Career Change (Investment Banking) - Please critique my cover letter.

Discussion in 'Business, Careers & Education' started by Douglas, Feb 9, 2012.

  1. Douglas

    Douglas Stupid ass member

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    OK not really my cover letter - look here for the real story: http://gawker.com/5883684/the-awful-cover-letter-all-of-wall-street-is-laughing-about
     
  2. jrd617

    jrd617 Senior member

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  3. MrG

    MrG Senior member

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    :laugh:

    It's like he wrote it and then went through the whole thing right-clicking and using the first synonym that popped up. Also, I counted four rather egregious typos, and I wasn't even looking for them.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2012
  4. Douglas

    Douglas Stupid ass member

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    I think it's funny that the version (allegedly) submitted to JP Morgan has down in the text that he hopes to work at Morgan Stanley. Whoops. Not working hard enough there, bub.

    It only just occurred to me that "best and rightest" was supposed to be best and brightest. I was all WTF is rightest?
     
  5. CYstyle

    CYstyle Senior member

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    meh hypothetically I'd give that person an interview. Sure he has a mistakes in his cover letter, but I'd overlook it.

    In my opinion interviews, resumes, and cover letters aren't a great way to determine anything. Hiring a bunch of HR analysts costs money, then having analysts and managers take time out of their day to interview prospective people and buying them lunch costs money too. Have computer simulations that prospective employees/interns can do, doing analysis on blah, and have some online tests and screen people out that way.

    I think the problem is one could infer too much from typos, grammar mistakes and other things, and think that person is careless, no attention to detail and whatnot. What ends up happening is eventually companies with pretty much the same interviews, and similarly trained hr/recruiters looking for the same thing all end up wanting the same people. If you are paying them, they can negotiate higher salaries since they have multiple offers. There's plenty of value in those that were too over eagerly tossed in the discard pile.
     
  6. freddych

    freddych Senior member

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    Amen to that. Take a look at their grades to see if they are smart, then interview them to make sure they aren't totally weird. They'll be fired if it's not working out. Corporations overthink hiring at the entry level by way too much.

    That said, when there are 100 students vying for 1 spot like at an investment bank, they can afford to be picky.
     
  7. erictheobscure

    erictheobscure Senior member

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    I stopped reading at NYU.

    FAIL!
     
  8. yjeezle

    yjeezle Senior member

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    this is bad real bad michael jackson.

    the grammar isn't what gets me the most... it's the command of the english language.

    terrifying efficiency. really? terrifying? how is binding a booklet for me going to be terrifyingly efficient?

    also, you wrote all this shit that explains how awesome your accomplishments are but you offer no depth.
     
  9. CYstyle

    CYstyle Senior member

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    Well honestly 99.99% of people who are still a junior in college has not really had any "real accomplishments". Pretty much everyone's in the same boat, no real experience, no opportunity for the experience, so they gotta really inflate and fluff up their other internships, volunteer and work experience.

    Look at HR douchebags who do similar things: People at subway are sandwich artists or janitors are now Sanitation Engineers
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2012
  10. dragon8

    dragon8 Senior member

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    The "Dear Sir or Madame" thing is old and is not used anymore.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2012
  11. yjeezle

    yjeezle Senior member

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    right, what i'm saying is... pick one fluff and give it more depth to make it look more "accomplished." i don't need a list of all the shit you've done that's what your resume is for isn't it?


    just curious, what do most people use now if you don't know who's going to be reviewing your letter?
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2012
  12. CYstyle

    CYstyle Senior member

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    True, shoulda expanded on the bench double his body weight. In case of a major earthquake and I get injured, he can lift the rubble off me and carry me to safety :D

    dunno, I put hiring manager but I don't think it really matters.
     
  13. Texasmade

    Texasmade Senior member

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    This letter is just screaming "I drive a Dodge Stratus!!"
     
  14. eddievddr10

    eddievddr10 Senior member

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    ding! ding! ding!
    i like that he writes that he is "shrewd", i would personally write madoff-like
     
  15. HRoi

    HRoi Senior member

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    all those I-bankers laughing at this forwarded cover letter should stop and reflect on why other people think they have to act like utter jackasses to impress them.
     

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