career advice for my bum of a sister

Discussion in 'Business, Careers & Education' started by globetrotter, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    With that said, why are you putting it upon yourself to help her get a job? Unless she's destitute she should figure out how to get by on her own. Just don't lend her money or more than you're comfortable parting with forever.
     


  2. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    You're a good man, Globe, for trying - your sister doesn't deserve you.

    Your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I'm sure is happy that you are following his example of love and unconditional compassion.
     


  3. Joffrey

    Joffrey Senior member

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    Not so sure about that Horns, given the thread title.
     


  4. JilSlander

    JilSlander Senior member

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    Don't know why I laughed, but maybe it was a reaction to reading the topic title and then reading this post.
     


  5. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    thanks, Horns, jI understand that is meant as a very high valued compliment, I am not sure that I deserve it. i am niether compasionate or uncondintional, for that matter. but thank you


    as to why - I honestly am not going to let my sister starve, or be homeless. so, eventually this will cost me money and agrivation. family relationships are difficult. she has never really been bad to me, she's just older and we didnt' really interact that much, but if she is destitute and calls me, I don't think that I will be able to tell her to fuck off.
     


  6. texas_jack

    texas_jack Senior member

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    Just go ahead and build a room in the back yard.
     


  7. Rambo

    Rambo Senior member

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    Serious query - why not put her to work at your company? At least for a temp period. Mail room, secretary, bullshit jobs, etc.. Just to give her something to do and some way to earn.

    Saving that, maybe ship her out somewhere with a burgeoning Joo presence? Seems like Chicago isn't working out for her that well.

    Also, how can you become a rabbi without being involved in a synagogue?
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2013


  8. HRoi

    HRoi Senior member

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    ^ if she's not reliable or has an attitude problem, her fails will fuck up globe's hard earned reputation. Which is a serious problem unless globe owns the company (and even then it's a problem)
     


  9. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    Give her a one-way ticket to Maldives.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2013


  10. Rambo

    Rambo Senior member

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    very true. but, still, easier to start at home. maybe he could foam the runway and see where it leads.


    if he's handing them out I'll take one as well...
     


  11. VinnyMac

    VinnyMac Senior member

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    Is she your stepsister or something? Did you grow up in separate households? Were you molested as a child? I've never heard a man speak with such disdain for his sister.

    She's made it to 50, and if she's satisfied with wear she is, then I don't see what the problem is. She's obviously not needy enough to stop being a "bitch," so maybe you should stop judging, and let her be.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2013


  12. Master-Classter

    Master-Classter Senior member

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    As Jesus would say, turn the other cheek. Considering she's a bum, makes sense non?


    Honestly GT, I think you're 'doing the right thing' and I understand your position. We never really should give up hope. I guess the question for me is, is SHE unhappy with where she's at and how she's living? You can take a horse to water... is it just that she isn't living the way YOU think she should? You said she's looking for a job, why? find her motivation/reward and focus on using that to get her in a better position.

    I would avoid letting her get involved too much in your own business or lending money etc as people have said. Maybe see if she can find a role in the community? I know a lot of the chasidics and people who grow up in those environments are socially sheltered and ultimately only find acceptance within those circles. Maybe you can ask the local shul to offer her something like helping there or at a hebrew school or for one of the charities, etc.


    and I'll just drop this in here. sounds cliche maybe but it seems to me to be the most basic premise of behaviour. Covey - if you keep doing what you've been doing you'll keep getting what you've been getting. Ie if she takes the same attitude/beliefs/approach, she'll have the same results. Explain that to her, ask her to evaluate her results, then the behaviours that caused them, then the thoughts/feelings/attitude that expressed as those behaviours, and give her suggestions for more productive thoughts or behaviours and tell her to go try those. Make her admit that what she's been doing hasn't really been working. And if she thinks it has been working then she won't change what she's doing. And if she blames everything/everyone else, tell her that and tell her she needs to start taking responsibility for the results of her life.


    eh, just a ramble. hopefully there's something useful in there.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2013


  13. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    I'd never get her involved in where I work. I helped her, about 15 years ago, get an appartment with a friend of mine as the landlord and she screwed over my friend and made me look bad, so I know she doens't respect things like that. but in general she is lazy and doesnt' really have skills that could be used in my workplace.




    exactly


    no, not really, no, you obivously haven't read my previous posts about my sister

    unfrotunatly, she isn't satisfied with where she is, but, yes, she isn't needy enough to stop being a bitch. and she is getting money from my mother, who is getting money from me, so I need to find a way to get her off the family dole.



    she is unhappy. I was hoping that this present situation would be enough to drive her to seek help but it hasn't been yet.

    thanks -

    I had told my wife that when my sister got out of this present job search I would fly out and have a talk with her about attitude in general and what I think would help her keep her next job, but I didn't want to do it while she was searching so as not to put her out of focus on the job search or chop up her confidence. but since this search isn't going well I did send her an email with an offer to pay for a career coach if she would commit to working with one and taking it seriously. I don't know if there is anything more that I can do for her.


    anyway, thanks Gentlemen
     


  14. L.R.

    L.R. Senior member

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    Family is family, there is no choice. I'm supporting my own father, and I'm earning the kind of money and working in the type of job that leads nowhere. But at the end of the day, I think it's worth it.

    I would suggest getting her enrolled in some sort of trade, minor computer skills, or something hands on and light(Baking?). Steady employment is all that's needed to survive. If she can support herself day to day, it becomes a lot easier to help in larger ways.
     


  15. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Senior member

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