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Care Packaging for a Pal Getting Divorced

Esa

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Hi SF,

One of my very best pals is going through a difficult divorce (~20 yr relationship - she's the bad guy). I live a on a different coast and wanted to send a "care package" to him. I have some cuban cigars and wine ready to ship. I thought I'd ask you fellas your thoughts on anything else I should add.

I'm traveling this week and was thinking of picking up a single malt scotch at the duty free to toss in.

Any ideas of something fun to add. I think cigars, wine, and scotch make a solid package but I'm wondering if anyone has some more creative ideas??????

I've known him forever so nothing is out of bounds. Any ideas are welcome!

Thanks,
E
 

erictheobscure

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fashion_newbie

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Too bad Craigslist shut down their Adult Services section earlier this month...
 

erdawe

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Originally Posted by fashion_newbie
Too bad Craigslist shut down their Adult Services section earlier this month...
Really?.. No more material to read when I'm bored. What about missed connections? ON TOPIC: Unless you know they smoke, I wouldn't get them a vice they haven't already picked up with the cigars. But you probably have already though of that point with mentioning them. Regardless of what you get, the best thing you can give is some of your time when you get back from traveling to hang. I'm sure being moved out is a very different feeling, so people to talk, drink and shoot the shit with is likely needed to get on your feet.
 

Dakota rube

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Your pal doesn't need cigars or booze. He needs someone to talk to. Someone to reassure him that he isn't the worthless piece of shit that his old lady is telling him he is.

Call him daily. Not just a two-minute conversation, either. Talk to him.
 

countdemoney

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Originally Posted by Dakota rube
Your pal doesn't need cigars or booze. He needs someone to talk to. Someone to reassure him that he isn't the worthless piece of shit that his old lady is telling him he is.

Call him daily. Not just a two-minute conversation, either. Talk to him.


This is the real truth if it's a divorce he didn't want. Don't be afraid to coach him up. Give him suggestions for how to take back control of his life and not let himself be a victim of whatever her game happens to be.

Those can be:
1. Telling him to get his crap in gear. In the case of one friend it was encouraging him to forget his own fears and worry about the needs of the kids (physical and emotional) in the case of another it was telling him to figure out his living arrangements. In both instances the goal is to get them focused on other items. Any way for him to achieve small victories and feel in control as opposed to out of control.
2. Suggestions/encouragement for clubs/interests where he can GTFO of his place and not be alone staring at the walls feeling like a failure.
3. Encourage him to get out. Even if he is not ready, interested or really capable of dating others, he needs to get his ass moved on. Fucking new people helps.

Most men are problem solvers and take pride in fixing things. If you can give him small problems to solve, you've given him a chance to rebuild his self-confidence.
 

thinman

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Originally Posted by Dakota rube
Your pal doesn't need cigars or booze. He needs someone to talk to. Someone to reassure him that he isn't the worthless piece of shit that his old lady is telling him he is.

Call him daily. Not just a two-minute conversation, either. Talk to him.


+1. Also send him the number of a good divorce lawyer. They're worth their weight in gold.
 

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