Business Buzz Words & DoubleSpeak

Discussion in 'Entertainment, Culture, and Sports' started by Horace, Mar 12, 2005.

  1. Horace

    Horace Senior member

    Messages:
    1,447
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Spinning off Faustian Bargain's thread, here are a few words and phrases that I hate (some are pernicious and some just are an excuse for not thinking):

    win win (which is really just an excuse for rabid self-interest)

    on the same page

    touch base

    "human resources"

    downsizing

    interface (when used as verb for communication among people)


    Edit: Just listening to a radio program on Walmart. They call their workers "associates".
     


  2. topcatny

    topcatny Senior member

    Messages:
    1,054
    Likes Received:
    26
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2004
    Location:
    NYC and Long Island, NY
    and a customer at Target is called a "guest"

    Uh...I am a guest? Then why am I paying for things?  When I am a guest at someone's home they don't ask me to pay for dinner.
     


  3. Steve B.

    Steve B. Go Spurs Go

    Messages:
    10,284
    Likes Received:
    125
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Location:
    San Antonio
    "forming/maintaining relationships"

    means he takes his customers with him wherever he goes and you can wipe your butt with any non-compete he signs

    "proactive"

    means he'll make that end run around you to the boss's boss so adroitly neither one of you will ever know what hit you.

    Perhaps Manton can make us a dictionary and we can sell it.
     


  4. Steve B.

    Steve B. Go Spurs Go

    Messages:
    10,284
    Likes Received:
    125
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Location:
    San Antonio
    "turnkey solution"

    i.e. let's squeeze out the other guys while still managing to skirt antitrust laws. Popular with employees of Microsoft...

    "Efficient managment of resources"

    this means we're gonna fire a whole lot of you guys so we can do this offshore and pay $2 a day...
     


  5. Steve B.

    Steve B. Go Spurs Go

    Messages:
    10,284
    Likes Received:
    125
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Location:
    San Antonio
    "team player"

    can mean either individual so named cannot assert him/herself, or is a back-stabber with such Machiavellian talent no one else can see he/she's gunning for their jobs

    "director level position"

    Accdng to the laws of the Peter Principle- this guy/girl has a snowball's chance in Hell of making Vice President

    "self starter"

    what other kind of starter is there???...
     


  6. drizzt3117

    drizzt3117 Senior member

    Messages:
    13,141
    Likes Received:
    10
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    oh come on, you guys can do better than this...

    the worst buzzword of all is probably "synergy" and this should be fairly self explanatory.

    close behind would probably be "competitive advantage" followed by "core competencies"

    It's even worse when you start using synergy as a verb... I once had a report come across my desk from an intern doing a project for our company that suggested that a merger would be successful by "synerging corporate core competencies" If that isn't a load of bs...
     


  7. Steve B.

    Steve B. Go Spurs Go

    Messages:
    10,284
    Likes Received:
    125
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Location:
    San Antonio
    OK Guys, doesn't count w/out a humorous definition. We could have some real fun w/this.
     


  8. norcaltransplant

    norcaltransplant Senior member

    Messages:
    2,421
    Likes Received:
    44
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2003
    Location:
    NYC/Brooklyn
    "Added value"
    def: see McKinsey & Co. billing practices; synonym: bleeding a customer dry, ant: providing a real service
     


  9. j

    j (stands for Jerk) Admin

    Messages:
    14,914
    Likes Received:
    93
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2002
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    "going forward" - my all time most hated

    preposition. having royally screwed this aspect of business in the past, the period of time starting "now", i.e. beginning with a recent reorganization of resources and assets

    "leverage" - close second

    verb. to use inefficiently
     


  10. Steve B.

    Steve B. Go Spurs Go

    Messages:
    10,284
    Likes Received:
    125
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Location:
    San Antonio
    I'll take a stab at "synergy"...

    acting as if there's ever an instance when a corporation enters into a "relationship" with another without all eyes on both companies fixed on quarterly earnings and how to fatten bonuses in the "c" suite...

    "C" suite- that area in a company where all the (very nasty name)s have their offices, and no one can see the long term forest for the trees of above referenced bonuses
     


  11. drizzt3117

    drizzt3117 Senior member

    Messages:
    13,141
    Likes Received:
    10
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    "synergy" A term used to imply that a merger of two companies will result in a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts, because the two companies will be able to work together more efficiently. In reality, it means a larger and more powerful company is purchasing a smaller one, likely for its intellectual property, clients, or other stuff, and is going to issue many many pink slips upon the merger completion.
     


  12. Steve B.

    Steve B. Go Spurs Go

    Messages:
    10,284
    Likes Received:
    125
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2002
    Location:
    San Antonio
    Yours is better, Drizz... How about the other 2??? I have one "business devlopment" = strong arm, used car sales tactics with unattainable "goals" or "quotas" Do those 2 later today, heh [​IMG]
     


  13. Valmont

    Valmont Senior member

    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2002
    Location:
    Stockholm, Sweden
    Sustainable growth...

    Establishing a department within your company for the sole purpose of devising new ways to screw over the competition and sucking the general public dry.
     


  14. Horace

    Horace Senior member

    Messages:
    1,447
    Likes Received:
    0
    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    I hate the phrase "price point" and especially those who use it as a synonym for "price". My loathing of the phrase is akin to Shooman's loathing of rubber-soled shoos.
     


  15. Bradford

    Bradford Current Events Moderator

    Messages:
    6,708
    Likes Received:
    153
    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2002
    Location:
    Phoenix
    My boss just sent me an e-mail in which I am supposed to set up a conference call with one of my clients so that we can "dialogue" about one of their programs.

    I responded that I would set up the call so we could "discuss" the issue.

    Bradford
     


Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by