Broke into burned out house, took haunted things, now wat

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by eglbc, Dec 6, 2010.

  1. eglbc

    eglbc Senior member

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    I told animal control I could just throw it out, but they insisted they would rather deal with it , Im assuming to make sure its not disease ridden.

    Sorry for putting such a dent in the deficit, I hope you dont incur any unjust taxation as a result.
     
  2. redcaimen

    redcaimen Bigtime

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    So I walked out my front door this morning, only to find a squirrel taking its final breaths.

    Is it a sign?

    It was right under the power lines, so maybe he got shocked. I was going to end his struggle, but my GF insisted I call animal control.

    Now its in a USPS flat rate box in front of my door awaiting retrieval.


    You had your chance to make things right with the supernatural in regards to your trespas and theft.

    The squirrel was a sign. You should have had a tiny t-shirt made that said "I offer my fading life force as sacrifice for eglbc's thoughtless depradations" and put it on the squirrel then put the squrrel in the USPS flat rate box and sent it to the address of the burnt out haunted house.
     
  3. eglbc

    eglbc Senior member

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  4. redcaimen

    redcaimen Bigtime

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    Can we be pen pals?

    I only want to be penpals with Tagutcow, but he rejects me.

    If I think of any more solutions that involve silkscreening I will let you know.
     
  5. eglbc

    eglbc Senior member

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    I have a entire silkscreen factory at my disposal, I can have strike offs end of day.

    Edit

    So when I got home from work, I saw the box had moved. Animal control most have come and disposed of the squirrel. My tax dollars at work.

    However, the squirrel was still there, lifeless.

    Why would someone pick up the box, move it, but leave the squirrel? What kind of person would do that?

    So now Im practically back where I started. I still have a dead squirrel in a usps flat rate box. How should I get rid of it?
     
  6. Benzito

    Benzito Senior member

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    You had your chance to make things right with the supernatural in regards to your trespas and theft.

    The squirrel was a sign. You should have had a tiny t-shirt made that said "I offer my fading life force as sacrifice for eglbc's thoughtless depradations" and put it on the squirrel then put the squrrel in the USPS flat rate box and sent it to the address of the burnt out haunted house.


    This is, by far and away, the most thought-out and lucid plan for your curious dilemma. If only God allowed a little redcaimen (a la cartoon devil and angel) on everyone's shoulder for trying times like this.
     
  7. ConcernedParent

    ConcernedParent Senior member

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    Pretty good thread. Wouldn't read again, but enjoyed it nonetheless.
     
  8. frenchy

    frenchy In Time Out

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    I have a entire silkscreen factory at my disposal, I can have strike offs end of day.

    Edit

    So when I got home from work, I saw the box had moved. Animal control most have come and disposed of the squirrel. My tax dollars at work.

    However, the squirrel was still there, lifeless.

    Why would someone pick up the box, move it, but leave the squirrel? What kind of person would do that?

    So now Im practically back where I started. I still have a dead squirrel in a usps flat rate box. How should I get rid of it?


    george costanza is that you?
     
  9. eglbc

    eglbc Senior member

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    So this morning I assumed the squirrel would be in the box still and I could easily dispose of it, yet some person took it out and moved the box, leaving the squirrel exposed to the elements. I dont know what game they're playing, but I dont like it.

    Now Its been a couple days and Im concerned it may start to smell.

    Hopefully its gone when I get home, if not, I will flat rate ship it to the neighbors dumpster w/o tracking.
     
  10. DerekS

    DerekS Guyliner

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    hm. did you break into the house for the sexual thrill and fap all over the couples belongings that you didnt steal? if not, go back to said house and fap to completion over any family photos you find. after you shoot your baby batter, coninue as advised above by handcuffing yourself to the banister and setting the house on fire again.

    (of course this all has to be done while wearing the tshirt that was mentioned)
     
  11. KJT

    KJT Senior member

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    So this morning I assumed the squirrel would be in the box still and I could easily dispose of it, yet some person took it out and moved the box, leaving the squirrel exposed to the elements. I dont know what game they're playing, but I dont like it.

    Now Its been a couple days and Im concerned it may start to smell.

    Hopefully its gone when I get home, if not, I will flat rate ship it to the neighbors dumpster w/o tracking.


    I'd bet you have some other animals interested in the rotting corpse on your porch.
     
  12. M. Bardamu

    M. Bardamu Senior member

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    So this morning I assumed the squirrel would be in the box still and I could easily dispose of it, yet some person took it out and moved the box, leaving the squirrel exposed to the elements. I dont know what game they're playing, but I dont like it.

    Now Its been a couple days and Im concerned it may start to smell.

    Hopefully its gone when I get home, if not, I will flat rate ship it to the neighbors dumpster w/o tracking.


    USPS box is an orgone accumulator -- mystery solved.
     
  13. eglbc

    eglbc Senior member

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    Someone decided they couldn't look at the box anymore and got rid of it. What strikes me as odd is they left the wide eyed rigor mortise squirrel but threw out the box.

    So in a scene borrowed out of a noir film I went out in the dark with my shovel and scooped him up. The floodlight behind me cast a long shadow, and I stopped upon seeing my shadow self, shovel in hand, squirrel in shovel and thought, is this the end?
     
  14. edinatlanta

    edinatlanta Senior member

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    Someone decided they couldn't look at the box anymore and got rid of it. What strikes me as odd is they left the wide eyed rigor mortise squirrel but threw out the box.

    So in a scene borrowed out of a noir film I went out in the dark with my shovel and scooped him up. The floodlight behind me cast a long shadow, and I stopped upon seeing my shadow self, shovel in hand, squirrel in shovel and thought, is this the end?


    THAT'S IT????

    WE HAVE NO FURTHER UPDATES THAN A LAST SECOND PONDERING OF eglbc'S FATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    MEANING WE CAN ONLY ASSUME AN EVIL SPIRIT BROUGHT ABOUT HIS DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THE LEGENDS WERE TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  15. redcaimen

    redcaimen Bigtime

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    As a tribute to this thread the OP should once again recover the photos from the haunted house, digitize them and provide them to SF so tribute participating members can use them as avatars.

    You should be able to choose only one photo, so while some may be stuck with a standard (though disquieting considering the origin) vacation photo landscape, those who act quickly may acquire truly disturbing images of the couple in happier times.
     

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