Broke into burned out house, took haunted things, now wat

[eglbc]

I told animal control I could just throw it out, but they insisted they would rather deal with it , Im assuming to make sure its not disease ridden.

Sorry for putting such a dent in the deficit, I hope you dont incur any unjust taxation as a result.

 

[redcaimen]

Originally Posted by eglbc

So I walked out my front door this morning, only to find a squirrel taking its final breaths.

Is it a sign?

It was right under the power lines, so maybe he got shocked. I was going to end his struggle, but my GF insisted I call animal control.

Now its in a USPS flat rate box in front of my door awaiting retrieval.

You had your chance to make things right with the supernatural in regards to your trespas and theft.

The squirrel was a sign. You should have had a tiny t-shirt made that said "I offer my fading life force as sacrifice for eglbc's thoughtless depradations" and put it on the squirrel then put the squrrel in the USPS flat rate box and sent it to the address of the burnt out haunted house.

 

[eglbc]

Can we be pen pals?

 

[redcaimen]

Originally Posted by eglbc

Can we be pen pals?

I only want to be penpals with Tagutcow, but he rejects me.

If I think of any more solutions that involve silkscreening I will let you know.

 

[eglbc]

I have a entire silkscreen factory at my disposal, I can have strike offs end of day.

Edit

So when I got home from work, I saw the box had moved. Animal control most have come and disposed of the squirrel. My tax dollars at work.

However, the squirrel was still there, lifeless.

Why would someone pick up the box, move it, but leave the squirrel? What kind of person would do that?

So now Im practically back where I started. I still have a dead squirrel in a usps flat rate box. How should I get rid of it?

 

[Benzito]

Originally Posted by redcaimen

You had your chance to make things right with the supernatural in regards to your trespas and theft.

The squirrel was a sign. You should have had a tiny t-shirt made that said "I offer my fading life force as sacrifice for eglbc's thoughtless depradations" and put it on the squirrel then put the squrrel in the USPS flat rate box and sent it to the address of the burnt out haunted house.

This is, by far and away, the most thought-out and lucid plan for your curious dilemma. If only God allowed a little redcaimen (a la cartoon devil and angel) on everyone's shoulder for trying times like this.

 

[ConcernedParent]

Pretty good thread. Wouldn't read again, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

 

[frenchy]

Originally Posted by eglbc

I have a entire silkscreen factory at my disposal, I can have strike offs end of day.

Edit

So when I got home from work, I saw the box had moved. Animal control most have come and disposed of the squirrel. My tax dollars at work.

However, the squirrel was still there, lifeless.

Why would someone pick up the box, move it, but leave the squirrel? What kind of person would do that?

So now Im practically back where I started. I still have a dead squirrel in a usps flat rate box. How should I get rid of it?

george costanza is that you?

 

[eglbc]

So this morning I assumed the squirrel would be in the box still and I could easily dispose of it, yet some person took it out and moved the box, leaving the squirrel exposed to the elements. I dont know what game they're playing, but I dont like it.

Now Its been a couple days and Im concerned it may start to smell.

Hopefully its gone when I get home, if not, I will flat rate ship it to the neighbors dumpster w/o tracking.

 

[DerekS]

hm. did you break into the house for the sexual thrill and fap all over the couples belongings that you didnt steal? if not, go back to said house and fap to completion over any family photos you find. after you shoot your baby batter, coninue as advised above by handcuffing yourself to the banister and setting the house on fire again.

(of course this all has to be done while wearing the tshirt that was mentioned)

 

[KJT]

Originally Posted by eglbc

So this morning I assumed the squirrel would be in the box still and I could easily dispose of it, yet some person took it out and moved the box, leaving the squirrel exposed to the elements. I dont know what game they're playing, but I dont like it.

Now Its been a couple days and Im concerned it may start to smell.

Hopefully its gone when I get home, if not, I will flat rate ship it to the neighbors dumpster w/o tracking.

I'd bet you have some other animals interested in the rotting corpse on your porch.

 

[M. Bardamu]

Originally Posted by eglbc

So this morning I assumed the squirrel would be in the box still and I could easily dispose of it, yet some person took it out and moved the box, leaving the squirrel exposed to the elements. I dont know what game they're playing, but I dont like it.

Now Its been a couple days and Im concerned it may start to smell.

Hopefully its gone when I get home, if not, I will flat rate ship it to the neighbors dumpster w/o tracking.

USPS box is an orgone accumulator -- mystery solved.

 

[eglbc]

Someone decided they couldn't look at the box anymore and got rid of it. What strikes me as odd is they left the wide eyed rigor mortise squirrel but threw out the box.

So in a scene borrowed out of a noir film I went out in the dark with my shovel and scooped him up. The floodlight behind me cast a long shadow, and I stopped upon seeing my shadow self, shovel in hand, squirrel in shovel and thought, is this the end?

 

[edinatlanta]

Originally Posted by eglbc

Someone decided they couldn't look at the box anymore and got rid of it. What strikes me as odd is they left the wide eyed rigor mortise squirrel but threw out the box.

So in a scene borrowed out of a noir film I went out in the dark with my shovel and scooped him up. The floodlight behind me cast a long shadow, and I stopped upon seeing my shadow self, shovel in hand, squirrel in shovel and thought, is this the end?

THAT'S IT????

WE HAVE NO FURTHER UPDATES THAN A LAST SECOND PONDERING OF eglbc'S FATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEANING WE CAN ONLY ASSUME AN EVIL SPIRIT BROUGHT ABOUT HIS DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LEGENDS WERE TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[redcaimen]

As a tribute to this thread the OP should once again recover the photos from the haunted house, digitize them and provide them to SF so tribute participating members can use them as avatars.

You should be able to choose only one photo, so while some may be stuck with a standard (though disquieting considering the origin) vacation photo landscape, those who act quickly may acquire truly disturbing images of the couple in happier times.