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Black tie optional wedding

Cameron59

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Can not decide whether to wear a tux to BLK Tie optional wedding. Santa Fe in late September. Wedding is at 4 p.m.

Is Black Tie Optional just code for "please wear a tie and dark colored suit"?

Thanks
 

breakaway01

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Black tie optional is exactly what it says. You can wear black tie but if not, then a conservative dark suit and tie. If you already have a black tie rig, by all means wear it.
 

Phileas Fogg

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“Black tie optional” is an utterly ridiculous phrase.

Think about how odd it would look for just a few people to show up in tuxedos and and the rest wearing whatever.

Skip the tux. Wear a dark suit.
 

EZB

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The wedding is optional
 

double00

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“Black tie optional” is an utterly ridiculous phrase.

Think about how odd it would look for just a few people to show up in tuxedos and and the rest wearing whatever.

Skip the tux. Wear a dark suit.
i could see the wedding party being black tie and not holding everybody else to that mode

is basically the lot of a bridesmaid to not nest with the group

if it sounds fun do black tie $.02.
 

breakaway01

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Yes, to me it means that the bridal party would love to see people in black tie attire but also recognizes that most men don't already have a tuxedo and they don't want people to go to the expense of getting a tuxedo if they don't have one. If you want to wear black tie, go for it. If you would feel self-conscious being in the minority of people wearing black tie, just wear a suit.
 

TheChihuahua

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Means the bride would like to see people take attire seriously, and that people should feel free to go all out with this effort. But at the same time, don’t go rent a tux if you don’t have one.
If you have a tux, wear it. The bride or whoever opted for black tie optional would probably appreciate it. That’s why they stepped it up to that level. Have fun and play the part.
 

dauster

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Can not decide whether to wear a tux to BLK Tie optional wedding. Santa Fe in late September. Wedding is at 4 p.m.

Is Black Tie Optional just code for "please wear a tie and dark colored suit"?

Thanks
in my world this means everyone wears the shitty suit they have in the closet and two people show up dressed nicely and then look weird because they stand out so much.
 

VegasRebel

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This is probably overly technical, but if I'm going to be overly technical about fashion rules anywhere this is likely the place.

Wedding is at 4pm. My understanding is that tux's are a no-go before 6pm (hence why I'm wearing a suit when I get married at 4:30 and a tux for my reception later this year.) Wouldn't going in a tux to a 4pm wedding be incorrect (or, perhaps, incorrect but overlooked since it's explicitly "optional"?)
 

classicalthunde

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Can not decide whether to wear a tux to BLK Tie optional wedding. Santa Fe in late September. Wedding is at 4 p.m.

Is Black Tie Optional just code for "please wear a tie and dark colored suit"?

Thanks
My own approach to this is to check with friends/family outside of the wedding party if they will be wearing a tux (so I'm not the only one), and if so, then if you own a tux feel free to wear it and if you do not own a tux do not feel compelled to rent one but try to wear a dark (navy, charcoal) suit. I've been to 'black tie optional' weddings where no one (including the groom) wore a tux and I've been to ones where well over 50% were in tuxedos. I think it largely depends on the crowd and location...

For black tie events (i.e. optional not indicated) I've always interpreted that as wear a tux or don't come...


Wedding is at 4pm. My understanding is that tux's are a no-go before 6pm (hence why I'm wearing a suit when I get married at 4:30 and a tux for my reception later this year.) Wouldn't going in a tux to a 4pm wedding be incorrect (or, perhaps, incorrect but overlooked since it's explicitly "optional"?)
My understanding has always been if the wedding directly leads into the reception, which starts around 5/6pm then you can wear your tux pre-5/6pm without it being against the rules. If the wedding is 11am and the reception is 6pm then wear a suit to the wedding and change into your tux for the reception
 

ValidusLA

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Black Tie Optional just means they didn't have the stones to go Black Tie or even Black Tie Preferred.

I always translate Black Tie Optional as "I really wish people would wear black tie, but I'm afraid of imposing my will on other people or being seen as too pretentious."
 

TheChihuahua

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Black Tie Optional just means they didn't have the stones to go Black Tie or even Black Tie Preferred.

I always translate Black Tie Optional as "I really wish people would wear black tie, but I'm afraid of imposing my will on other people or being seen as too pretentious."
or understanding that there may be some friends or family that are not as well off and attending the wedding, paying for travel or whatever, and adding a tuxedo rental to the cost, might cause them to be apprehensive or uncomfortable about attending. And ultimately a wedding is supposed to be a celebration with friends and family, so no need to make them uncomfortable.
 

ValidusLA

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or understanding that there may be some friends or family that are not as well off and attending the wedding, paying for travel or whatever, and adding a tuxedo rental to the cost, might cause them to be apprehensive or uncomfortable about attending. And ultimately a wedding is supposed to be a celebration with friends and family, so no need to make them uncomfortable.
Black Tie Preferred allows for all those options while still strongly letting people know that if they can do BT the couple wants that to be what is worn.

BTO always leads to majority not in black tie.
 

TheChihuahua

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Black Tie Preferred allows for all those options while still strongly letting people know that if they can do BT the couple wants that to be what is worn.

BTO always leads to majority not in black tie.
not disagreeing.
but the word “preferred” could still lead to an uncomfortable feeling for those who are going against the bride’s “preference”
A wedding is about the guests being a part of the occasion, families being together that might not see each other all that often, etc.. for some, it’s better to make everyone that is invited feel welcome.

so I view black tie optional as the couple letting the guests know that they would like to see some tuxedos. So play the part of you can.
 

ValidusLA

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not disagreeing.
but the word “preferred” could still lead to an uncomfortable feeling for those who are going against the bride’s “preference”
A wedding is about the guests being a part of the occasion, families being together that might not see each other all that often, etc.. for some, it’s better to make everyone that is invited feel welcome.

so I view black tie optional as the couple letting the guests know that they would like to see some tuxedos. So play the part of you can.
I think this would be a better argument in the age before mass communication.

My wife chose Preferred for our wedding. We had 330ish guests and I'd say 300-310 came black tie.

Almost all of our younger guests talked to us and we explained that if cost/travel etc was an issue it wasn't a big deal. And we had people coming from Asia, Europe, and all around the country.

Its so easy to ask now and "Preferred" elicits a convo in a way "Optional" doesn't.

Added benefit that it spurred a conversation about what Black Tie even means. Most of my younger female friends assumed it meant black dresses.

Ever BTO wedding I go to, people see "optional" and don't even ask the bride and groom.

I'll be at a BTO wedding at rhe Bel Air Bay Club next month. Everyone there has the money for a rig. I bet it will be sub 25% because of "optional" and Summer.
 

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