Big relationship trouble!

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by JetBlast, Jan 3, 2007.

  1. JetBlast

    JetBlast Senior member

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    No no, she isn't with anyone. If she was I would just wish her luck and move on. She is single. Sorry if that wasn't clear! What I meant by my other comment was that IF she finds someone else it will be slightly difficult to talk to her knowing that she has some other guy as a boyfriend. It just makes you feel like you weren't good enough and some other guy was. I'm one of those people who doesn't like to accept that kind of fact even if it is true.

    I think I covered this, I don't know if she does or not. We have gone to a movie together and are supposed to go to dinner, I'm not sure if that counts as a date.

    No, I've only been out alone with her twice. I see her every day in school though and there's no way we are going to kiss in school! I got close to a kiss last time but not exactly there so maybe if we go out again it will happen.

    I am doing this exact thing right now, I am not talking to her either. I want to give her some time to cool off a little but I am planning to pull her away in person in class next week sometime unless she makes the first move.

    Ahahaha. Thanks for adding some humor to my day [​IMG]

    Just a note, I'm one of those persistent people who doesn't want to give up the fight unless the final word is cast by her!

    Brian
     


  2. Edward Appleby

    Edward Appleby Senior member

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    Just a note, I'm one of those persistent people who doesn't want to give up the fight unless the final word is cast by her!

    Brian

    A lot of girls, for some terrible reason (God's fucked up sense of humor?) think that it's kinder to not reject guys outright and instead leave us in a limbo with a few tiny shreds of hope that we delusionally hang on to, despite knowing subconciously that we don't have a chance.

    Now, I'm not saying you're at this stage yet, but don't miss another opportunity or torture yourself just because she hasn't furnished you with a notarized letter rejecting your advances.
     


  3. JetBlast

    JetBlast Senior member

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    Well I don't like the sound of that at all. I have just had a chat with her (she instant messeged me first actually) and things did get a little messy at times but we have agreed that I am going to give her some time to think things over. There is still a small molecule of hope here I think. I'm not sure what is going to come of this, I will see her in person tomorrow and I will see what happens.
    She said at one point that "it was over" but later on she had a slight change of heart and said that she loves me but is very mad right now. I was ready for that!

    I'm still keeping up the fight here, any suggestions?

    Brian

    PS I just want to say thanks for everyone who has posted here, I was only expecting a few replies saying to get over it and move on. You guys have really helped.
     


  4. Edward Appleby

    Edward Appleby Senior member

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    She said at one point that "it was over" but later on she had a slight change of heart and said that she loves me but is very mad right now. I was ready for that!
    She might actually mean that or she might be doing just what I said. Time will tell. Do yourself a favor, though, and don't be strung along by just a "molecule" of hope for too long before moving along.
     


  5. grimslade

    grimslade Senior member

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    A lot of girls, for some terrible reason (God's fucked up sense of humor?) think that it's kinder to not reject guys outright and instead leave us in a limbo with a few tiny shreds of hope that we delusionally hang on to, despite knowing subconciously that we don't have a chance.

    Now, I'm not saying you're at this stage yet, but don't miss another opportunity or torture yourself just because she hasn't furnished you with a notarized letter rejecting your advances.


    By "a lot of girls," Ed means "all girls." It's sick. But true.
     


  6. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red "Mr. Fashionista"

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    PS I just want to say thanks for everyone who has posted here, I was only expecting a few replies saying to get over it and move on. You guys have really helped.

    Don't just get over it and move on. Kick her to the curb.
     


  7. Rekevalate

    Rekevalate Active Member

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    Jetblast,

    I went through high school and university not so long ago and was in a similar situation to yours. I never asked any of the ladies out despite knowing that they liked me (mutual friends told me so, how much easier can it get?). I liked them but still didn't have the courage to ask.

    One day I saw a pretty girl in the car park whilst going to a convention. I asked her for directions. We had a lot in common and spent the rest of the night talking and walking around together. Similar situation to all the rest, except for this girl was special enough for me to gather the courage to ask her out. First and last time I have ever asked anyone out. Four years later we are still together and I am at the stage where I can't live without her.[​IMG]

    My point - if this girl was really that special and you think she likes you, you should do everything humanly possible (and 10% more) to win her over. Flowers and a card with a lovely but not cheesy message helps. Do not die wondering.
     


  8. Brian SD

    Brian SD Moderator

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    you are a teen age boy, your job is to try to get laid

    Not necessarily. Some of us have more respect then that for the opposite sex. Yes I have thought about it (which is obvious because, well, I'm a teenage guy!) and I have even indirectly brought it up with her (I wasn't talking about us, we were actually running a story in our school newspaper about teen pregnancy). She said she doesn't want to be a loose woman, she wants to wait to find the right guy. Believe it or not I have enough dignity in me to want the same thing.

    I just figured out the problem. It seems you're acting like a vagina. Only one type of woman likes vagina, and it's probably not the type you're after.

    Just kidding of course, welcome to the forum, etc. etc.

    I used to think I wanted to wait for the right woman, then I realized that the right woman was the first one that came on to me enough that I finally gave it up. Like I said in another post, I said "no" to sex (or situations leading up to it) more when I was 15 than I do now, because when I was 15 I, like you, thought it mattered. It doesn't.

    Although 15 certainly is a young age to lose your virginity, I wouldn't want anyone to push you, but I'll echo the others' sentiments and say that when I was 15 I thought I was going to marry a particular girl. I was obsessed with her, was just her "friend," loved her so much, thought she was "beautiful" instead of "hot," thought I could give her the respect that other guys couldn't, etc. For awhile I got really close. I even found out that she liked me. But she *never* treated me as fondly as the guys who she liked (nice guys finish last, as they say), and eventually I gave up.

    Then when I found out another girl liked me (and I considered myself unattractive too) I went for that and didn't regret that at all. Relationships in your teen years are all learning experiences. Use them for that. IMO, you need to experience what it's like to date different types of girls.

    I've even gone through that unrequited love thing again, when I was 20. And then I DID, eventually, get to date the girl and my feelings drained so incredibly fast when the novelty wore off, I ended up dumping her after a couple months. It was a mess of a relationship. Constant text messages all day long whining about random shit, "Do you even miss me when I'm gone?" etc. etc. I should have ended it much earlier but I am not the type who just cuts things off without lots of time to think it over (a fault in this circumstance) --- I realize this story is somewhat useless to you but just realize that because you have one idealized scenario in your mind, the relationship may end up completely different from how you thought it would go.
     


  9. oldseed

    oldseed Senior member

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    to the OP: you're half my age, but i like your story. i feel for ya. good luck.

    seed
     


  10. Stu

    Stu Senior member

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    You've gotten a lot of advice here, but the thing i would tell you is this:

    That you are crazy about this girl that is great, but put a limit on how much you will take, to what point you are willing to go, and then cut it after that, otherwise she will string you along forever.

    You are a good looking kid, with a lot of time ahead of you. Remember that she is going off to college next year, and the chances are astronomically high that she will want to do new things, date new people, have a completely new perspective on life. College is littered with the corpses of high school romances.
     


  11. Ambulance Chaser

    Ambulance Chaser Senior member

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    By "a lot of girls," Ed means "all girls." It's sick. But true.
    The sad thing is that no matter how much older and wiser we get, we always fall for it. It's like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football: This time we're really going to make it!
     


  12. globetrotter

    globetrotter Senior member

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    The sad thing is that no matter how much older and wiser we get, we always fall for it. It's like Charlie Brown trying to kick the football: This time we're really going to make it!


    I think that media supports this - we get bombarded with the message, our whole lives, that if we are nice and supporting that the gorgeous girl that has been trampling all over us will, eventually, come to her senses and stop dating attractive guys and settle for us.
     


  13. imageWIS

    imageWIS Senior member

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    I think that media supports this - we get bombarded with the message, our whole lives, that if we are nice and supporting that the gorgeous girl that has been trampling all over us will, eventually, come to her senses and stop dating attractive guys and settle for us.

    Yeah, it's in every "˜good guy romance' ever made. Its nonsense, I've learned that whatever part of you is a prick has to come out and treat women how they actually want to be treated, not how you think they would like to be treated, or how they say they would like to be treated. Because they all say they wanted a nice guy and to be treated well, but they always end up with the asshole who fucks them over. Women are masochists and don't want to be happy, ever.

    Jon.
     


  14. swisloc

    swisloc Well-Known Member

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    Constant text messages all day long whining about random shit, "Do you even miss me when I'm gone?" etc. etc. I should have ended it much earlier but I am not the type who just cuts things off without lots of time to think it over (a fault in this circumstance) --- I realize this story is somewhat useless to you but just realize that because you have one idealized scenario in your mind, the relationship may end up completely different from how you thought it would go.

    my god this is the worst. as everyone who has been in this situation will tell you (and by you, i mean the OP) this is what i meant originally by a waste of time. feeling pressure to make a relationship more than it is when it should just end. When the right situation for a long term, meaningful, relationship presents itself, you'll know immediately, because it won't be hard like this...
     


  15. imageWIS

    imageWIS Senior member

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    my god this is the worst. as everyone who has been in this situation will tell you (and by you, i mean the OP) this is what i meant originally by a waste of time. feeling pressure to make a relationship more than it is when it should just end. When the right situation for a long term, meaningful, relationship presents itself, you'll know immediately, because it won't be hard like this...

    Exactly! It shouldn't be this much work in the beginning. This is exactly what happened to me... I didn't want to let go, and it ended not how I would have liked, but looking back, she was totally wrong for me anyways. We shouldn't build castles in the sky.

    Jon.
     


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