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Attraction

jazz71

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Hi everyone. I am having a problem figuring something out. I am on the road to dating a girl named J. We have been out three times. I find her attractive, we get along, she is definetly GF potential. When we went out she has at least playfully tried to hit me. The only thing that is negative is that I have to instigate all our social outings so far. There is another girl at work named M, that I find myself attracted to we talked about running together.

I am starting to find myself daydreaming about kissing M. I think that both girls are even when it comes to looks. The flirtation between them both is even. I am Black, M is black and J is east Indian. J has on the surface the classic look that I like in my woman. She is a sharp dresser and is nice and kind, slender and short hair. M is slender too and fits into my looks in a woman as well.

I guess the difference between them is that I feel more sexually charged in M's presence. J is attractive and I see her as someone I would like to bring out with me on a date.

I will give you another analogy, if you have ever seen the movie Kiss the girls, with Morgan Freeman, and Ashley Judd. J reminds me of Ashley Judd. M reminds me of Angela Basette in Wainting to exhale. M is basically cool and flirtatious. J is more friendly. I guess in my mind J is pretty, and M is sexy. I don't know if I could just be friends with both.

I am in a time in my life at 31 where I want to settle down in a LTR. Weither it lasts or not is not relevent at this time.

Any suggestions on how I should play it. I know that you all say go out with both. I am a person who loves physical affection. I also love talking and conecting as well. keep in mind both are in the begging stages of a relationship inwhich a friendship is not defined.
 

Abe2

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You are at an early stage with both of them. I would suggest going out with them both until you decide with whom you feel more comfortable - but I am confused - are they both from work? because if they are - and they find out you're dating them both, they might get some nasty revenge on you

For some reason, women don't like it when their guys date other girls. Go figure.
 

jazz71

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One I work with and the other is a friend's friend. She is not working with him anymore. I am taking it one day at a time. I am at a point in mylife that if things are not progressing on target in a reasonable time frame, I am going to discard the relationship.

Its hard to say who will be the one to go more long term. I just ask the universe that they treat me with respect.

Jazz71
 

Abe2

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Here's a tip: use your judgment and drive both of the relationships forward at a reasonable pace, and concentrate on meeting as many women as you can - if one of these two seems to be slowing down, it will be nice to have others going on as well. I wouldn't *discard* anything ever - unless you get a flat-out rejection.

That's what I do, anyway - until I get rejected, I pursue and pursue.

great dialogue overheard at a bar:
guy 1: "So you're quite the ladies man."
guy 2: "Naw, I just throw a lot of shit at the ceiling and some of it sticks."
guy 1: "That *is* a ladies man."
 

jst

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STAY AWAY FROM WORK RELATIONSHIPS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.....

HORRIBLE IDEA.
 

Abe2

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Disagree with Jst. A guy who does not pursue relationships at work is giving up on a social world that he's a part of for around half of his conscious life.

Relationships with immediate coworkers need to be very clearly thought about, but there's nothing wrong with a casual date - plus, a lot of these girls have hot friends.
 

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