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Astronaut or Pirate?

dfagdfsh

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I'm really trying to hammer out my career path, and I'm wondering what I should major in: Astronaut or Pirate?

I go to a top 10 university, so both programs are very good.

My minor is Ninja.
 

MetroStyles

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Originally Posted by Teger
I'm really trying to hammer out my career path, and I'm wondering what I should major in: Astronaut or Pirate? I go to a top 10 university, so both programs are very good. My minor is Ninja.
Intergalactic Pirate? Best of both worlds. Reminds me of a short story I wrote a few years ago:
"The Beginning" He held the half-smoked cigar firmly in his hand like a proud erect cock, only not at all like that because he was not a slack-jawed ******. He was... "McBain!" a gruff, moustached voice barked. McBain, snapped out of his tobacco-fueled psychotic daydream and looked across his desk to see Flannigan standing behind his clear glass door, the letters "N I A B c M" seemingly tattooed on his forehead. "Yes, you stupid ******* ******?" McBain called back teasingly. He had it with this queer, always bringing him some stupid ******* case. Always domestic abuse, or ****. "What is it this time, Flannigan?" The old veteran stepped inside the smoky office. "Look McBain, there has been another domestic assault reported in the West Side. This woman sounds like she has a good case, the guy is a total drunk!" Pretend you care, pretend you care, pretend you care, McBain repeated to himself. But he just couldn't fake it. McBain did not blink, nor did he look concerned. He only took a puff of his cigar and then threw the remainder at Flannigan's stupid moustache. "Look you old codger," he chortled, "I've seen this case a million times. The stupid ***** had it coming. Her old man was tired, came home from a long night at the pub, and his dinner was cold. What the **** do you expect to happen? And look, if you don't bring me a Chivas on the rocks right now, your gonna be next to that ***** in the battered whore shelter. Go fetch." Flannigan, glaring for a moment, backed down (that's right) and went to mix his ******* drink. McBain had more important things on his mind: The SpaceRapists of Blortex. "Any news on those galactic hole-forcers, Flanny?" "No, McBain, but I'm glad you at least care about women's rights a little bit. Those poor creatures certainly need some protection in this space-day and space-age"... McBain's lips formed into a slow, sinister smile. Little did Flannigan know that McBain wasn't planning on stopping the SpaceRapists. He was going to join them.
 

dfagdfsh

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Interesting. How will changing my major to intergalatic pirate affect my chances at joining one of the Big 5 ships? Or atleast a Vault 50 ship.
 

MetroStyles

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Originally Posted by Teger
Interesting. How will changing my major to intergalatic pirate affect my chances at joining one of the Big 5 ships? Or atleast a Vault 50 ship.

Any interest in joining the SpaceRapists? The benefits are actually pretty decent.
 

dfagdfsh

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Originally Posted by MetroStyles
Any interest in joining the SpaceRapists? The benefits are actually pretty decent.

I don't really want to work for the government
 

MetroStyles

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Well look to join a Big 5 Ship you're gonna have to make some sacrifices early on. Let's just say you'll be getting your fair share of the gravity-sleepmode shift!
laugh.gif
laugh.gif
laugh.gif
 

Mark from Plano

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Is there a Jedi program, or are they only offered in Seminaries these days?
 

dfagdfsh

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Originally Posted by Mark from Plano
Is there a Jedi program, or are they only offered in Seminaries these days?

I don't really want to spend an extra 8 years in school for a 2% bump in pay and a worthless 'membership card' that gets me free drinks at Denny's locations.
 

ysc

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Originally Posted by MetroStyles
Any interest in joining the SpaceRapists? The benefits are actually pretty decent.

Do the space rapists have good medical? I would be worried about a spaceSTD
 

dfagdfsh

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Originally Posted by youngscientist
Do the space rapists have good medical? I would be worried about a spaceSTD

It's on government health care, so while you do get pretty good coverage, there's really long wait times to see specialists. I have a friend who joined up for the low stress/low hours lifestyle, but when his daughter fell of her unicorn and broke a leg, they had to travel to the Galaga system to see a physical therapist, as the local one (2 parsecs away) was booked for months.
 

Mark from Plano

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Originally Posted by Teger
I don't really want to spend an extra 8 years in school for a 2% bump in pay and a worthless 'membership card' that gets me free drinks at Denny's locations.

You gotta admit, though, the whole "mind control" thing is pretty cool.
 

MetroStyles

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Originally Posted by Teger
It's on government health care, so while you do get pretty good coverage, there's really long wait times to see specialists. I have a friend who joined up for the low stress/low hours lifestyle, but when his daughter fell of her unicorn and broke a leg, they had to travel to the Galaga system to see a physical therapist, as the local one (2 parsecs away) was booked for months.

Light-months?
 

robin

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I rate this thread 5 stars.
 

ysc

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Originally Posted by Mark from Plano
You gotta admit, though, the whole "mind control" thing is pretty cool.
My company offer over the net dark side force power courses, $49.99 for the first instalment $89.99 after that. We accept American Express, Dinners Club and Galactic Credit Chips. Don't be fooled by overpriced Jedi Academies, FEEL THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE in 8-12 months or your money back **Pay for three installements in advance and get a lightsaber with a retail value of $399 and our extra book "Behind the Mask, Darth Vader Talks" Learn to terrorize your enemies from a real pro**
 

dfagdfsh

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Originally Posted by Mark from Plano
You gotta admit, though, the whole "mind control" thing is pretty cool.

Yea it's good until you peak into the mind of some gross edmorel-esque pervert, and instead of getting a jump in the DMV line, you get a feedback of a 4 hour snuff film.
 

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