Asking a guy on the street about his clothing...reactions?

[BigRedBike]

This is an interesting phenomena that I've recently discovered and I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same. Just to establish context, my clothing style leans towards the hipster end of the spectrum. I am 27 and have had the tight pants and hipster haircuts since I was 19 (I think it's an extension of the punk subculture that I was into back in high school...that's my theory of why I dress why I do anyway. Plus I just plain love the style). Don't get me wrong though, I just tiptoe in the hipster realm as far as clothing goes, but I'm always looking to expand and refine my style. I just never had the money for it. Anyway, on to the question. Every once in awhile in NYC I will see a guy walking down the street who is wearing shoes, a jacket, or shirt that I absolutely love (granted, usually dressing hipster-ish). I love so few things when it comes to clothing that this is a fairly rare occurrence. When this does happen I have been known to ask the guy where he bought this particular piece of clothing. 9 times out of 10 (I'm not sure I've done this even 10 times before!), the guy will say something like "My uncle gave me these shoes", or "You know, I really can't remember, sorry", or "They were a gift". In fact, I can't remember one time where they told me where they bought those incredible shoes or jacket. I don't believe I'm offensive, and I'm definitely not coming off like I'm trying to hit on them (trust me). Is talking about fashion embarrassing to most guys, even those who are stylish? Is part of style not wanting to seem like you care about it?

Has anyone else done this? What have been some of the reactions you've received?

 

[tagutcow]

Originally Posted by BigRedBike

I don't believe I'm offensive, and I'm definitely not coming off like I'm trying to hit on them (trust me).

Really? Any time a man attempts to engage me in any form of conversation that is not absolutely necessary, my default assumption is that he is a gay man hitting on me.

 

[A Fellow Linguist]

Originally Posted by BigRedBike

When this does happen I have been known to ask the guy where he bought this particular piece of clothing. 9 times out of 10 (I'm not sure I've done this even 10 times before!), the guy will say something like "My uncle gave me these shoes", or "You know, I really can't remember, sorry", or "They were a gift". In fact, I can't remember one time where they told me where they bought those incredible shoes or jacket.

Hipsters can't give away their secrets, or they will be shunned by their friends. Only if you are able to guess their name will they reveal the secrets of hipsterdom.

 

[PaulYAY]

I have positioned myself to look for labels, but I rarely come out and ask. It's pretty lame, I know.

 

[Strombollii]

Originally Posted by A Fellow Linguist

Hipsters can't give away their secrets, or they will be shunned by their friends. Only if you are able to guess their name will they reveal the secrets of hipsterdom.

Offer them PBR.

 

[KitAkira]

While I do enjoy talking to other clothes people, I don't think I'd stop someone on the street unless it was LITERALLY the best and most ballin outfit ever. But I think that's mainly because I'd be slightly annoyed if someone did the same to me unless I wasn't in a hurry or on a schedule

 

[Scoundrel]

While having lunch at Red Lobster recently, our waiter complimented me on my suit, then asked where I bought it. I simply said it was a gift (whether this is true or not isn't important here) as to deter a drawn out discussion about clothes.

Asking someone literally on the street would be inappropriate. I don't believe it has a homosexual denotation, but an uncultured one.

 

[BigRedBike]

While the responses have somewhat hurt my ego (I never thought my behavior was uncultured...and I'm usually pretty sensitive to those things), it has nonetheless taught me that I should stick to internet message boards when doing my style research. SF saves the day again. Thanks guys

 

[PaulYAY]

I don't agree with the notion that it's uncultured for young men (<30) to ask someone from the same group about a specific piece on the street, especially if it's just for the brand (as you can find out more on your own). I think what you're running into has to do more with their insecurities. What if the item costs a lot and you embarrassed him about it once finding out the price, or even asked the price right there? Most Americans shun spending much on clothing though they manage to get themselves crazily in debt with countless other needless consumptions. Or maybe it's the opposite, and he's not comfortable admitting he thrifts things, is poor, etc. just my 2 cents.

 

[Scoundrel]

I believe it's too personal a question to ask, similar to: "How much money to you make?" A response like "I don't remember" ensures one from sounding too interested in clothes (again, not a homosexual denotation, but, perhaps an unhealthy one). Of course, it's how it's said, not what's said. Good luck!

 

[darkdream]

I have had guys stare at my clothing probably trying to figure out what brand and such it was, which is more awkward than them asking about it.

 

[TintoTerra]

I like doing my own research to find clothing that suits my body and sense of style, so when someone asks me about what I'm wearing I will generally just blow them off.

 

[PaulYAY]

Originally Posted by TintoTerra

I like doing my own research to find clothing that suits my body and sense of style, so when someone asks me about what I'm wearing I will generally just blow them off.


So you blow them off because you don't want to share your research or share your style?

 

[BigRedBike]

PaulYAY and Scoundrel make a good point. The way we dress is associated with income (to a degree, not making a blanket statement by any means), not to mention that it's an outward manifestation of our personalities...both of which are very personal. I just recently purchased some expensive Alden shoes that I probably shouldn't have (my first expensive shoe purchase, and I will be eating ramen for the next month), but I would feel horribly uncomfortable discussing price with even my closest friends. That being said, if someone were to ask where I bought them, I would have no problem saying...Leffot on Christopher Street. Despite our saturated cultural display of gaudy LV purses, spinner rims and escalades, and Coach patterned shoes, we still have an aversion to discussing openly our clothing purchases. I was never looking for a clothing discussion when I asked a guy on the street about his shoes, I simply wanted to know where he bought them. Nevertheless, I completely understand how it might be a semi-uncomfortable question that may be better left unasked.

 

[Listi]

Originally Posted by Scoundrel

Asking someone literally on the street would be inappropriate. I don't believe it has a homosexual denotation, but an uncultured one.
I agree. There are definitely situations where it is okay to ask, but on the street it not one of them. I'd say in many cases, if you're at a party, event, or bar, a social area, it would likely be okay. Especially if you're already talking to the person about something else and fashion comes to be the topic more or less organically. On the street it's not always obvious whether that person is headed somewhere in a rush and stressed out or if they're having a relaxing stroll. I'd definitely be willing to rap with someone about clothes on a relaxing stroll. However, I, and I know many other people as well, are accustomed to rush to a certain degree all the time. I'd definitely consider it an annoyance, especially if it was not a clothing item I was fond of, or was either extremely cheap or extremely expensive. I would probably not mind to say what brand it was, but any other questions could quickly become infuriating... *Rushing* A: Hey what brand of jeans are those. B: Uhmm, they are RRL A: Oh! Can I buy it in Macy's in the Polo section? B: ... No A: Where do you get it? How much does it cost? B: ....... I don't know I got it as a gift.