Can this be pinned? I'll message in the mods thread... PS - re " Originally Posted by hopkins_student Last night I was having dinner with my wife and I meant to say, "please pass the bread." Instead I said, "fuck you, you stupid bitch, you've ruined my life." Oh wait, I didn't say that." You know the joke about this one? A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a deeply bruised, black eye. "Heck, what a coincidence! We both have black eyes! Mind if I ask how you got yours?" "Well," explains the man, "I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter. When I asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally blurted out "˜I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-punched me!" The man continues, "What's your story?" The other guy explains, "I was at the breakfast table and I meant to say to my wife, "˜Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,' but I accidentally said, "˜You ruined my life you stupid bitch.'"