Are you stingy?

[kennethpollock]

Are you stingy? I have noticed two types of frugal people:
(a) Completely. Often much older people who grew up in hard times and who are driven by fear of another depression. They deprive themselves of almost all pleasures to save money. Sometimes, admirably, they may be more generous with family and friends than with themselves.
(b) "Showy" stingy. They are driven by Puritanical guilt. It is bad to spend and good to save. But they can deceive themselves by saying that the showy, prestigous things that they want to buy are "investments." They typically do not like to spend much on things that they cannot show off and/or are not "permanent," such as fine dining, vacations, valet parking, long distance telephone charges, dry-cleaning, etc. In the USA, these people buy homes and do not rent, because houses are "investments" while rent is "down the drain." They often buy and hoard (do not use) things like expensive wine, jewelry, watches, clothing and cars.

 

[carlhuber]

Frugal and stingy are completely different.

 

[Violinist]

I despise stingy people.

 

[EL72]

Originally Posted by carlhuber

Frugal and stingy are completely different.

+1

I can be relatively frugal as I don't pay retail for anything (other than books and groceries) but I am not stingy, which can be interpreted as the opposite of generous.

 

[Quirk]

Frugal and relatively generous.

 

[Quirk]

Originally Posted by kennethpollock

(b) "Showy" stingy. They are driven by Puritanical guilt. It is bad to spend and good to save. But they can deceive themselves by saying that the showy, prestigous things that they want to buy are "investments." They typically do not like to spend much in things that they cannot show off and/or are not "permanent," such as fine dining, vacations, valet parking, long distance telephone charges, dry-cleaning, etc. In the USA, these people buy homes and do not rent, because houses are "investments" while rent is "down the drain." They often buy and hoard (do not use) things like expensive wine, jewelry, watches, clothing and cars.

Wait -- this is supposed to be a perverted mindset?

 

[carlhuber]

Originally Posted by Quirk

Wait -- this is supposed to be a perverted mindset?


Yeah, good question. Houses are investments.


Also, I never pay full retail on books either. There are plenty of local used bookstores that need your business. Barnes & Noble already gets enough money from soccer moms picking up Oprah's latest recommendation.

 

[redcaimen]

Stingy is how you behave toward other people. Frugal is how you behave toward yourself. Stingy is a crummy way to act, frugal is admirable. Its the difference between selfishness and self control.

 

[Ivan Kipling]

Agree with redcaimen.

 

[lee_44106]

I'm frugal overall and stingy toward those that do not deserve my generosity.

 

[Aaron]

Originally Posted by lee_44106

I'm frugal overall and stingy toward those that do not deserve my generosity.
It is often those who we think do not deserve generosity that need it the most.

a

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by redcaimen

Stingy is how you behave toward other people. Frugal is how you behave toward yourself. Stingy is a crummy way to act, frugal is admirable. Its the difference between selfishness and self control.

Well Said!

I wish I was more frugal, but I never want to be stingy.

 

[Kent Wang]

Originally Posted by carlhuber

Also, I never pay full retail on books either. There are plenty of local used bookstores that need your business. Barnes & Noble already gets enough money from soccer moms picking up Oprah's latest recommendation.
Such wastrel behavior. I only borrow books from the library.

 

[kennethpollock]

Actually, a certain French friend (banned) told me that they are the same.
I agree that frugal people can be generous, as the admirable ones mentioned in no. (a) above, but it is more common, IMO, for frugal people to be also stingy.
Those in (b) above tend to deceive themselves into thinking that they are being frugal, but they are probably not, IMO. Even though there has been a price explosion in some housing in recent years, in the long run, the stock market has done better. These types (collectors [not users] of pricey items) tend to be VERY stingy in my experience.

 

[lee_44106]

Originally Posted by Aaron

It is often those who we think do not deserve generosity that need it the most.

a


The statement makes for a nice discussion among the idealistic but has no merit in reality.