Appropriate Attire for Groom

[Tray]

Newbie here and in quandary about my wedding suit.

First, let me lay down the premises. I plan to have one custom made and to make use of it after I get married. For this reason I am going for a black business suit instead of a tux. That way I can wear it more often since I don't have lots of events to go to using a tux (its it the satin lapel that makes it a tux?). In deciding what color of tie to wear, I was told that a groom would look better if he wears a white tie on a white shirt - and distinguish himself from other guests who would wear colored ties. However, I think a white tie is for a tux.

Question: Is it fashionable to wear a white tie for a black business suit (or dark charcoal grey as some have suggested)? If not, is it possible to make the suit appear like a tux without a satin lapel?

I noticed from magazines that more and more people (celebrities even) are getting married in suits rather than a tux. Is this true?

 

[whomewhat]

I happen to totally agree with you, however, we just discussed this thoroughly in the following thread and you might want to check it out:

http://www.styleforum.net/showthread.php?t=29056

Of course, the other groom was not as specific as you were when stating that you wanted a black suit that you could then use for other occasions thereafter. While I completely agree with you, and I think if you read the other thread you will see why, I also think you will find some here who completely disagree with you.

In my case, I purchased a Kiton Super 150's Single Breasted Black Suit/Tux, where the lapels do not have the satin finish, nor do the buttons, and the slacks do not have the satin lining down the side. My Kiton slacks are, however, button fly, which is more commonly used in a tux, in my experience (I am sure others will disagree, as that seems to be the main point of this forum).

Beyond these comments, I would recommend the other thread, keeping in mind that most are going to disagree with your starting point, and mine, so don't let that throw you. In the end, dress how YOU feel most comfortable, in the look YOU like, and one that your bride obviously supports.

In general, I have always found that my clothes can truly help me to portray the image I desire in public and when I am dressed in clothes that I am comfortable with, that I like, I am far more confident in myself and it shows. When the combination is right, in the end, most people will remember that YOU looked good, not your clothes.

Just my opinion. Let the disagreement begin. Mr. Sator, if you will, please? And, congratulations.

PS The tie? I really like this one currently available at: www.pancaldities.com



Art. "Lord" Black satin evening tie, diagonally pleated through the length of the tie. $295

Pancaldi puts a gold-colored tip on some of their limited edition ties, similar in style to the corners you see on Cartier wallets, etc. I have had these duplicated to customize my own Pancaldi tie collection, in both 18K yellow gold and 18K white gold. A white gold tipped Pancaldi, such as the one above, would be spectacular. If you went with a tie like that, I would be glad to provide one of the 18K white gold tips to you as a wedding present, FREE.

 

[Sator]

Yes do check out that other thread. If you still have questions may I suggest that you answer two questions before we can help:

1. What time is the wedding being held?
2. Is the bride going to be wearing a traditional formal wedding dress or an informal dress (ie a fashion dress she could wear after the wedding)?

BTW congratulations indeed

 

[Tray]

Thanks whomewhat and sator!

I enjoyed reading the thread (including he black suit debate).

I especially liked the stroller picture sator posted. I was wondering, would that work with matching black or dark charcoal pants, white tie and a 3 button jacket?

The wedding is in the evening and the guests will be in dressed in gowns and business suits.

 

[tiger02]

Maybe it's just me, and maybe this belongs in the other thread, but I see a big disconnect in formality between gowns and business suits. I know Manton addressed it in his article, but I'm not sure that I would be comfortable in a suit if my date/wife were in a gown.

Tom

 

[Manton]

Originally Posted by tiger02

Maybe it's just me, and maybe this belongs in the other thread, but I see a big disconnect in formality between gowns and business suits. I know Manton addressed it in his article, but I'm not sure that I would be comfortable in a suit if my date/wife were in a gown.
You would look pretty darn formal in a very dark gray or blue suit, white shirt, wedding tie, flower, and black shoes. I see pictures of European weddings in which the grooms wear this and the brides wear a gown. It's not done much here, I admit, but I think it is better than a lot of the alternatives.

Another alternative: "Sweetie, is it really necessary for us to buy a dress that you will only wear once? My suit will be usable for years. Couldn't we get you some nice frock that will be wearable to parties, weddings, and other occasions down the road?"

Do let us all know the outcome of that conversation.

 

[itsstillmatt]

Originally Posted by Manton

You would look pretty darn formal in a very dark gray or blue suit, white shirt, wedding tie, flower, and black shoes. I see pictures of European weddings in which the grooms wear this and the brides wear a gown. It's not done much here, I admit, but I think it is better than a lot of the alternatives.

Another alternative: "Sweetie, is it really necessary for us to buy a dress that you will only wear once? My suit will be usable for years. Couldn't we get you some nice frock that will be wearable to parties, weddings, and other occasions down the road?"

Do let us all know the outcome of that conversation.
I think that my wife is the only young woman I know of who did not wear a "wedding" dress. She wore a very, very formal evening dress that she has never worn again, so it was of no help. I think that she wore the shoes a couple of times.

 

[Concordia]

http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/f...hlight=wedding

My $.02-- don't be totally afraid of formal or semi-formal. One can graft a pair of trousers onto a dark grey suit jacket and be turned out very nicely. [EDIT-- now that I see you're doing an evening wedding with guests in suits, forget formal. Dress as your friends will, only even better.]

But your suit idea is indeed quite appropriate, and as Manton intimated, underused. For many times, places, and social circles, it is the only good choice. Skip the black, however (there is the mother of all threads on this board about black suits), and go for a luxury fabric in dark grey or navy-- no stripes. Double-breasted would be my choice, but a 3-piece would really take the cake if your tailor did it right.

Skip the white tie, also. Manton's London Lounge thread has one line of thought. If you join the London Lounge, consider commissioning one of these ties: http://thelondonlounge.net/gl/forum/...ht=charvet+tie


Good luck, and congratulations!

 

[dah328]

Originally Posted by whomewhat

PS The tie? I really like this one currently available at: www.pancaldities.com
I feel compelled to mention, in the absence of other comments, that the ties there are unlikely to be recommended by many members here. Some of them are pretty bad and at the prices they're charging, there's no excuse for that.

 

[Jared]

Originally Posted by Concordia

now that I see you're doing an evening wedding with guests in suits, forget formal. Dress as your friends will, only even better.
In favour of equality of the genders, I don't see why the spotlight always has to be cast so brightly on the bride: why can't the groom stand out a little? Granted, it's probably best if there's a gradient from the couple-of-honour to the wedding party to the guests, but I'd like it if anyone can look at the photos and figure out who the groom is. Tuxedos, being uniforms, kind of preclude this without looking tacky, which is surely the best argument for a daytime wedding.

Originally Posted by iammatt

I think that my wife is the only young woman I know of who did not wear a "wedding" dress. She wore a very, very formal evening dress that she has never worn again, so it was of no help. I think that she wore the shoes a couple of times.
I have a friend-of-a-friend who's wearing a mid-blue frock to get married...on a Mexican beach. I offered my opinion that the groom should wear a white suit, so at least somebody's wearing white.

 

[itsstillmatt]

Originally Posted by Jared

In favour of equality of the genders, I don't see why the spotlight always has to be cast so brightly on the bride: why can't the groom stand out a little? Granted, it's probably best if there's a gradient from the couple-of-honour to the wedding party to the guests, but I'd like it if anyone can look at the photos and figure out who the groom is. Tuxedos, being uniforms, kind of preclude this without looking tacky, which is surely the best argument for a daytime wedding. I have a friend-of-a-friend who's wearing a mid-blue frock to get married...on a Mexican beach. I offered my opinion that the groom should wear a white suit, so at least somebody's wearing white.

Well my wife wore a long white ballgown, she just didn't have much use for a "wedding" dress. I will try to find a photo and post it. She will probably divorce me for that, but then I will have a chance to wear tails or something at my next wedding. FWIW, all the men were in black tie.

 

[whomewhat]

Originally Posted by dah328

I feel compelled to mention, in the absence of other comments, that the ties there are unlikely to be recommended by many members here. Some of them are pretty bad and at the prices they're charging, there's no excuse for that.

Although I will confess to having purchased two ties on the site in the past that I simply could not find on Ebay or elsewhere for a better price, I was not really suggesting that he purchase from the site, rather, just pointing out that I personally like that particular tie for a black tie occasion. Whatever tie he purchases, I would expect that he would look for the best deal, in keeping with SF tradition. That said, I did sell a rare Hermes tie on Ebay for $400 about 5 years ago (and after the auction closed, another bidder offered to pay $500 if I would sell to him and find a way out of the deal, which I did not do!), so sometimes even Ebay does not provide the best deal, necessarily.

 

[Concordia]

Originally Posted by Jared

...I'd like it if anyone can look at the photos and figure out who the groom is. Tuxedos, being uniforms, kind of preclude this without looking tacky, which is surely the best argument for a daytime wedding.




I think I've lost you here. Are you suggesting wearing evening dress in daylight? Or maybe that guests should be forbidden to dress as though they were honored guests to the occasion?

Anyway, the groom is the guy holding on to the bride. If not, there's way more trouble afoot than black tie before 6.

 

[Sator]

Originally Posted by Jared

Tuxedos, being uniforms, kind of preclude this without looking tacky, which is surely the best argument for a daytime wedding.


I too agree that wearing evening dress in the form of dinner clothes in broad daylight is the height of tackiness. Even someone as clueless as Carson Kressley still knows that. I quote from his book:

Tuxedos are worn to FORMAL events held after six o'clock in the evening. If you get an invitation to a black tie event before six, send me the names of the hosts. I'll shoot 'em an e-mail.' Or I'll just shoot 'em.

 

[Sator]

Originally Posted by tiger02

Maybe it's just me, and maybe this belongs in the other thread, but I see a big disconnect in formality between gowns and business suits. I know Manton addressed it in his article, but I'm not sure that I would be comfortable in a suit if my date/wife were in a gown.

Manton and I have argued this one out before. I tend to agree with you that a lounge suit is a bit too informal and even the best attempts at disguising this leave that disparity in formality with a wedding gown all too exposed.

That's my 2 cents worth. You know Manton's opinion. The decision is up to the groom now.