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Advice: What to tell my girlfriend

TM79

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If she's that controlling and insecure about your attire, I can't imagine what she's like when it comes to things that actually matter...


Ha, seriously. Whether or not she is one, OP made her sound like a real *****.
 

dgonsh

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I understand where you're coming from. Relationships are about compromise. While I myself am not bold enough to wear patent leather shoes I would be upset if my gf told me what I can and cannot wear. She has her opinions. Thinks my Alden Indy's look like Ronald McDonald shoes. Thinks my Navy Grenadine from Kent Wang looks boring compared to more satiny silk. Etc Etc. But at the end of the day, compromise and remember Happy Wife Happy Life. Some men here will tell you to stick to your guns and you should kick her to the curb, and while I agree that someone who admits they would be embarrassed to be seen with you is not really worth being with, I understand tempers flare in heated moments.

Skip the patents and I guarantee she'll be okay with the rest. It can't mean that much to you. You're probably with her for many great reasons beyond your headbutting on fashion choices.

My gf HATES some of my favourite ties and cap toed brogued allen edmonds shoes. things that get some major props here. She says "wear what you want. BUT I HATE that tie." and I say "thank you for your opinion. I will take it into consideration :) "
 

dgonsh

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And showing pics of more attractive men (gosling, pitt, clooney and the like) than I has never worked for any man. It just makes the woman come to grips with the fact that those men are styled professionally and can pull off virtually anything and we as mere mortals unfortunately (in their opinion) are not George Clooney and thus must skip the patent leather pumps.
 

bourbonbasted

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What? like shoes? :happy:


Not quite. A girl saying she's embarrassed by anything about me is grounds for banishment. But I suppose if you like her that's all that matters...

Personally, if my gf ever told me I could/should wear one thing and not another, I'd oblige on the condition she let me dress her. The ensuing fight would either lead to a breakup or make her realize how ridiculous she was being. Either way, problem solved.

God speed.
 

Jhors2

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Not quite. A girl saying she's embarrassed by anything about me is grounds for banishment. But I suppose if you like her that's all that matters...
Personally, if my gf ever told me I could/should wear one thing and not another, I'd oblige on the condition she let me dress her. The ensuing fight would either lead to a breakup or make her realize how ridiculous she was being. Either way, problem solved.
God speed.
I like you.
 

Craiger

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What really gets my goat is that she thinks a tux should be little more than a black business suit, and that there's something wrong with me for wanting to do it right. Actually, she think that what I want to wear is just plain wrong.

For her to have stylistic preferences that differ from mine is one thing, but for her to say that a bow tie is inappropriate and a long tie is correct is quite another thing altogether.
 
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New Shoes1

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What really gets my goat is that she thinks a tux should be little more than a black business suit, and that there's something wrong with me for wanting to do it right. I am by no means a dandy, but I have been attending black tie affairs since she was eating lunch out a little metal box with cartoons on it. For her to have stylistic preferences that differ from mine is one thing, but for her to say that a bow tie is wrong and a long tie is correct is quite another thing altogether.

Some girls believe that every guy needs a woman to help him pick out stylish clothes, and the woman does this based on what she sees every other guy wearing (good or bad). You just need to prove to her that you know what you're doing. Remind her of all your experience with black tie and point out pictures of well dressed guys dressed in what you want to wear to show her you're not crazy.
 

Willin

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Reading some of the beta-boy replies here is excruciating.

Grow a pair and wear whatever the hell you want. If she gets legitimately upset over your proper outfit then tell her to go suck an egg.
 

Thomas

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I understand where you're coming from. Relationships are about compromise. While I myself am not bold enough to wear patent leather shoes I would be upset if my gf told me what I can and cannot wear. She has her opinions. Thinks my Alden Indy's look like Ronald McDonald shoes. Thinks my Navy Grenadine from Kent Wang looks boring compared to more satiny silk. Etc Etc. But at the end of the day, compromise and remember Happy Wife Happy Life. (...)


This is true, but what if she's never happy? As in, not a happy person in general?

What really gets my goat is that she thinks a tux should be little more than a black business suit, and that there's something wrong with me for wanting to do it right. Actually, she think that what I want to wear is just plain wrong.
For her to have stylistic preferences that differ from mine is one thing, but for her to say that a bow tie is inappropriate and a long tie is correct is quite another thing altogether.


Look, women understand fashion. They follow the trends, the latest-and-greatest, the new colors, and what everyone is wearing this season. There's nothing wrong with that, but this board in particular is more towards timeless style, clothes we're not going to cringe and send to Goodwill in three years' time. Now, granted, even style changes and clothes that were once commonplace have become costume (spats, anyone?) but for the most part we're not up for getting new suits and ties in a few years. Too much work.

When our foreign exchange student went to his prom, he did the rented tux thing and they provided a long tie. He was okay with it, but I pulled out a black bow tie, tied it for him, and he went with it - said he looked like James Bond. The rest of his group went with colorful vests and long ties (ooh, shiny!) but he stuck to the bow tie. I think he liked the idea of untying it later in the evening, but whatever works for you.
 

Zauberer

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Good God, if it was a problem every time my girlfriend didn't know what the hell she was talking about, I'd be sailing nothing but stormy seas. As it is, things are mostly alright.

What the OP's girlfriend is recommending isn't really black tie. If 'most people' are dressing like what she wants, then the OP and his gf aren't attending real black tie functions. So don't worry about it. Leave the tux and all in the closet. Wear a navy solid suit (with some mohair would be nice) a white shirt, dark shiny tie, black calf oxfords and call it an evening. Then treat the evening as reconnaisance. If it's true that hardly anyone else is wearing a tux then you're cool as cabbage. If not, then point this fact out to your girlfriend and head to the bar. Wear your tux the next time, and wear it the way you want it.


.
 

TM79

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Reading some of the beta-boy replies here is excruciating.
Grow a pair and wear whatever the hell you want. If she gets legitimately upset over your proper outfit then tell her to go suck an egg.
Yep. Let's talk about feelings.

How about let's not. Doubt I'd ever be with someone who felt the need to flap her beak over what outfit I decide to wear.
 

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