Advice for the groom

[BrandNewbian]

Merry Xmas everyone!

Hoping for some good style advice for me, the groom. I basically have no style sense and I want to put something together that I can look back on and feel good about. I'll try to provide pertinent info below.

5'6" 137-140 lbs (luckily most of it is on my face and gut)
Wedding date January 22 2011
Wedding is casual. Quick ceremony at our Buddhist temple and then a cocktail reception.
I live in California ( bay area near Oakland)
Wearing charcoal 2 button suit (only suit I own) w ivory tie
Black dress shoes
Recently unemployed so I'm on a tight budget

So here are my questions:

White MTM french cuff shirt? Blessed with short arms as well. Where can I get one in a short time. I looked at mytailor.com and needed advice on all the options available or a better place to get this done.

Cuff links? recommendations on style or type?

tie bar?

Am I always suppose to wear the top button buttoned?

Pocket square. match the tie? what fold would look nice

boutonneire (sp?) suggestions. type of flower

Belt? I dont have a decent one. cheap recommendations?

Any grooming tips?

Thanks in advance!

 

[AlphaAndTheOmega]

Doesn't the bride have something in mind? Just go with w/e she says since its her wedding.

 

[Recoil]

I think a tie bar is too informal for a wedding. Here was my simple outfit for my wedding this past August.

Linnen pocket square.
Sam Hober wedding tie.
Simple metal cuff links.
Black suit.
White RL shirt.

 

[BrandNewbian]

Originally Posted by AlphaAndTheOmega

Doesn't the bride have something in mind? Just go with w/e she says since its her wedding.

she's stressed out because she still doesn't have a dress.

 

[AlmostSmart]

Originally Posted by BrandNewbian

she's stressed out because she still doesn't have a dress.

I've PM'd you.

 

[BrandNewbian]

Originally Posted by LVoer

I think a tie bar is too informal for a wedding. Here was my simple outfit for my wedding this past August.

Linnen pocket square.
Sam Hober wedding tie.
Simple metal cuff links.
Black suit.
White RL shirt.

looks sharp!

 

[BdeRWest]

Originally Posted by BrandNewbian

White MTM french cuff shirt? Blessed with short arms as well. Where can I get one in a short time. I looked at mytailor.com and needed advice on all the options available or a better place to get this done. Cuff links? recommendations on style or type? tie bar? Am I always suppose to wear the top button buttoned? Pocket square. match the tie? what fold would look nice boutonneire (sp?) suggestions. type of flower Belt? I dont have a decent one. cheap recommendations? Any grooming tips? Thanks in advance!
I may me mistaken, but a good option for a shirt might be to buy a formal shirt from Brooks Bros., etc. and have a tailor take up the sleeves for you. However, if you're set on MTM (which is fine), I have no experience in that area. Your cuff links should be simple so that you can wear them to myriad formal events and never worry about them looking out of place or off. The ones I wore to my wedding were mother-of-pearl, but I daresay you can be more adventurous than that. I think a wedding is a little more formal than the silk knots, but if you (or your fiancÃ

e) like them, hey, it's your (her

) wedding! I agree, a tie bar is a bit informal for a wedding. Wear all your shirt buttons buttoned, it's what they're for!

But a pocket square is easier to wax on about. It shouldn't match your tie, but it shouldn't clash with it either. Since you've decided on an Ivory tie and a charcoal suit, it can really be any color you want, but you might want to have it play off the colors of the flowers, etc. For a wedding, I wouldn't do anything fancy with it like a puff. Just fold it in half, half again and then in thirds, and either put the tips at the top or the crease at the top, depending on your preference or the design of the square. A great option is to check eBay for Hermes, etc., squares. You can often find whimsically patterned second-hand ones there. Or you could go with a white or ivory linen pocket square. Carnations are the classic wedding boutonnière, if I'm not mistaken. A white one would look smashing with a charcoal suit. Grooming-wise, go to a barber and get a nice shave before the wedding. Treat yourself to it. It's a nice way to remind yourself this is something very special.

 

[ktrp]

A tie bar might be informal for a formal wedding.

You should do what you and your fiance like, and enjoy it.

Since you asked for advice, I'll lob mine out.

What you wear to your wedding is not really meant to be some sort of strange dress-up costume, although it has become that more and more.

Traditionally, a formal evening wedding would have been tailcoat and white tie. A formal daytime wedding would have been morning suit. An informal evening wedding would have been black tie (tuxedo). An informal daytime wedding would have been blue or grey suits.

The groom would have been dressed in the same way as all of the other men in attendance.

My father wore a morning suit, but many of my uncles wore suits for their weddings. Not tuxedos. Most of them were late morning weddings, followed by a luncheon, so a tuxedo would have been inappropriate.

I guess what I'm circling around is this: you do not need to do any strange sort of nods to formal evening wear unless you _want_ to. Wearing a grey suit with a pale blue or white shirt and a tie that suits you and the suit well is a perfectly normal, reasonable and traditional thing to do for a relatively casual wedding. I do not think you will regret wearing it. You are more likely to regret some shoddy piece of pseudo-formal wear inserted awkwardly into your getup.

I like pocket squares, but square + bout. might look busy. I'd wear a flower. Its your wedding day.

I'm not sure what your 'button' question was about. If you are wearing a tie, all shirt buttons should be done up. On your jacket, the lower button should remain open, the upper button I'd keep buttoned up at least through the ceremony.

 

[SuitMyself]

Originally Posted by BrandNewbian

Merry Xmas everyone!

Hoping for some good style advice for me, the groom.


Here's the best advice you can ever expect to receive: DO NOT GET MARRIED.

 

[BrandNewbian]

Nice! I have a brooks brothers near by so I'll stop in. They can probably steer me in the right direction.

I should have been more clear about the buttons. I actually meant the top button of the jacket but ktrp fielded that one.

Thanks for the advice guys much appreciated!

 

[lasbar]

Originally Posted by BrandNewbian

looks sharp!

A Hand in your trousers pocket is not Sf approved..

 

[ter1413]

Originally Posted by BrandNewbian

she's stressed out because she still doesn't have a dress.

and yu 2 are getting married in appr 3 weeks!! ditch her. a woman who can't get her ish 2gether is 'suspect!" don't do it bro..

 

[Annadale]

Originally Posted by SuitMyself

Here's the best advice you can ever expect to receive: DO NOT GET MARRIED.

+1!!!

 

[ter1413]

Originally Posted by BrandNewbian

she's stressed out because she still doesn't have a dress.

and she should be stressed....no dress....you have nada to wear...and the wedding is 3 weeks away....and people are expected to give gifts right after xmas??? DITCH HER!! bad choices...

 

[BrandNewbian]

Not asking if I should get marred. I'm marrying her no matter how I'm dressed. I just wanted to look the part.

And the reason for the rush is more for my dad who is not doing so great lately.... Not that you need to know. We set the date in October and worked to get everything together in a pretty short time. I love her and our two kids.