Acquiring speech, wit and charm. Improving the effect of written work, letters.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GrayDorian, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. GrayDorian

    GrayDorian Member

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    Hello.

    This is my first post on the sf and I must say my decision to join is based wholeheartedly on the calibre of its members.

    In that spirit, this thread is really a question directed to you (members of sf). I wish for you to help me - if that is not too much to ask.

    Some background: I undertook several scientific subjects throughout highschool, relinquishing all "humanities" in the final two years with the aim of getting into Oxbridge (Oxford and Cambridge - I wish to retain my anonymity). I was successful and read Mathematics. Perhaps I should have predicted the next three years involved the sole devotion to bland texts coupled with non challenging and rarely stimulating conversation. It dawned on me that almost six years of science and mathematics had created a void in a particularly important aspect of my life. My ability to be charming, effectively communicate, clearly articulate and effortlessly convince was simply non existent.

    I wish to learn or recover such skills and am asking - in all generality - how one might do such a thing.

    I spend time on the misc (a section on a bodybuilding site) as I (currently) undertake training for Olympic lifting and stumbled there. It is possibly having negative effects on me however as the language structure and memes severely lower the acceptable level of written text. I also wish to inquire if this is minor or major and will exposure to poor quality material negatively impact me in the long term?

    Thankyou kindly.
     


  2. Sir Humphrey Appleby

    Sir Humphrey Appleby Senior member

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    I wish you'd said which university you went to so I could narrow it down to one of 10,000 plus people :brick:
     


  3. Vaio

    Vaio Senior member

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    if you're asking how to acquire social skills, start by going outside and talking to people.
     


  4. GrayDorian

    GrayDorian Member

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    Cn't tell if srs.

    I probably talk to 60 strangers every day for my job, which is basically maintaing bikes and leasing them fir the day.

    However it isn't doing much - I feel like I'm not improving and have "peaked" w.r.t social interaction.
     


  5. hoozah

    hoozah Senior member

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    What are your interests? Try and integrate yourself into a sub-community of people who share the same interests, so you have something to talk about. To me, "getting in" is the hard part, but once you're accepted into a community of people, everything else is downhill.
     


  6. Blackhood

    Blackhood Senior member

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    Go to Toastmasters, there are clubs in both Oxford and Cambridge and their mission statement is explicitly to aid in the development of confidence in oratory, conversation and develop effective communication. Very friendly bunch and it can do a great deal for you.
     


  7. Nereis

    Nereis Senior member

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    Start by tailoring your language to your situation. You're writing with asides that read a bit oddly outside of a Charles Dickens book.

    97% of communication is non-verbal. Focus less on what you say than on how you say it. Take up a job that forces you to hard pitch and sell to keep you alive. Nothing like the prospect of starving that forces you to learn fast.
     


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