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absolute worst possible names

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by globetrotter, May 14, 2008.

  1. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    My best friend when I was a little kid was named Buford.

    And before anyone gets all prissy, I wasn't raised in Dixie.
     
  2. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?

    LOL.

    .....

    My aunt is a teacher who specializes in ESL, so she gets a lot of immigrants. At the beginning of a new year she's scanning the roster of names and spots an odd one. Chaphuc. She sounds it our, her eyes widen and she thinks, oh dear (she simply cannot swear).

    Classtime rolls around, and she's calling the roll. She comes up to the name and pronounces it "cha-Fook". A little girl in the back of the class giggles and corrects her: "hee hee hee, it's cha-Fuck". My aunt blanches. She recovers nicely though and tells her it's a beautiful name but she'll never be able to porounce it correctly, would she mind sticking with cha-Fook? The child is new to the country and fairly docile, so she goes along with it.

    But no one tells the rest of her teachers that day, and my aunt went and listened outside a few doors to hear how Chaphuc's other teachers handled it. And she giggled, just a little bit.
     
  3. dave

    dave Senior member

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    At least it is a no-brainer what the kid names his penis.


    little big horn?
     
  4. evilgeniusdan

    evilgeniusdan Senior member

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    My father told me a story.. One of his friends was walking in a park in Berkeley(?) and he stopped to chat with a young woman pushing her baby in a stroller. He asked the woman what her baby's name was. "Tuna Fish" He asked her why she would name her baby Tuna Fish. She replied "Because he's a boy" I think this would have took place in the late 60s, which might serve as an explanation.
     
  5. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    Remember the basketball player from Providence in the 90's named God Shamgod?
     
  6. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    NY times bad name contest. The comments on this blog entry have some AMAZINGLY bad names. like Dick Swett

    http://tinyurl.com/58m3yp


    Some of those names are priceless:

    -Iona Knipl
    -Ima Hogg
    -Shanda Lear
    -Michele Lynn (daughter of a mechanic!)
    -Chastity Beltz
    -Justin Credible

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Fade to Black

    Fade to Black Senior member

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    Justin Credible is the stage name of a wrestler.

    Michelle Lynn is actually kinda hot sounding...maybe a bit dated though it sounds very 80's.
     
  8. Pilot

    Pilot Senior member

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    2 brothers that went to a school in my town were named lemonjello (la mon jello) and orangjello ( oh ron jello). true story.
     
  9. HORNS

    HORNS Senior member

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    2 brothers that went to a school in my town were named lemonjello (la mon jello) and orangjello ( oh ron jello). true story.

    Let me just say that I've heard at least 15-20 people say that they new kids named these two names, or they worked in the hospital when these two kids were born, or knew the mother who named them, etc. True Story.
     
  10. X-It

    X-It Senior member

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    I gotta say, there's nothing strange about Hazel. It used to be very common. And I like some of these older names that have fallen out of favor.

    Ashley and Kelly for guys are also good names. The "hur hur you've got a girl's name" sort of comments are mystifying.


    and I've heard that Female/Fe-mal-ey story many times in different settings. I'm pretty sure it's urban legend.


    b


    You're right. There's nothing strange about Hazel. I've never heard that before here in Netherlands nor in other part of Europe countries.

    Hazel is a name conferred upon a girl. The name is pronounced as "HAY-zel." The word is derived from the Old English "haesel," with reference to the light brown tree. The word has 4 variant forms: Hazal, Hazell, Hazle, and Hazelle.

    Thank you. I learn something new from you.
     
  11. TheIdler

    TheIdler Senior member

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    People I've actually known:
    Zephyr
    Adelgunde (named after her German great-grandmother or something)
    Summa Raine (spelled just like that, child of filthy hippies whose 'names' I've forgotten)

    My gf's friend's husband, who is an idiot, wanted to name their son either Neo, after the guy in the Matrix, or Nike, after the shoes he likes to run in, but pronounced to rhyme with Mike.

    A lot of Spanish names are just odd to me when I translate them into English: Dolores (Pains), Pilar (Pillar), and combos like Maria Jose (Mary Joseph). I'm sure some English names sound weird when translated, too.

    Obligatory urban legend: I heard about a woman who gave birth and overheard the nurses saying a word which was so beautiful that she insisted on giving the child the name: Placentia.
     
  12. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

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    My gf's friend's husband, who is an idiot, wanted to name their son either Neo, after the guy in the Matrix, or Nike, after the shoes he likes to run in, but pronounced to rhyme with Mike.

    Of course, Nike being the Greek goddess of victory, right? Goddess. Not god.
     
  13. TheIdler

    TheIdler Senior member

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    Except that I pointed that out to him, and he wasn't even aware that it ever referred to a goddess.
     
  14. Concordia

    Concordia Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    The scene in A Fish Called Wanda is good when the hot chick says her brother Otto was confused when he heard about a posh girl named Portia. "Why would her parents ever name someone after a car?"
     
  15. hermes

    hermes Senior member

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    actual people i've run across:

    harry toews
    harry dyck
    donna rhea
    horst schmidt

    (trying saying horst schmidt fast and you'll get the idea)
     
  16. Brad

    Brad Senior member

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    I dated a girl for a while that was a NNICU nurse. She said a little girl's mother saw "female" written on the side of those little tub things they keep the premature babies in and decided to call the girl "Female," pronounced Fuh-mahl-ee. I couldn't make this up.

    Also, I went to HS with a kid named Bud Wiser. Poor bastard.
     
  17. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Senior member

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    Working in the area of public benefits fraud, I see some really great ones -
    Tae Kwon Da
    Dacquiritie's
    Zheikilivious
    Taqueavious

    Also, a kid at my law school was named Titan Steele, and I have two friends that are both named Jim Beam. One goes by James though.

    Also recall two brothers in the armed forces around WWII named Segregation and States Rights.

    When I lived in North Dakota, my first day on the job I was puzzled why everyone called this younger guy "The Colonel". Found out later his last name was Decker. You had to watch The A-Team to get it.
     
  18. SantosLHalper

    SantosLHalper Senior member

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  19. somecallmebj

    somecallmebj Senior member

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    The first name that popped into my head when I read the title was Adolf.

    Coincidentally, my sister living in Germany is looking for name suggestions for her son. Hmm. . .
     
  20. thinman

    thinman Senior member

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    Amanda Lynn. Say it fast and if you're a musician, you'll get it.
     

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