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absolute worst possible names

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by globetrotter, May 14, 2008.

  1. stickonatree

    stickonatree Senior member

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    ya'll are softcore. apparently you've never seen THIS: 10 Worst Baby Names of 2007 What were these parents thinking? The Nest Baby Editors advertisement People like to get creative when it comes to selecting the perfect name for their new arrivals. But in the quest to be unique, some kids get stuck with monikers that do more than make them stand out in a crowd. Here's The Nest Baby's picks for the most questionable choices from the past year. More from The Nest Baby Ptolemy: The only other one we know of is an ancient Greek astronomer, mathematician, and man extraordinaire. Actress Gretchen Mol reached a little too far back in history for this Mediterranean-inspired choice. No one will be able to pronounce it, and what happens when the kid studies his namesake in school? Ashby: If a name's going to start with "Ash" and end in a "y", there's just no question -- the middle's got to be "le." If you must mess with Ashley -– or any common name, for that matter -- please pick something that doesn't sound like a mispronunciation of the real thing. Come kindergarten, Nancy O'Dell's daughter is going to have a lot of correcting to do. E-: E...what? You'd think if you had to name your kid after a letter, Jay would be much better than this one, which was selected by parents in Washington. And while we're (grudgingly) willing to accept the use of apostrophes in baby names, we can't say the same for the hyphen. At least not when there isn't any more name to follow it. Story: Actress Jenna Elfman's pick. It just doesn't make sense and certainly won't start a literary trend. Article, Essay, or Narrative, anyone? Every baby has a tale to tell, just not this way. Ever: This is an adverb, not even an adjective or a noun, which do okay as names if you're in a pinch. It's going to get confusing when actress mom Milla Jovovich scolds the kid, "Ever, don't ever do that again!" Heaven Rain: The only good news here: Brooke Burke's two older daughters are named Neriah and Sierra Sky. Though little Heaven's got a pretty lofty title to live up to, she'll fit right in at home. Alabama: The trend of naming kids after locations obviously appealed to actress Drea De Matteo, but she's not even from the Southern state. We do hope she's going to be called Allie for short and turns out to be good at geography. Princess: Every little girl is a princess to her parents, but it's a secret nickname. It's also a good name for a little fluffy white dog. Prince pulls off the male version because he's a rock star, but this baby, daughter of model Jordan, is set to be spoiled. (Don't get us started on Tiaamii, her middle name,...) Evan: Don't go ballistic: Evan is a great name...for a boy. We know many wonderful Evans. But in this case, Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder bestowed it on his baby girl. Sorry, it's so not unisex. Superman: No explanation necessary for why this New Zealand name made the list, but how about the story behind it? The parents' first choice was 4Real (as in, "when we saw him on the ultrasound, we realized he was for real"), but government officials didn't go for it. Mom and dad settled on Superman but insist they'll still refer to him as 4Real. Way to get the last word in. http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandpa...mentid=6359418
     
  2. thinman

    thinman Senior member

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    Knew a guy named Lovejoy. A friend said she hopes he names his daughter "Faith Hope".

    On the other hand,one of the all-time best names is a college baseball player named Rebel Riddling. Great name for an athlete.
     
  3. Jumbie

    Jumbie Senior member

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    There's a guy in my class that I was introduced to as Chris.

    I later learned that his full name is Christian Killer.

    The best part is that in one year when we graduate, he is going to be Dr. Killer.

    Bwahahah, I think he'd better change his name.
     
  4. teddieriley

    teddieriley Senior member

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    Wait, you smell that?
    A teacher friend of mine said she had fraternal twins in her Kindergarten class. One was named "Molly" and the other was "Fomolly." But there names were spelled "Male" and "Female." Apparently the mother (an immigrant not familiar with english) was given the birth certificates/forms (or whatever it is they give you at the hospital) and saw the words "male" and "female" and she just copied them over into the "Name" section.

    Another student of hers was name "ushmael." He was named after the name the mom saw on the side of a truck. Turns out it was "U.S. Mail."

    I shit you not. You can't make this stuff up.
     
  5. GoSurface

    GoSurface Senior member

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    Mine when I was growing up.
     
  6. Bird's One View

    Bird's One View Senior member

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    At least it is a no-brainer what the kid names his penis.

    I can think of several options; my favorite is "the Colonel". What did you have in mind?
     
  7. Jenaimarr

    Jenaimarr Senior member

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    Most celebrity baby names ie:
    Apple - Daughter of Gwenyth Paltrow/Chris Martin
    Pilot Inspektor - Son of Jason Lee
    Harley Quinn - Daughter of Kevin Smith named after the batman comic character (I actually think this is a really cool name)

    I knew some kids in elementary school with totally f-d up names:
    - black kid named l'monjelo... or "lemon jello"
    - chinese kid named Omega... brother named Genesis
    - My poor poor baby cousin... named Egbert (despite my protests). He's in for an ass kicking come elementary/middle/high school.

    Chinese parents are probably the worst at choosing english names for their kids. Both me and my sister were named after the president at the time (Carter administration for me, Reagan for her). I sure am glad I wasn't born during the LBJ years.
     
  8. datasupa

    datasupa Senior member

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    Jermaine Jackson's son: Jermajesty
     
  9. Arethusa

    Arethusa Senior member

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    I sometimes think it should be illegal to name your kid anything outside a certain range of non-detrimental names... but I guess it's just more natural selection. I wonder if a study has been done to say whether people with non-"normal" (for their society/culture) names generally do worse in life. I would have to guess, on average, a kid named John will do better than a kid named something that begs to be ripped on.
    Part of Freakonomics is sort of about this.
    At least it is a no-brainer what the kid names his penis.
    Tecumseh?
     
  10. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    I like the eccentric, sexually ambiguous names that the British used to give their children--Osbert, Vyvyan, Sacheverell, Llewellyn.
     
  11. fegidero

    fegidero Member

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    I know some people wit some pretty messed up names...

    Greener
    Paladin
    twins named ashley and kelly (and theyre guys LMAO)
    Beans

    and yes these are their actual given names.
     
  12. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    Ashley and Kelly are both known as epicene names, that is unisex.
     
  13. minus

    minus Senior member

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    I did know a pair of brothers named Chris and Drew Peacock. Not "Christopher" and not "Andrew", just "Chris Peacock" and "Drew Peacock" were their full names. (If it's not registering, say the names out loud and imagine the scene at attendance on the first day of seventh-grade. Poor bastards.)
     
  14. chorse123

    chorse123 Senior member

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    The father of a friend in highschool was named Richard Ball. He sometimes went by Dick.

    On the other end, a good friend of mine is about to become Dr. Richman.
     
  15. IUtoSLU

    IUtoSLU Senior member

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    I have one that tops every name mentioned. But I have to preface it first.

    In the small villages of Guatemala, the Maya indians are obviously not educated but try to name their children after famous people. I was at the baptism of a boy named:

    Hitler Billy-Graham (I forget the last name).

    I'm not even joking. I just wanted to jump up there and tell them to change it, but theres really nothing a person can do in that situation.
     
  16. GoSurface

    GoSurface Senior member

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    I have one that tops every name mentioned. But I have to preface it first.

    In the small villages of Guatemala, the Maya indians are obviously not educated but try to name their children after famous people. I was at the baptism of a boy named:

    Hitler Billy-Graham (I forget the last name).

    I'm not even joking. I just wanted to jump up there and tell them to change it, but theres really nothing a person can do in that situation.


    Try having the same name as this lady:

    [​IMG]
     
  17. LabelKing

    LabelKing Senior member

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    I have one that tops every name mentioned. But I have to preface it first.

    In the small villages of Guatemala, the Maya indians are obviously not educated but try to name their children after famous people. I was at the baptism of a boy named:

    Hitler Billy-Graham (I forget the last name).

    I'm not even joking. I just wanted to jump up there and tell them to change it, but theres really nothing a person can do in that situation.


    One imagines there is a lot of comic potential in that.
     
  18. Liberty Ship

    Liberty Ship Senior member

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    Well...I was on an Airtran flight last year and when the introduced the cabin crew, one poor stewardess was named, "LaTrina."

    It was right after the head stewardess had indicated where the restrooms were.
     
  19. hi-val

    hi-val Senior member

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    I saw a kid in the paper named Anakin. I felt a mixture of pity for him and anger at his parents for thinking that was an appropriate name for their child.
     
  20. Tokyo Slim

    Tokyo Slim Senior member

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    I am 100% against the name "Gaylord".

    J, what about Dick Force? (He works at Tacoma Screw [​IMG] )
     

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