a humorous extract of an email to my mother

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GQgeek, Mar 18, 2011.

  1. sofaking9000

    sofaking9000 Well-Known Member

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    She's close to 60, though i'm not sure her exact age [​IMG] I'm the oldest. Believe it or not, I'm the only one she kinda listens to because I'm the only one that's consistently level-headed and rational, but that doesn't stop her from completely disregarding everything I say.

    My dad wants nothing to do with her, to the point where he's willing to let the bank foreclose on a house as long as he doesn't have to deal with her. It'll make the divorce nice and easy to finalize, which he's been trying to do since 2002 or 2003. They've been separated since the 90s. She cost him millions (his entire life's work) when the hotel went bankrupt. It was his fault as well for not being more forceful with her and not lawyering up before things came to a head with the gov't, but he was playing nice because we the kids were still in the picture and it cost him everything (he lost the other 2 kids anyway; I'm the only one that speaks to him). Ultimately she usurped control and kept information from him while he lived in a different city to supplement family income (hotel was on an aggressive mortgage repayment schedule) so his options were limited if he wanted to maintain relative peace for our sake.

    Someone mentioned snotty teenagers.... She is one. She's 60 or 65 (can never remember what year she was born) and she behaves exactly like a teenager. She was kicked out of her parents house last year. My siblings don't talk to her at all. She has tantrums and won't talk. I constantly have to intervene on her behalf with the rest of the family (though to be fair her sisters are kinda bitches). I'm a part-time mediator b/c of this and was for the divorce too - I had to diffuse her delusions about my father's hidden wealth.

    When you tell her something she doesn't want to hear, she ignores it, no matter who it comes from. That doesn't stop her from asking for money after she's contravened your advice and suffers the consequences. I don't know how many times i've had to pay bailiffs for her. The only reason i continue to do it is because if she loses the grand piano then she loses something essential to being able to earn a living.

    None of this is new behavior that's the resultant of the onset of old age. She thinks only about how things affect her (my father's principal complain from the marriage), and always has. She used to leave me overnight at school to find a place to sleep. It happened so often my physics prof found out and gave me free residence (it helped i was his best student so he could call it a scholarship). Yeah, great parenting there...

    There are myriad reasons why I'm not close to her. I'm long over them, but we will never be close, and i'm fine with that at this point. That said, I don't want to see her live in poverty either, and I try to encourage her on positive things, like starting to teach piano again, keeping her from losing it to bailiffs, getting settled in a new city, but this shit is plain dumb and i'm not going to sugarcoat it to spare her feelings. This is her 3rd time bringing this up, and I shot it down nicely the past two times.If it's not this it'll be something else b/c she keeps looking for things that amount to being get rich quick schemes to make everything OK.

    I'm at a loss as to how i should deal with her. She's a total disaster. I'm actually telling my grandparents to put her inheritance into an annuity or something so she can't piss it away all at once, because given the chance, she will.


    Feel your pain bro, my parents are worse [​IMG]
     


  2. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Having a Ball

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    I find it very sad that you have such a poor opinion of your own mother, that you respect her so little as to speak to her like she was a piece of dirt, and mostly that you find treating your mother like shit to be humorous.
     


  3. teddieriley

    teddieriley Senior member

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    Wait, you smell that?
    I don't see why you just couldn't respond to your "mom" with, thanks, but no thanks. This is a definite money-losing proposition. How's the crazy house?
     


  4. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    I look forward to you pasting in your mother's reply Geek....
     


  5. Eason

    Eason Bicurious Racist

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    Unless you're in a situation certainly worse than GQgeeks, I wouldn't judge him on how he talks to his biological mother.

    Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.
     


  6. GQgeek

    GQgeek Senior member

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    Feel your pain bro, my parents are worse [​IMG]
    Not trying to start a competition here... There's no doubt people could do worse than my mother. My dad is awesome though. And kwilk, i'm not generally mean-spirited towards her, but her "business proposal" was fucking stupid and irritated the hell out of me. She's got to stop living in fantasy-land at the expense of others. The fact that i'm the only one that still talks to her in her entire family is probably saying that maybe it's not me. Her entire family wants as little to do with her as possible. Her own mother asked her to leave and that woman is a devout "love the sinner" type catholic that's basically a saint. Her brother is worth somewhere between 50-100mil at this point and even he won't toss her a bone because she's made an enemy of him, and he's pretty much the epitome of a good family man. Giving her a couple hundred K would be nothing to him, but he can't stand her anymore. The email is still sitting incomplete in "drafts" so maybe i'll make it a bit less harsh, since even globe think's it's too much (and he's the only one with relevant experience here afaik), but the general message will be the same. She's got to see her idea for what it really is. It's straight-up gambling, degen style, and she's basically misrepresenting the risks to her children so that they'll help her out. And unless you're a banker or otherwise in the top 1%, not small risks, but 45k + a mortgage. If it was just me, I could just say no and make up some excuse, but she'll piss away her inheritance in a year's time. My grandparents are aware of the risk but im not sure how bulletproof they'll make their will... Sorry, i don't see how i could possibly respect her anymore. Think what you want of me, but the sad part is that she won't learn. The humorous part referenced in the title are her horrendous math skills, not any part of the situation itself. I certainly don't find that funny.
     


  7. spb_lady

    spb_lady Senior member

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    children should never be arrogant to their parents. you can not love them, but you should respect them. they gave you the best one can give to another - life. and you will never be able to give them back as much as this.

    i wish you more patience with your mother.
     


  8. mm84321

    mm84321 Senior member

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    Sorry, i don't see how i could possibly respect her anymore.
    Respect her for giving you life, regardless of all else.
     


  9. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    I don't see why you just couldn't respond to your "mom" with, thanks, but no thanks. This is a definite money-losing proposition. How's the crazy house?

    exactly what i was thinking!!!
     


  10. Matt

    Matt [email protected]

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    Never judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

    in that case, I will start my judgments with aportnoy
     


  11. aj_del

    aj_del Senior member

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    I think respect for parents decreased with age with the children not relaizing what the parent has put in / put up with for their children.

    Seeing the pure selfless love that my wife has for my son, I would be super pissed if he ever talked to her this way, regardless of the stupidity of business proposal.
     


  12. Thomas

    Thomas Senior member

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    man, Geek, I know it's a full moon and all, but that reads like a bad CE post. I don't see why you felt the need to lord it over (or pwn) your mom like that, and I really don't see any humor in it. I understand you and her have bad history, but you're turning the bad history into the bad present and a bad future. Maybe you're just frustrated, fine. But, that said, if this is how you deal with her now, then you can expect this to be the pattern for the future.
     


  13. ter1413

    ter1413 Senior member

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    man, Geek, I know it's a full moon and all, but that reads like a bad CE post. I don't see why you felt the need to lord it over (or pwn) your mom like that, and I really don't see any humor in it. I understand you and her have bad history, but you're turning the bad history into the bad present and a bad future. Maybe you're just frustrated, fine. But, that said, if this is how you deal with her now, then you can expect this to be the pattern for the future.

    +1
     


  14. JayJay

    JayJay Senior member

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    I can sort of understand sharing this with your siblings or other close family members for their advice or input, but not a public forum. It's unseemly and disrespectful, regardless of how terrible the situation may be.
     


  15. Teger

    Teger Senior member

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    gqgeek you are an annoying douchebag who talks to his mother like a 5 year old. i promise you my mother is infinitely worse than yours and i talk to her with far more respect.
     


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