A dress code on airplanes

[Taliesin]

I thought this N.Y. Times article was interesting. Â It would appear that the D.H.S. hasn't gotten word on quite how badly people dress on airplanes: July 15, 2004 Air Marshals Say Dress Code Makes Them Stand Out By BRIAN WINGFIELD WASHINGTON, July 15 "” Beards are out. So are jeans and athletic shoes. Suit coats are in, even on the steamiest summer days. That dress code, imposed by the Department of Homeland Security, makes federal air marshals uneasy "” and not just because casual clothes are more comfortable in cramped airline seats. The marshals fear that their appearance makes it easier for terrorists to identify them, according to a professional group representing more than 1,300 air marshals. "If a 12-year-old can pick them out, a trained terrorist has no problem picking them out," said John D. Amat, a spokesman for the Federal Law Enforcement Officers Association. Documents and memos issued by the Department of Homeland Security and field offices of the Federal Air Marshal Service say marshals must "present a professional image" and "blend unnoticed into their environment." Some air marshals have argued that the two requirements are contradictory. Federal air marshals must have neatly trimmed hair, and men must be clean-shaven, the documents say. Some of the service's 21 field offices have mandated that male officers wear suits, ties and dress shoes while on duty, even in summer heat. Women are required to wear blouses and skirts or dress slacks. Jeans, athletic shoes and non-collared shirts are prohibited........ Rest of the article (registration required) is here

 

[banksmiranda]

What they should allow is whatever the hell the air marshals think is appropriate. If the flight is to Hawaii, maybe a Hawaiian shirt is in order. In fact, it might be good to have some "out there" types who seem highly unlikely to be air marshals. Perhaps some could aim for the Jeff Spiccoli look from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

 

[faustian bargain]

"duuude. drop yer weapon or things're gonna get gnarly."

 

[marc237]

Very funny.

Now I am a little worried.  I usually fly with at least a sport coat, dress shoes, and clean-cut look.  Maybe I should dress more like the guy in the row next to me on my last flight - cargo shorts, wife-beater, flop-flops.

 

[regularjoe]

I think there are enough regular business travellers who fly with suit and tie that this shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Brian SD]

I can't ever fly on an airplane in nice clothes again. Terrorists will attack me.

 

[jcusey]

I think there are enough regular business travellers who fly with suit and tie that this shouldn't be a problem.

On flights to New York or Boston or Chicago, sure. But what about flights to Hawaii? Regardless, if you wanted to hijack an airplane and you could immediately eliminate a significant portion of the passengers as potential air marshals, wouldn't that make your task significantly easier?

 

[bigbadbuff]

that is par for the course IMO... the people making the rules have no idea what it's like to actually do the work.

 

[Keith T]

What a sad story....and its not the marshals, its everybody else that is the problem. However, I think there are at least a few other businessman and women out there that can provide some camoflauge. What little time I spend in airports, I at least find a sprinkling of some well-dressed folks. Surely not all of them are homeland security.

 

[Alias]

Man, and I was hoping to look good on my flight to Hawaii at the end of this month

Maybe I'll grow a beard just in time to throw those terrorists off.

 

[Tokyo Slim]

Unfortunately, growing facial hair doesn't work. Wearing a beard onboard a commercial airliner is a dead giveaway that you are a TERRORIST. The clean-cut bespoke suit wearing Air Marshall will bust a cap in your scruffy, un-American ass.

You are also obviously a terrorist if you:

Carry a small pair of nail clippers in your carry-on (with or without the useless little file attachment)

Don't avidly watch the in-flight movie (Oh boy. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. ...again) You might be using the distraction to plan your attack.

Request the vegetarian meal. (Or the "fish&quot Damn terrorists won't eat real meat. It's a dead givaway.

Recline your seatback with complete disregard for the Air Marshall sitting directly behind you.

Ask for more of those little peanut packages, because your first package had like, seriously, three friggin peanuts in it.

You have been warned. I can't actually tell you which offenses you will be shot, tazered, or maced for - and you can't ask. PATRIOT ACT MO' F*CKA.

 

[LA Guy]

No worries. I am an air marshall, and there are ways of adhering to the dress code without being singled out as law enforcement. Sometimes, I eat a huge meal half an hour before the flight, and then induce vomiting soon after takeoff. No-one think that the airsick guy lying in the galley is going to be the U.S. marshall - and the vantage point is better from back there anyway. Also, and this works best for flights to and from Vegas and Miami, I occasionally wear my purple Gaultier shantung silk suit with my vintage Versace silk shirt and the chain tie from Dolce & Gabbana from a few seasons back, all held together with my Medusa head belt and real gator skin Berluti loafers. Hair - gotta be permed. Sure, it stands out, but terrorists are not going to be on the lookout for the guy who looks like a real piiimmmmp.

 

[regularjoe]

Or on the other end of the scale, I don't think terrorists would suspect an air marshal in a bespoke 3-piece suit from Savile Row while decked out in Vass bespoke lace-ups.

 

[LA Guy]

Or on the other end of the scale, I don't think terrorists would suspect an air marshal in a bespoke 3-piece suit from Savile Row while decked out in Vass bespoke lace-ups.

I think that IAB might have a few questions for him though.

 

[regularjoe]

I think that IAB might have a few questions for him though.

Gotta be creative with expense reports.