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A Crappy Situation

Eason

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Ok, so here's the situation I'm currently in with my GF:

I have two jobs, and I can only get vacation once every 6 months due to the school semester schedule. I'm taking a total of 11 days off from the 3rd to the 15th from my main job, teaching at a public school, but still teaching at my second job, 90 minutes a day teaching at my gf and I's private institute. We told my brother (in Beijing) that on my vacation, we would go visit him. We decided to go from the 5th to the 12th.

My GF doesn't have a lot of money right now (can't afford the plane ticket) so I said I'd buy for her. Her parents would also be angry with her because the economy is struggling and she just started the private institute business and needs to spend time on it. I told her to ask her parents several weeks ago, but she kept procrastinating. She asked her mom about going to china last night, and her mom was very angry and disappointed with her, saying she had no responsibility, did whatever she wanted, etc, so she decided not to go. The private student's parents' are also annoyed that I want to take a week of vacation off, but fuck them it's my only vacation in 6 months, and I'm getting substitutes anyway.

So, because I already confirmed everything with my brother, he already got us an apartment in beijing, and he flew back there for the sole reason of getting ready for us, otherwise he wouldn't even be in beijing at this tiem of year. My gf suggested going for only one weekend- my brother totally rejected this because it's a waste of money, I agree but I'm still willing to spend $1000 for my gf and I to go, but my brother just wont' let me waste money like that. Same deal for Monday-Friday there, too short a time he says. If I go from Monday to monday, he will pay for half of my plane ticket and take care of the apt and food costs while I am there. I told him I was in a tough spot, but I said okay because I haven't seen my brother in a long time, and this is my only chance. I would like to stay for a shorter time, but he really won't allow it. It is only Monday the 5th to Friday the 12th, so that's 5 days my gf can't see me.

So, my gf flips out and cries all night, and says how can I go to Beijing for so long without her, for my whole vacation (it's 5~7 whole/partial days away out of 11) and that I definitely don't' care about her. She says let's break up when I try and talk to her, two times, and refuses to see that I don't really have a choice. My brother wouldn't allow me to go for less time, and if I canceled the trip, he would blame my GF for it and never forgive her- not a good start since I was planning on marrying her. So, yeah. Shit. What the fuck.
 

thekunk07

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fuck. was hoping this threak had some scatalogical content when i saw the title.

anyway, too much "my brother won't let me" and "she's upset with me". i know it sounds heartless, but do what YOU want. take care and control.
 

thekunk07

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if she's flipping out about shit like this now, i'd rethink the marrying. it doesn't get better.

my wife isn't too difficult, but has her moments. she pretended to like anal and football before we got married.
 

hossoso

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I've had more than one Korean drunkenly confide in me that the best thing you can ever do is to lie your way out of it. Tell them your brother is really sick or has E.D. or something, everybody saves face. Shit, say anything. Always worked for me.
 

why

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If anyone acted like that to me I'd let them think what they want. If you've made your case and she's too emotionally irrational to see your case, why would you want to marry her? If this happened once in over a year or so I could see it, but it sounds like she's so dependent on you that I get a stomach ache just reading about it.

I personally could never deal with someone so irrational and puerile that they appear outwardly stupid. The last thing I want to do is have to cancel something important because my overly dependent spouse sprained her toe and rushed to the emergency room.

Girls do this stuff all the time. I have a no tolerance policy anymore: if you're gonna be a bitch, make sure you're right first. I don't deal with crap like this. If I were you, I'd tell her sayonara (or whatever they speak on Jeju Island) and toast to breakups with my brother.
 

Teger

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she's not upset with you she's upset with her parents. give her some time to cool off and buy her flowers. if she's so important to you then you wouldn't really want to go on some vacation without her, and you brother should understand.
 

thekunk07

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^i said that to a korean girl and she started eating my ass. are you sure that's the correct spelling?
 

Teger

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you say 'you don't have a choice' but you do. she's asking her to pick her over your brother and she's looking for sympathy from you for her parents humiliating her. she's hurt that you'd go on vacation without her.
 

hossoso

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Originally Posted by thekunk07
^i said that to a korean girl and she started eating my ass. are you sure that's the correct spelling?
I'm sure, sounds like you just got lucky. And no, about the spelling. Correct spelling would be in hangeul.
 

why

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Originally Posted by Teger
you say 'you don't have a choice' but you do. she's asking her to pick her over your brother and she's looking for sympathy from you for her parents humiliating her. she's hurt that you'd go on vacation without her.

She's asking him to fuck over a family member who went out of his way to spend time with him. That's selfish and irrational and would piss me off. I'm even slamming down keys thinking about it.
 

Eason

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Originally Posted by Teger
you say 'you don't have a choice' but you do. she's asking her to pick her over your brother and she's looking for sympathy from you for her parents humiliating her. she's hurt that you'd go on vacation without her.
Yeah I know this but if any girl tries to make me choose between her and my family, when I spend every day with her for the last 6 months and moved out of my country for her, then too bad because it's my family every time. Well, not my dad, but my brother pwns.
 

Eason

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Originally Posted by hossoso
I'm sure, sounds like you just got lucky. And no, about the spelling. Correct spelling would be in hangeul.
안녕하새요. 닊아! Re-reading my first post gives me a pretty clear idea of what needs to be done. edit: 닊아!
 

Mr T

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Your posts had more common sense before you left the country. Go visit your brother.
 

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