5ives

[shoreman1782]

I don't usually do the "send a funny web thing to everyone you know" thing (though I did tell a lot of people about the Washington vid that was up here lately), and I'm usually behind on them anyway, but I think this site 5ives is pretty great. It's just funny lists. Check it out. Five examples:

Five things, besides lying, that Shakira's hips don't do
June 15th, 2006

1. poach eggs
   
2. long division
   
3. tap your phone
   
4. moblog
   
5. take no mess

Five terrible fake Morrissey songs
March 28th, 2006

1. Bachelor in a Casserole
   
2. The Swirling Clergyman's Lament
   
3. St. Sebastian's Disused Quiver
   
4. Dolorous Dolores
   
5. Gracious Knows These Trousers Bind

Five things I had to keep explaining to the guy at REI
January 23rd, 2006

1. I'll mostly be seated and typing while I wear these shoes
   
2. I very rarely leave the house
   
3. There's a paucity of rocks to climb in the Sunset District
   
4. I'd prefer shoes that don't look like "The Visible Man"
   
5. These have more than enough "torsion control" for smoking cigars and walking to the Walgreens

Five rules of thumb
October 31st, 2005

1. The stupider your ringtone, the longer it will take you to answer your phone.
   
2. The twin miracles of childbirth and pet ownership render you unable to share one photo of anything.
   
3. If your vanity license plate makes any reference to the make of your vehicle, the people you work with despise you.
   
4. Ph.D.s who ask to be called "Doctor" should be prepared to refer to every college graduate as "Bachelor."
   
5. If you own more than one Enya record you might as well buy all of them and make a little fort.

Five things I have read repeatedly in the bathroom
October 10th, 2005

1. Lucky Magazine subscription card
   
2. ibuprophen bottle
   
3. that one New York Times Magazine
   
4. ingredients of Crest
   
5. shampoo instructions