23, in a 2.5 year relationship, feeling super restless, please advise

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by P. Bateman, Aug 20, 2010.

  1. texas_jack

    texas_jack Senior member

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    You're living a facsimile of my early 20s. Here is what will happen:

    -You will continually question your relationship.
    -When you attempt to break up with her, you will either not bring it up out of fear, or she will cry and you'll feel bad and remove the list of demands from the table.
    -Continue above until society feels you should be engaged/married.
    -Get married and hate life.
    -Finally consumate those extramarital affairs whenever possible.
    -Marriage ends with either you being caught or somehow you propose divorce without her suspecting a thing.
    -Feel 100% better after the relationship has finally ended.
    -Look back and wonder why you wasted some of the finer years of your life.


    Jesus
     
  2. deadly7

    deadly7 Senior member

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    +1 Monontony will kill any relationship, regardless of how good it is.

    To the OP, get out and have some fun with the girlfriend, and see how you feel after that. One of the things, I think, that kept me with MrsG is the fact that we're both very social.


    Or you might never meet another girl like her and never forgive yourself for letting this one go. You're only feeling restless because of you. Other men feel restless because of HER.

    if these people knew truly what it means to be in a relationship with someone you really love these questions dont arise.

    100%. AND, tell her to go out with her friends and you go out with yours. Being together ALL the time is taking it's toll on both of you(or at least you!) Staying home at this age is not the way to go! You both need to meet and be with other people!
    Remember..out of site is not out of mind...She won't break if she(and you) go out and have some fun w/o each other!
    And if she doesn't want to do that and just saty homme...BOUNCE my friend!


    As for the whole "I'm missing out on so much!" thing, that's just because you can't have it. Everything seems so much better and more mystical when you can't have it. Once you break up with this girl and are single (which you will do eventually) you'll realize that it wasn't as glamorous as you thought it was and you'll eventually even end up glamorizing the long term relationship thing. Sure, maybe you'll like being single more, but it still won't be as great as you think.

    +100

    If you don't wake up and go "This is exactly how it should be" every day, you're probably not in the right relationship, or something is bugging you.
     
  3. deveandepot1

    deveandepot1 Senior member

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    If you don't wake up and go "This is exactly how it should be" every day, you're probably not in the right relationship, or something is bugging you.


    This.
     
  4. Eason

    Eason Bicurious Racist

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    I'm 23 and have been dating a wonderful girl for about 2.5 years now. She's good to me, family loves her, I love her family, but lately I've been feeling freaked out about us lately. Simply put I feel too young to be this emotionally involved. I feel we're on the road to marriage (possibly not any time soon, but on our way) and there's too much I haven't done or experienced. All my buddies are out chasing tail and having fun and I feel like an old married guy. I just feel too young to be in this situation. She doesn't actively keep me down or anything but the fact that we're so comfortable with each other the motivation to go out and hit the town isn't there. We stay in a lot. I hit the bar last night with friends and was flirting with a girl. It was all squared away and exhilerating but because I could never do that to my GF I pulled the girlfriend card during the kiss/hug goodbye and ran away. Sucked, but I couldn't do that to my girlfriend. If the GF and I were dating maybe 8 years from now, it'd be great, but at this age I feel restless. Further I don't feel it'd be healthy to sweep these feelings under the rug now only to have them explode later in life when I'm married and reflecting upon missed experiences/opportunities as a young man. She loves me so much and is so invested I feel like such an asshole for having these thoughts and don't want to hurt her, but I don't know what to do.
    I recommend cheating on her. Edit: okay, you can break up with her too and then have sex with other people. The banging of other people is the key point.
     
  5. tunnelrat

    tunnelrat Well-Known Member

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    I recommend cheating on her.

    Edit: okay, you can break up with her too and then have sex with other people. The banging of other people is the key point.


    As cynical as it may sound - yes.
     
  6. P. Bateman

    P. Bateman Senior member

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    Stay with her, but demand that she allow you to get your dick wet elsewhere until it's out of your system. If she says no, she isn't committed enough to the relationship and you can dump her.

    It was by no means a demand, but this is sorta what went down. We're looking into an open relationship, we're each picking up a book on the subject this week.


    I drank a lot of liquid courage in preparation of the talk, but it turned out I was too drunk to form a coherent sentence so I tried again the next day. It went as expected, she got super sad and said she couldn't imagine being without me, I felt like shit for upsetting here and got scared of the prospect of being alone but still maintained that by denying what I was feeling it was just going to blow up later on. I couldn't bring myself to explicitly say I wanted to know other people, but she knew what I was thinking and proposed the open relationship. Turns out it was something she had been thinking about for some time though I think more out of curiosity as opposed to necessity for me.
     
  7. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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    It was by no means a demand, but this is sorta what went down. We're looking into an open relationship, we're each picking up a book this week.


    I drank a lot of liquid courage in preparation of the talk, but it turned out I was too drunk to form a coherent sentence so I tried again the next day. It went as expected, she got super sad and said she couldn't imagine being without me, I felt like shit for upsetting here and got scared of the prospect of being alone but still maintained that by denying what I was feeling it was just going to blow up later on. I couldn't bring myself to explicitly say I wanted to know other people, but she knew what I was thinking and proposed the open relationship. Turns out it was something she had been thinking about for some time though I think more out of curiosity as opposed to necessity for me.


    she's going to get laid first. hope that doesn't bug you. looking forward to follow up threads.
    [​IMG]
     
  8. impolyt_one

    impolyt_one Senior member

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    that doesn't sound like much of a way to show that you're serious about anything, to be honest, and that is coming from an alcoholic who isn't serious about anything, but has had his heart broken and knows what's poppin on the streets better than Mandela. Share a bottle of wine and fuck, share a bottle of vodka and break up and get back together again the next day, but don't drop heavy things on people after a few scotches, or you're not being very fair.
    I had the chance to marry a girl at 23; I didn't, we had a much nastier breakup than I expected, and I regretted for a long time. Heart conditioning-wise, I was probably at the same place you're at; it hurts if you fuck it up. Open relationships are not the answer BTW. I am now 28, been there and done that, and did a little more, and in a serious relationship, and it takes more effort than before, but it's more worth it as well, and open relationships as a break are still not the answer. Do something or don't do something, but don't leave hearts open or waiting, because you'll always lose that gamble.
     
  9. longskate88

    longskate88 Senior member

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    Break up with her.

    In a few months/years you'll see her putting up pictures of her hunky new guy on Facebook, and you'll wonder if that should've been you.

    Sure, could've been you, but since then you've also been having fun and meeting new people. You might never forget about her, but you'll look back and know you made the right decision.
     
  10. downwithianbrown

    downwithianbrown Senior member

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    yeah, she is definitely going to go out and have sex before you do. especially cus she presented the idea. Woman are crafty creatures. she doesnt want to lose you, but she'll settle for making you feel bad/guilty long enough for her to find some one else. Better beat her to the punch.
     
  11. CDFS

    CDFS Senior member

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  12. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Senior member

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    A bit better than yesterday, all day vomiting for
    ...Sure, could've been you, but since then you've also been having fun and meeting new people...

    in theory, at least.
     
  13. foodguy

    foodguy Senior member

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    +100

    If you don't wake up and go "This is exactly how it should be" every day, you're probably not in the right relationship, or something is bugging you.


    uhm, what was your longest relationship? seriously? relationships have ebbs and flows. sometimes they're great, sometimes they're not. if you're waiting for someone who makes you feel like every morning is Christmas .... well, best of luck!
     
  14. Superfluous Man

    Superfluous Man Senior member

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    Have you tried hitting her?
     
  15. P. Bateman

    P. Bateman Senior member

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    Woman are crafty creatures. she doesnt want to lose you, but she'll settle for making you feel bad/guilty long enough for her to find some one else. Better beat her to the punch.

    She's not like that. That's why this could work. We're approaching this seriously, talking to people in these relationships, reading the literature, and generally seeking advice. She's a sex educator and loves this ish.
     

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