"125 Bible Questions for Kids."

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by IUtoSLU, Oct 4, 2009.

  1. IUtoSLU

    IUtoSLU Senior member

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    Taken from http://vexedone.blogspot.com/

    My church recently put out another study guide that follows the Sunday morning sermons. In the back are "125 Bible Questions for Kids." I thought they were amusing, horrifying and, generally, hilarious. Here are some examples:

    Q. "Who wrote the Bible?"
    A. "God told His people what to write down."

    Q. "Does the Bible have any mistakes?"
    A. "No, it is perfect."

    Q. "Will animals be in heaven?"
    A. "Yes."

    Q. "Will heaven be scary?"
    A. "No, everything is fun an it never even gets dark."

    Q. "What are some sins you have done?"
    A. "Yelling, not sharing, stealing, yelling, lying, etc."
    (Yes, yelling was listed twice.)

    Q. "Name some things a Christian husband is supposed to do."
    A. "Love God, love his wife, work hard, make money, etc."

    Q. "What will Jesus be like when he comes back to stop the bad guys?"
    A. "He will ride a horse, wear a white robe dipped in blood, and have a sword coming from his mouth."

    Q. "Who should tell a girl who she should marry?"
    A. "Her daddy."

    These are all copied word-for-word from the book. Seriously.
     
  2. Connemara

    Connemara [URL='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jST2Sv63WQ']

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    [​IMG] What denomination is this if I may ask?
     
  3. IUtoSLU

    IUtoSLU Senior member

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    I don't know, its from some blog.
     
  4. dah328

    dah328 Senior member

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    Please keep us informed of all the things you read on the Internet that you find amusing, horrifying and, generally, and hilarious. We anxiously await. [​IMG]
     
  5. IUtoSLU

    IUtoSLU Senior member

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    I don't know, its from some blog.

    Please keep us informed of all the things you read on the Internet that you find amusing, horrifying and, generally, and hilarious. We anxiously await. [​IMG]

    I don't get it...?
     
  6. Big Pun

    Big Pun Senior member

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    I'm so glad my parents were too lazy to ingrain a particular religion into me. Modern day Catholics FTW
     
  7. Stazy

    Stazy Senior member

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    Q. "What will Jesus be like when he comes back to stop the bad guys?"
    A. "He will ride a horse, wear a white robe dipped in blood, and have a sword coming from his mouth."


    Sounds like a pretty bad ass halloween costume.
     
  8. JustinW

    JustinW Senior member

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  9. appolyon

    appolyon Senior member

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    Looks like it came from here: http://surfccc.com/?p=127

    I'd never heard of them before this thread. Anyone else?


    None of the funny ones are listed on that page though [​IMG]
     
  10. RJman

    RJman Posse Member Dubiously Honored

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    Have none of these kids heard of the serpent of Rehoboam? The Well of Zohassadar? The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb?

    That's what dah316 is saying.
     
  11. Helix

    Helix Senior member

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    lolreligion

    creationism sites are funnier though
     
  12. Kent Wang

    Kent Wang Affiliate Vendor Dubiously Honored Affiliate Vendor

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    Have none of these kids heard of the serpent of Rehoboam? The Well of Zohassadar? The bridal feast of Beth Chadruharazzeb?
    It is commemorated in stained glass. [​IMG]
     
  13. kenosis

    kenosis Active Member

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    I'm so glad my parents were too lazy to ingrain a particular religion into me. Modern day Catholics FTW

    So instead, you got the civil religion ingrained into you, yes? Wouldn't you rather those that love you, make some attempt to share their values and vision with you rather than be indifferent or imply that they aren't teaching you values, when in fact, they end up replicating whatever the civil religion is? Just curious, not trying to be mean about it.
     
  14. kenosis

    kenosis Active Member

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    [​IMG]

    What denomination is this if I may ask?


    Yeah, looks like another distortion of the scriptures by an overly literalist interpretation.
     
  15. Britalian

    Britalian Senior member

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    I saw Religulous last night. Very funny. And scary. Some genuine nutbags out there. Still, if it makes them feel good about themselves and their futures.
     

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