“I Went To Wharton. It Goes Without Saying That You Should Want To F*** Me.”

[dokelroth]

What am I to make of the following photographs?

 

[VMan]

http://johnfitzgeraldpage.com/MoviePosters.aspx

 

[JLibourel]

I don't quite get the part about bragging about "bench pressing 1,200 pounds four times a week." Obviously this does not represent a single effort...so what the hell is he doing? If he can do four reps with 300 pounds, I would be very impressed. If he is doing 12 reps with 100 pounds, I would not be impressed in the least.

 

[LabelKing]

His modeling resume:

PRINT & ROLES


Holiday Inn - Waterpark Frolicker

International Trucks - Mobile Phone Guy (National Ad)



Jezebel Magaine - Best Dressed Atlantan 2002

Columbus Dispatch - What I Wear "Brace Yourself!" Article

WEBSITE & ROLE

Stuff4Greeks.com - Sigma Nu Fraternity Clothing Model

RUNWAY & DESIGNERS

Wright Models - Gingiss, Silverman's, Chess King

Martini Girl's World - Evening Wear

I suppose the joker in the red shorts is him:

 

[Violinist]

Montreal has its own version

http://www.vincentboucher.com/

I actually lived in the same building as him, and went to the same gym. He's completely nuts. He would post pictures of him and his girlfriend, and has pro photographs taken of himself. He's completely insane. Why are there guys like this?

 

[millionaire75]

I think these people are "functioning maniacs" simply said. Kind of like functioning alcoholics of functionting junkies. The scary thing is how many people actually think like these guys but do not have a website advertising it?

 

[Pennglock]

Originally Posted by millionaire75

I think these people are "functioning maniacs" simply said.

I really think you might be on to something

 

[lawyerdad]

It reminds me of this, which I saw the other day (supposedly it comes from Craig's List):
What am I doing wrong?



Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.



Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?



Here are my questions specifically:



- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.



-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings.



-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?



- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?



- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?



- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.



Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.



PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:



I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.



Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!



So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!



So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.



Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if only for a tryout.



By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.



With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."



I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

 

[millionaire75]

It reminds me of this, which I saw the other day (supposedly it comes from Craig's List):



They actually suggested on Dealbreaker (where I first saw the article) that they hook her up with this guy.

 

[mizanation]

i love this message board.

 

[Johnny_5]

Originally Posted by Violinist

Montreal has its own version

http://www.vincentboucher.com/

I actually lived in the same building as him, and went to the same gym. He's completely nuts. He would post pictures of him and his girlfriend, and has pro photographs taken of himself. He's completely insane. Why are there guys like this?


LMAO. I love how this dude has a pre-language page before you enter. Like people from all over the world are so mesmerized by him that his website needs to be in 18 different languages.


John Fitzgerald is the epitome of that kid who got his ass kicked all throughout high school and now is trying to get back at everyone that picked on him in the past. You can tell just by looking at him. I also like how on his website he lists all the celebrities hes met.

" I have been in the "fame game" for years, meeting celebrities like Luke Perry, Cynthia Nixon, Dave Matthews, Jeff Foxworthy, Joe Montana, Toby Keith & LeAnn Rimes to name a few."

Like you really have to be somebody huge to meet LeAnn Rimes and Dave Matthews. He is like one of those tools who was on the real world in like 1995 and their still trying to claim their fame.

 

[whodini]

Originally Posted by Violinist

Montreal has its own version

http://www.vincentboucher.com/

I actually lived in the same building as him, and went to the same gym. He's completely nuts. He would post pictures of him and his girlfriend, and has pro photographs taken of himself. He's completely insane. Why are there guys like this?
I spent a good three minutes trying to figure out just what this guy does and what this "billionaires business, inc" or whatever is about. His website is like reading the ingredients of a frozen CPK BBQ chicken pizza.

 

[Violinist]

Originally Posted by whodini

I spent a good three minutes trying to figure out just what this guy does and what this "billionaires business, inc" or whatever is about. His website is like reading the ingredients of a frozen CPK BBQ chicken pizza.

Well he's French but yea... none of it makes any sense. He actually is some type of physics/math genius, but when he writes he tries to make it sound so complicated, and none of it makes any sense.

He wears sunglasses indoors, and walks like a robot. I think he is the most bizarre human being in the world.

My roomate and I used to prank call him and tell him we want to invest in his business. It was so strange.

 

[tiecollector]

I actually kind of like the wings on the pocket.

 

[jkennett]

I think I was given some wings like that when I was a little kid flying on delta... He probably stole them from some small child.