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  1. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    In the spirit of business transparency I will say that the Chili Chack got some hassle once from the Health and Sanitation Department for the issue mentioned in the last part of your sentence. (I won't make the point any more explicit because I know that children and young cats sometimes read...
  2. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    Are you saying "Please add corn vegetable?" If so, that might explain the strange looks. Some people are persnickety about corn is a dry fruit aka grain. Same thing will happen if you ask for tomato vegetable in your chili or cucumber vegetable just FYI.
  3. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    This is such a common misnomer, which bedevils the world of professional chili like no other. "Corn" is not intended as a noun in the expression "chili corn carne" but rather as a verb. To put it in different words, the carne is corned e.g. granulated and preserved with a salt mixture. "Chili...
  4. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    Ordering chili, only to be asked if I want chocolate. Did you not hear me order chili mere seconds ago Criminy Winthorpe of course I want chocolate use the noggin God put in your head!
  5. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    Whoa Nelly I have never seen chili served in a cup before! The spaghetti noodles must be cut up in to small Portions. Also, I'm not seeing the 9% chocolate sprinkle. Perhaps it is sprinkled in to the middle of the cup's volume?
  6. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    In recent days my telephone lines have been running Rampant with requests to cater "supper bowls." Why would I be Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy about that, it sounds like a lucrative situation? Well the problem is that I serve a Cincinnati style chili which is served on a platter, not in a bowl. I don't...
  7. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    I don't like to complain about paying Customers but of late I have noticed a trend that brings me into a curmudgeonly state of mind. I am speaking of Millenials and the great Vowel Shift they have introduced into our language. Just this morning I had a young female customer (with tatoos) order...
  8. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    As many of you know, I compete regularly in Chili Competitions by which I sell more of my Ch-Ch-Chili Max Platter with Fanta's when I win and gain publicity. On this morning of competition I said to a supposèd friend "I do so hope that my chili is adjudged superior today so that I can win the...
  9. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    I live in The Country. Businesses of the sort you describe in your message above do not deign to serve communities of the sort in which I live. Only the City Man benefits from their deeds, alas.
  10. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    I have started a startup called Chili Box. It is a subscription-based service on the model of Birch Box except instead of sending birches I send three items each month: a piping hot chili, an article of "new old stock" lingerie (I don't say it is old stock, but it is), and a Fanta. Why am I...
  11. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    There is a place near The Chili Chack where I go to make love to pretty women. Their sales folks are always at The Chack assuring me that there are making-loves available for purchase, but when I arrive their operations people tell me "I'm sorry, there are no making-loves currently available. I...
  12. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    I had a customer come into the Chili Chack once tell me that my chili caused his menteparesis to act up. At first I thought I was going to be in trouble with the Health Department because I'd been cutting costs using 9% chocolate sprinkle instead of the standard 11% and I thought that might...
  13. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    TMW a person who is fat tells you that "you should eat more of your own chelly help you put some pounds on that frame of yours which is too svelte. It's a health thang." Now I'm a businessman and I don't want to offend, but in my mind I am thinking "your estimate of appropriate body weight is...
  14. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    My sales have been very poor today, as one of my fiercest competitors has been giving away burritos gratis or free of charge. I don't want to speak ill of potential customers or anything like that, so I will just say that the CDC has never had cause to investigate my Mangwiches. My competitor...
  15. ChiliinFool

    Things you just don't get

    For the tarnation of me I do not understand why a person would want to be named Horace, which is pronounced exactly the same as "whoress" (a female whore).
  16. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    As we do every Christmas season, we sent out Christmas cards to all the loyal customers at The Chili Chack. Or at least I thought we were sending out Christmas cards. I don't know how this happened but it turns out my assistant mailed out pickles instead of cards. We don't even have pickles as...
  17. ChiliinFool

    Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

    According to the green medallions I have been deemed as "headed for greatness." Once the mods at this website get a chance to enjoy Mangwich or a plate of my Cincinnati style chili with 11% chocolate sprinkles, my rating will probably be increased to "Achieved Greatness." (They could also...

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