There are, in this world, very few certainties: the sun sets in the west; it rains on Memorial Day; women like handbags.
No matter how hard you try, you will likely never understand a woman’s obsession with these ridiculously overpriced pieces of leather; cut and stitched together to make containers in which they carry loads of lipstick and other unnecessary amenities. I could attempt to explain the thrill that a woman experiences whenever a fine purse hangs at her arm, the spasm of delight when smooth leather brushes against her skin, or the visual allure of that polished hardware.
However, it would be pointless. Certain facts men must inevitably accept without reflection: the woman’s obsession with handbags, much like female orgasms, will perpetually remain a mystery. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier your life will become. So get that credit card ready, and learn about the most hyped bags of the moment. You can thank me later.
1) Young and Day-Dreaming
Benedetta Bruzziches, Selfridges, £610
I’ve always thought that one of the most precious gifts a man could give to any lady-companion is to reawaken her inner child; to make her feel like the princess she believed she was at the tender age of six (wait, am I projecting?).
Benedetta Bruzziches is a young Italian designer that transformed a whole hamlet in Central Italy into her own artisanal handbag laboratory. She’s a visionary with a fairy-tale obsession, hence why her evening bags make the perfect gift for your romantic, day-dreaming wife. Drop a couple of tickets for Disneyland inside and feel like a prince.
2) In the Moment
Mansur Gavriel Bucket Bag, $695
This is the bag equivalent of the popular girl in high school: coveted, yet unattainable. As much as I hate the marketing strategy (i.e. artificial scarcity) behind the brand, I have to admit that it works well: this has been the biggest it-bag for the past few years, and is regularly name-dropped by retailers and fashionistas. They come in a jumbo-crayon-box color palette, although you’re going to have a hard time finding any of them in stock. If the lady in your life is into fashion, she is likely familiar with Mansur Gavriel’s infamous bucket bag, and she would be forever thankful if you were to make it appear in her closet.
3) A Man-Eater
Chanel 2.55, available only at Chanel boutiques, $6,000
Talk about female orgasms…Yes, it does cost a small fortune–and no, it is probably not worth it–but your partner's eternal gratitude for placing an everlasting icon–possibly even an heirloom–in her arms, definitely is priceless.
4) So Chic/a.k.a French
Isaac Reina Double Flap Handbag, €825
Thank goodness that not every woman has a narcissistic personality disorder like the one who’s writing this article, and that many women are happy carrying a purse that doesn’t make it onto the cover of Vogue.
If your significant other likes shopping at minimalist, independent boutiques with a lot of blonde wood, she might have been swooning over this beauty for a while, as it quickly became the staple bag of many carefully-curated wardrobes.
5) The Jetsetter
Celine Phantom Medium Luggage Handbag, $3,250
If the woman in your life is constantly on the go and flies often… chances are that A) she already owns a Celine Phantom bag, or B) she has mentioned it at least once while desperately attempting to fit all her stuff into a duffle bag.
This coveted purse costs more than the average monthly rent in the USA, but it is priceless in both terms of convenience and style – two things you would never deny your beloved partner, would you?