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A Sea of Sand: A Star Wars-Inspired Editorial

By Synthese, Dec 20, 2015 | | |
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    TRANSMISSION TYPE: Data Recording, Excerpt 1/3
    DESCRIPTION: Crash Log
    PARTIES: Two (Human)
    LOCATION: Blenjeel
    //AUDIO AVAILABLE//
    //BATTERY LEVEL LOW//
    //TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS//


    [Party 1] Theoh!? Theoh!

    [Party 2] Yeah, Cap?

    [Party 1] The hell is this? Why’d we drop out of warp?”

    [alarm sounds]

    [Party 1] That’s a gravity warning.

    [Party 2] Captain, we’re being pulled into Blenjeel.

    [Party 1] What? Shit. Theoh, on the bridge - scratch that, get down there and see if you can get the Melanthe back to light-speed. I’ll try to keep us from ripping apart.

    [Party 2] Roger that, Cap.

    [metal shearing]

    [increased alarm volume]

    [Party 2] Left shield panel’s gone, Cap.

    [Party 1] I know, dammit. We’re out of time - get back to the bridge. And strap yourself in, ‘cause this is gonna be rough.

    [Party 1] You’ll hold on for me, won’t you? That’s my girl. Jus’ get us down safe.

    Comin’ in hot, Theoh. Might wanna close your eyes.


    TRANSMISSION TYPE: Data Recording, Excerpt 2/3
    DESCRIPTION: Crash Log
    PARTIES: Two (Human)
    LOCATION: Blenjeel
    //AUDIO AVAILABLE//
    //TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS//


    [Party 1] What a mess. Gonna take me weeks to fix all this.

    Blenjeel, huh. I thought the desert was supposed to be hot.

    [Party 2] It’s the altitude. The summers are hot, but come winter the sands will be as snow-covered as the mountains.

    [Party 1] Huh. Funny, it looked so damn flat from up high. Now that we’re down here - lucky we managed to set down at all.

    Looks more like an ocean. You ever seen an ocean, Theoh?

    [Party 2] Once, yes.

    [Party 1] I haven’t. Maybe someday.

    [silence]

    //BATTERY WARNING//

    [Party 2] We’ll need to move tomorrow.

    [Party 1] And leave my ship?

    [Party 2] Leave everything but water.

    [Party 1] Don’t think you understand - that ship’s my life

    [Party 2] And unless you walk away from it, the worms will make sure both it and you are nothing at all. It’s dead, now. Trash.”

    [Party 1] Hey! She’s a lady. Don’t speak to her like that.

    Hold on. What do you mean, ‘worms?’

    [Party 2] Sand-burrowers. Huge beasts, live underground. Ninety percent mouth. Only thing that lives here - there’s a reason the New Republic blacklisted Blenjeel. They’ll have felt the crash. Probably on their way already.

    [Party 1] Wonderful.

    [Party 2] We’ll need to head West.

    [Party 1] Huh. What’s in the West? Settlements?

    [Party 2] No. No settlements on Blenjeel.

    [Party 1] Then what the hell’s in the West?

    [silence]

    [Party 1] Theoh? You know this place, Theoh?

    [silence]

    [Party 2] I am…familiar with it, yes.

    [silence]

    [silence]

    [silence]

    [Party 1] That so. Funny - could be I’m imagining things, but I swear your accent used to be stronger.


    TRANSMISSION TYPE: Data Recording, Excerpt 3/3
    DESCRIPTION: Crash Log
    PARTIES: Two (Human)
    LOCATION: Blenjeel
    //AUDIO AVAILABLE//
    //TRANSCRIPT FOLLOWS//


    [Party 2] It is time we left, Captain.

    [silence]

    [silence]

    [Party 2] Captain?

    [Party 1] Changed my mind, Theoh. Don’t think I’ll be going any further with you.

    [silence]

    [Party 2] That is irksome to hear.

    [Party 1] Figured you’d say that.

    //BATTERY WARNING//

    [Party 1] Been doing some thinking. Why’d the warp drive go out? Why here?

    [Party 2] I am sure it was bad luck.

    [Party 1] Bullshit. You brought us here. What’d you do to my ship?

    [silence]

    [Party 2] When I first came here it was no desert, Captain. Green, as far as the eye could see. Lakes and oceans and rivers. And now?

    So much waste. So much loss. The sands took it all.

    [silence]

    They had wings like gossamer, once. Like fire. Like the wind.

    [Party 1] What are you talking about?

    [Party 2] The Duinuogwuin. Star Dragons, you would call them. They have hidden their existence for a very, very long time. They waited out the Civil War, but I found their graveyard! Me! I put the pieces together, not the Resistance! Not the First Order!

    [silence]

    [Party 1] What the hell are you?

    [silence]

    [Party 2] A scholar, of a sort. With an interest in a particular kind of relic. The bones - the bones hold power. The Force. They are channels.

    [Party 1] Don’t tell me you believe that crap.

    [Party 2] It is not a question of belief. Can you hear their call? It is not the sands alone that whisper to us. The bones are waiting. They want to be found.

    [Party 1] Hey - hold on. Put that down, Theoh.

    I said put it down.

    [Party 2] I don’t think so, Captain. Soon, the worms will come. And if I am to find the Graveyard, they will need to be distracted.

    //BATTERY WARNING//

    [Party 2] Clever, really. So clever. The New Republic blacklisted this planet long ago. The burrowers may not know it, but they protect the bones. Whether they came here of their own volition, or whether the Duinuogwuin brought them here I don’t know. But they eat everything that comes to this place.

    [Party 1] You crashed us on a dead planet populated by giant carnivorous worms so that you could look for mythical space dragon bones?

    [Party 2] Start walking, Captain. In front of me, please.

    [Party 1] You gotta be kidding.

    [Party 2] The First Order would pay handsomely for this information. But I have no time for the petty squabbles of the Empire’s dregs.

    [Party 1] You don’t want to do this, Theoh.

    [Party 2] I beg to differ.

    [Party 1] Nah. You really don’t.

    [Party 2] Move, Captain. Don’t think that I won’t -

    [blaster fire]

    [screaming]

    [Party 1] You really think I’d leave my loaded blaster where you could grab it?

    [Party 2] You - you shot me! I’ll kill you for this, scum. Do you know who I am? Do you know how long I have waited to come here? I’ll feed you to the worms myself, and I’ll -

    [blaster fire]

    [silence]

    [silence]

    [Party 1] People’ve tried to kill me before, Theoh. Ain’t nothin’ new. Weird part is, you get used to it.

    But you crashed my ship, and that I can’t forgive.

    [silence]

    Well. Maybe your bones can be friends with theirs.

    //BATTERY WARNING//

    Shit. Three days worth of food. Maybe a week of water.

    Don’t worry, girl. I’ll get you running again.

    Then we’ll go see the ocean.

    [silence]

    Just you wait.

    [silence]

    [silence]

    [silence]

    //BATTERY WARNING//

    //BATTERY WARNING//

    //TRANSMISSION TERMINATED//

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    Photo Credits:
    Photos by Ian Lipton Photo


    Wardrobe:
    Jasper wears his personal collection of Cloak, Robert Geller and Nonnative
    Jack wears his personal collection of Carpe Diem, M.A.+ and l'maltieri

    Story:
    Written by Jasper Lipton. No, it's not canon. Deal with it.


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Comments

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  1. psydle
    @spacepope you have inspired me to finally pull the trigger on a Carpe grail I've been lusting after for a while
  2. ike_hiking_boots
    Picture 2: scarf is by?
  3. El Argentino
    Looks great.

    But you don't drop out of "warp" in Star Wars...
  4. Benjaminba
    Love it, great content!
  5. Lionheart Biker
    Final shot is perfect. Very cool story.
  6. t3hg0suazn
    Ace. Fantastic job with everything guys. Also, does Benjeel decrypt to Colorado?
  7. ManofKent
    Great looks, just needs a bit of space debris

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