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I'll preface this with saying I am nearly blind without my glasses, and as with most good stories it starts with downing a dozen beer and some shots. I was at a Christmas party a few years ago and got picked up by a woman. We ended up at a friend of hers apartment. We fell asleep on the couch. I woke up thinking I had made it to a friend's place, which I know well enough to walk around without my glasses on. I started towards the bathroom and walked into a glass coffee table. It shattered everywhere. The worst part was that my glasses where on the table and I could not find them in the pile of broken glass. The woman whose apartment it was comes out and sees her coffee table smashed and starts yelling at me. I had no idea what her name was or where I was. I had to wait for the woman I was with to find my glasses for me before I could leave.
At the intermission during a concert in the city park in my litle town my neighbor introduced me to another neighbor whose house sits adjacent to the park and happens to be on the route I usually jog in the afternoons. Trying to be sociable - and having gotten on the outside of several beers before the concert and during the first set - I mentioned that I'd seen this dude along with a half dozen other folks out in his front yard apparently admiring a new tree he'd planted. I made some joke about how refreshing it was to have Druids in the neighborhood to add to the cultural mix. Turns out his father had died the week prior and he had planted a memorial tree and was holding some sort of remembrance ceremony.
Or "I was literally laughing ****** off". Your gluteus maximus actually detached themselves from your body you were laughing so hard?
Well, isn't "Creeping" technically an adjective?
Given JBZ's story, this seems apropos:
Were you naked too? Because if you were, you totally win this thread.
Wanna get away?
When I play them back, it makes sense why I am still single.
??
It was a reference to television commercials that Southwest airlines has been running for awhile. Something embarrassing happens to the person in the commercial, at which point a voice over asks "Wanna get away?". The premise being that you can "get away" on Southwest airlines.
It was a reference to television commercials that Southwest airlines has been running for awhile. Something embarrassing happens to the person in the commercial, at which point a voice over asks "Wanna get away?". The premise being that you can "get away" on Southwest airlines.