Your most recent awkward moment

[DNW]

Originally Posted by Tsintaosaurus

lmao

to make a long story short, my roommate just told me that she had sex with carlos (our other roommate). she is also our landlord's ex, and our landlord is also our third roommate.

Guess who's next?!?

Originally Posted by Thomas

I only wonder what they talked about on the drive back to the nursing home.

"Amateurs."

 

[tiecollector]

Originally Posted by Thomas

I only wonder what they talked about on the drive back to the nursing home.

I'd bet money on **********.

 

[Hanseat]

I was on a 12 hour flight.. heavy flatulence.. The hot silents that smell like sulfur + feces.

To play it off I'd turn around and look at the nearby lavatory and cringe or shake my head every so often. I could see it was taking a toll on the other passengers. After a particulary nasty one, the lady across the aisle was furiously pressing the flight attendant call button. No one came.

1. Thank god, I already thought we wouldn't hear a single fart story.

2. Here's are my awkward moments for the week:

Started drinking at three in the afternoon with about half of my graduating class from HS- around Christmas when everyone's home you traditionally get drunk on hard liquour walking outside in the cold for a few hours. Later we went to a restaurant where we had a separate room and tables set for us 45 people. Guess what happens- some people come in later (getting even more wasted on the alcohol they brought along outside) and people figured they'd just take some silverware and a chair away from the 'empty' table and move to another table (b/c the one tabel was so 'empty'). I went outside for a drunk call (usually longer than one thinks) and when I came back there was no one left at the table.
I stood there for about ten seconds (don't forget I was already hammered) until I figured out what to do while two people were just looking at me...

Needless to say we didn't all went back to the empty table to sit there comfortably - squeezed onto another table and it was fun all around.

The bigger story though is that later at night we went to a club and I ended up being one of the last guys there. So I started chatting up this girl that stood around there with some guy- eventually he pulls out a business card that said he was the CEO of some company (turns out a nursing service he took over after his mother who had founded the company died) trying to show off.
Funnily enough though, I had the business card of a young high-profile german IP-lawyer (PhD, LL.M from Yale) in my wallet.
With all self-assuredness only drunken people have I pulled that one out and handed it to him- his grin quickly changed to nothing but a blank stare.
But here's the fun part- this lawyer actually looks very similar to me (I have both told and apologized to him), after a night in the club he might actually confuse us two and believe that sh**.
Do I need to mention that he didn't take the girl home/ rather her place that is.

P.S. I actually chatted that lawyer up with- a) Do you know lawyer XYZ and b) is that a Borrelli shirt? Both accounts were straight 'yes' and we had a great talk among clotheshorses. He was really surprised to see a student identify that and asked me how I did it (saw a button, the stitching and most of all a guy who was obviously dressed in expensive clothes and cared; money and little time= Borrelli).
Landed me an invitation for lunch though...

 

[dsholmes1]

Ran into my ex-gf for the first time. Talk about awkward.

 

[Frrrank]

Ran into an ex-girlfriend of mine at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. She was wearing ropes!

 

[Coho]

I ordered the above item for Christmas. I tried it on while GF walked into my room. Actually, I tried it on, walked around the bathroom mirror flexing, then the GF walked into the room. She stood still, speechless, for a few seconds. It was of course awkward. When I told her that I need to wear it to work so my dress shirts don't bulge to the sides when tucked in, she nodded like I was pulling the wool over her eyes. So I said I bought it for "us."

 

[crazyquik]

Originally Posted by Coho

I ordered the above item for Christmas.


You bought the g-string or the belly button bar?

 

[teddieriley]

Are you sure you didn't mean "boyfriend," rather than girlfriend? I don't think you're in a unique position that wearing regular underwear should cause you to look for reprieve in the above. That's just wrong. I guess unless you're gay, then that's okay.

 

[xchen]

About 3 years ago I was sort of courting this girl. I really did like her, and we were hanging out a lot and had become fairly good friends. Our relationship was not physical at all, but we were hanging out pretty much every waking hour aside from working.

So, one day I was over at her house in the early afternoon. Her mom was at work so we were sitting around up in her room. She starts telling me she has a huge poster of Jim Morrison off of that album cover from the Doors and asks if I want to see it. I'm not a big fan of the Doors myself but I go into her walk in closet with her to check out this poster.

So, guess what happens next. We begin taking all of our clothes off. Just kidding.

I see a laundry basket on the floor that he had not thought of before bringing me in there. Right on the top was a pair of dirty panties with a huuuuuuuuge skid mark. She saw that I had seen them, and there was an awkward silence as we both shuffled out of the closet in a hurry. We still did hang out a lot for the rest of the summer, but that relationship never did turn into anything.

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by Tsintaosaurus

it's always awkward at office department lunches where everyone is forced to eat together at the same table in the same room. just watching people nervously sitting around desperately looking for a way into a conversation and pretending to look like they're enjoying their fellowship of coworkers even makes me uncomfortable. especially when it's the CEO in the room who's awkwardly fidgeting around in his chair. in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have dominated the conversation so much and let him in on our discussion of post-cold war soviet oppression, which i was sure he had a lot to say about.
Yeah, you probably made the CEO feel all inadequate and such, listening to you go on about such an in depth topic.

 

[gnatty8]

Some ***** tried to cut me off in traffic making a lane change without even looking. I laid on my horn and threw the finger before realizing it was one of our admin assistants.

Whoops.

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by gnatty8

Some ***** tried to cut me off in traffic making a lane change without even looking. I laid on my horn and threw the finger before realizing it was one of our admin assistants.

Whoops.

I have had a similar thing happen to me only to pull up with the Bird flying to see it is two nuns in the car. Talk about feeling entitled, they seem to think they call pull **** on the road and still get into heaven?

 

[kwilkinson]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

I have had a similar thing happen to me only to pull up with the Bird flying to see it is two nuns in the car. Talk about feeling entitled, they seem to think they call pull **** on the road and still get into heaven?

Jesus take the wheel?

 

[MetroStyles]

I think I have a pretty bad one for you guys. In fact it might top all of these.

During my holiday break from work this December, I went to visit my ex-girlfriend at her house. We aren't together anymore, but I still see her and go visit often, and we still hook up. I have known her for four years, give or take.

I ring the doorbell, and she lets me in. Her parents are there to greet me as well (keep in mind this girl is two years younger than me). Before I can come in and shake their hands and give hugs and stuff, I have to take off my shoes in this foyer area before the living room. So they are all watching me, waiting for me to take off my shoes.

Now it gets bad. I had packed a couple of condoms and a small bottle of lube (I know, stupid), because I wanted to have some fun with her. I put them in my inner jacket pocket. My shoes were also kind of hard to take off.

So as I lean down and struggle to get each sneaker off, the CONDOMS (2) fall out of my pocket and onto the floor. The wrapping is gold and very easy to see. Everybody sees this. I quickly snatch them and put them into another pocket, without making eye contact. I am embarrassed. As soon as the condoms are safely in my pocket, the BOTTLE OF LUBE (astroglide) falls onto the floor in the same spot. OH MY ******* GOD. I snatch the lube and put it in another pocket, which is already full of gloves, earmuffs, wallet, and condoms, so I have trouble putting it in there. This takes a few seconds, with everybody watching me (my ex, her father, and her mother).

I finally manage to get my shoes off, walk up to them and extremely awkwardly shake hands and give hugs, and then practically run away to the basement with the ex to avoid any more contact with her parents.

It was seriously like something out of a teen movie. Ugh.

 

[Kent Wang]

This is why you need flap pockets.