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Your Ancestry

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Gav, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    Cartman: "My grandfather was one quarter lesbian, so that makes me one sixteenth lesbian."
    That's a classic! [​IMG] "Ya know what? My grandma was Dutch Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian - that makes me quarter-lesbian!" [​IMG]
     
  2. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    Here's the whole scene:

    \t[The Cafeteria. The boys are in line for lunch]
    "Kyle:\tDude! I aced that test! I'm gonna win that dinner with Ms. Ellen!
    Stan:\tNo you're not! I don't think I missed any!
    Wendy:\t[approaches witn BeBe. Both have lunches already] Hi, Stan.
    Stan:\tI bet I scored 100!
    Wendy:\tHI, STAN!
    Stan:\tOh, hi, Wendy.
    Wendy:\tI was just in the bathroom, and Ms. Ellen was in there taking the biggest dump I've ever seen.
    Kyle:\tNo, she wasn't!
    Wendy:\tYes, she was!
    Stan:\tThat's impossible!
    Wendy:\tWell, she did! And she has horrible, horrible gas, too! She says she can't control it!
    Cartman:\tNuh-uh!
    Wendy:\tIt smells like a dead calf rotting in the hot sun!
    Kyle:\tOh cool.
    Cartman:\tHey Wendy, seriously, you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing!
    Kyle:\tYeah. You're acting like a freak, Wendy.
    Wendy:\tNO I'M NOT ACTING LIKE A FREEEAK!!! [realizes she has made a spectacle of herself as her voice echoes all over the room. Everyone in the cafetera looks at her. She moves away, humbled. BeBe follows]
    Cartman:\tDamn, man, someone's got to pull that monkey out of Wendy's ass. [they go in to get their lunches]
    Chef:\t[somberly] Hello there, children.
    Cartman:\tOh, hi, Chef.
    Kyle:\tHow did your date with Ms. Ellen go?
    Chef:\tNot too good.
    Stan:\tWhat happened? Didn't you make sweet love to her?
    Chef:\tNo, nono, she's not like that. You see... uh, how do I put this? Children,... Ms. Ellen doesn't exactly play for the right team. [they wait...] Ih-ih-ih-in in other words, children, she's not a member of the...heterosexual persuasion. [they just blink at him] Don't you understand? She's a lesbian.
    Stan:\tA whatbian?
    Kyle:\tA plebeian?
    Chef:\tYou boys don't know what a lesbian is?
    Stan:\tKenny? [he throws his palms up. He doesn't know, either] No, explain it to us, Chef.
    Chef:\tHud-that-that's okay. Uhd-uh, look. All you need to know is, Ms. Ellen's a lesbian, and that means she only likes other lesbians.
    Stan:\tOh.
    Chef:\tNow move along, children, you're holding up the line! [they head back into the cafeteria]
    Kyle:\tWeak, dude. She only likes other lesbians?
    Stan:\tHey, man. If she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians, too!
    Kyle:\tHey, yeah!
    Cartman:\tYou guys. Ya know what? My grandma was Dutch Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian - that makes me quarter-lesbian.
    Stan:\tYou're just saying that, Cartman.
    Kyle:\tYeah, you're not a lesbian, fatass.
    Cartman:\tI am, too!"
     
  3. Gav

    Gav Active Member

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    Oops nevermind -- just read the OP and I see that you're Irish. So... if being 1/2 Italian makes me a gangster of some sort, then are you a belligerent drunk? [​IMG] Just kidding of course, as I'm sure you were. [​IMG]

    No I'm Scottish from Irish ancestry, but, belligerent drunk fit's the bill...

    Hic!

    [​IMG]
     
  4. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    No I'm Scottish from Irish ancestry, but, belligerent drunk fit's [sic] the bill...

    Hic!

    [​IMG]


    Same here! [​IMG]
     
  5. ratboycom

    ratboycom Well-Known Member

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    our like of certain womens must have to do something with our blood mixes Amerikajin, Im Italian (Grandmother on dad's side), Irish and German (mom's side).

    If you trace my Grandma (mom's side) back a bit further we were Spaniards and Moores.
    My Grandpa (mom's side) said that we had Japanese in our blood. Though I am not sure if he was joking or not, since he used to go to Japan once a month. I know he had English blood on his mom's side.

    More recent history on my Dad's side, (like a 1800s) my family explored much of the northern Rockies (many claims around Montana)
     
  6. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    our like of certain womens must have to do something with our blood mixes Amerikajin, Im Italian (Grandmother on dad's side), Irish and German (mom's side).

    Hey that's pretty cool! [​IMG]
     
  7. SoCal2NYC

    SoCal2NYC Well-Known Member

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    Cartman: "My grandfather was one quarter lesbian, so that makes me one sixteenth lesbian."

    My favorite Cartman line:
    "My Mom says there are a lot of black kids in China."
     
  8. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    My favorite Cartman line:
    "My Mom says there are a lot of black kids in China."


    My favorite Cartman line is in this scene:

    [Mr Garrison]
    Okay children Who wrote the declaration of independence?
    C'mon children, don't be shy just give it your best shot. Yes Clyde?

    [Clyde]
    Timmy?

    [Mr Garrison]
    Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone whos not a
    complete retard. Anyone? C'mon, don't be shy.

    [Kyle]
    I think I know the answer Mr Garrison!

    [Cartman]
    Meh meh meh meh meh meh mehmeh!

    [Kyle]
    Shut up fat boy!

    [Cartman]
    AY! Don't call me fat, you fuckin' jew!

    [Mr Garrison]
    Eric! Did you just say the 'F' word?!

    [Cartman]
    Jew?

    [Kyle]
    No, he's talkin' about FUCK. You can't say FUCK in school, you
    fuckin' fat ass.

    [Mr Garrison]
    KYLE!

    [Cartman]
    Why the fuck not?

    [Mr Garrison]
    ERIC!

    [Stan]
    Dude, you just said fuck again!

    [Mr Garrison]
    STANLEY!

    [Kenny]
    (muffled) fuck

    [Mr Garrison]
    KENNY!

    [Cartman]
    What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody! Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!

    [Mr Garrison]
    How would you like to go see the school councellor?!

    [Cartman]
    How would you like to suck my balls?

    *big gasp from whole class*

    [Mr Garrison]
    WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!

    [Cartman]
    Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
    Actually, what I said was,
    *pulls out megaphone*
    "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR GARRISON?!?!"
     
  9. SoCal2NYC

    SoCal2NYC Well-Known Member

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    I love at the end of that how he Mr Garrison part has a slight pause and even formality to the way he says it.

    Also, another great line with Cartman is:
    "No it's because Kyle is a Jew, a J-O-O, Jew!"
     
  10. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    I love at the end of that how he Mr Garrison part has a slight pause and even formality to the way he says it.

    Also, another great line with Cartman is:
    "No it's because Kyle is a Jew, a J-O-O, Jew!"


    That's a good one!

    What about this one:

    Stan: Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly.
    Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
     
  11. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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  12. rxcats

    rxcats Well-Known Member

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    I know it's been brought up before in some huge thread; but, why is it that Jews feel their faith can be used for their nationality/ancestry/lineage?

    I guess you didn't find the previous explanations satisfactory?

    Science would tell us that Judaism is more than just a religious faith. My previous post on this thread addresses just that. Although my family is from Germany, Austria-Hungary, Prussia and Poland, my y-chromosome haplogroup is rare in those areas. The notable exception is among Jews. On the other hand, my haplogroup is the same as many Arabs (60-80% of Bedouin Arabs) and Samaritans (>80%). This would indicate that I share a liniage with other Jews and Semitic peoples rather than Germanic people.

    There are also various genetic disorders common in Jews that are not shared with other "Germans" and "Poles". Some of these include Tay-Sacs disease. 1:30 Ashkenazi Jews are carriers as compared to 1:300 of the general European population; if you are a carrier of Tay-Sacs, there is probably a "Jew in the woodpile". Askenazi Jews also have a very high incidence of BRCA mutations that predispose to breast/ovarian cancer. Being Jewish is also a risk factor for Crohn's disease. Part of taking a family history, for medical reasons, includes listing Jewish decent; I don't think physicians are concerned with the patient's "faith".

    Certainly both culture and faith are part of being Jewish and not every Jew is of Jewish decent. Until very recent times, conversion to Judaism was rare, but it is much more common now. In generations to come, this may have an impact on genotype and disease risk factors. This will not be seen in our lifetimes. As humans have become more mobile, intermarriage between all ethnic groups and nationalities have increased. One day we may all be homogeneous, but that day has not yet arrived.
     
  13. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Well-Known Member

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  14. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    Let me have some candy Cartman!

    Uhhhh let's see, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy!


    "If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, 'Hey. Why don't you stop ... dressing me like a mailman ... uh, and making me dance for you ... while you go and ... smoke crack in your bedroom ... and have sex with ... some guy ... I don't even know. On my dad's bed."
     
  15. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Well-Known Member

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    "If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, 'Hey. Why don't you stop ... dressing me like a mailman ... uh, and making me dance for you ... while you go and ... smoke crack in your bedroom ... and have sex with ... some guy ... I don't even know. On my dad's bed."

    You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucker!
     
  16. amerikajinda

    amerikajinda Well-Known Member

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    You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucker!

    "Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass?"
     
  17. dsholmes1

    dsholmes1 Well-Known Member

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    I'm regular black.....LOL!
     
  18. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

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    "Why is it that everything today has to do with things either going in or coming out of my ass?"

    Were there any tall, thin humanoids in the room? Any anal probing? Eviscerated cows in the general area?

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red Well-Known Member

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    You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucker!

    You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?
     
  20. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

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    You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?

    Mom, what's a rim job?
     

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