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Why didn't Natalie Wood shower on the yacht?

Discussion in 'Entertainment, Culture, and Sports' started by FLMountainMan, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Well-Known Member

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    She wanted to wash ashore.

    HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    So the LA PD is re-opening the investigation into the death of Natalie Wood. Unreal. The best they can hope for is involuntary manslaughter. And the trial will basically boil down to which octogenarian's drug-addled recollection of an event from thirty years ago is more believable. What a waste of time.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2011
  2. Thomas

    Thomas Well-Known Member

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    What species of wood doesn't float?
     
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  3. BowtieBandit

    BowtieBandit Member

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    The Sheriff's Office is bringing back the Natalie Wood case? Didn't they learn anything from bringing back Charlie's Angels? My guess is that they will cancel it after a couple of weeks with low ratings.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2011
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  4. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Well-Known Member

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    It'll sink faster than....well you know....
     
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  5. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Well-Known Member

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    Good stuff, guys.
    This afternoon the authorities have said Bob Wagner is not under investigation in the matter, which leaves only Walken and the Skipper. I think I'd like to be in a court room when both of those dudes are on the stand.
     
  6. Thomas

    Thomas Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if CWalken has had Natalie's watch shoved up his ass for the last 30 years, waiting for the truth to come out.
     
  7. FLMountainMan

    FLMountainMan Well-Known Member

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    Hopefully Walken will be the last man standing when this is all said and done, but I'm not sure. Here's the rundown, I don't know if drowning would be his weapon of choice to send Ms. Wood to the dead zone. But maybe he and his homeboy Robert Wagner and Natalie and the skipper were on that yacht and Walken thought to himself "Who am I this time?". He pondered this for a while, having a little brainstorm, when something went "click". He thought about his last embrace with Natalie, his mistress, and imagined they'd been America's sweethearts. He thought about how'd they'd been so happy, a true romance in every sense of the word. But he'd had a prophecy that Natalie and he were not meant to be. She's always had a wild side, stunk of excess hairspray, and carried lots of excess baggage. But her touch, a simple touch of her elegant hands could send him into a trance, make him fade to black whenever they touched. But she'd taken all that away from him when she found out about his other women. It felt like Walken's sun had been shot down on that day. He sough the comfort of strangers and gained an addiction to heroiine. He considered suicide. Kings do it, so it couldn't be that bad, right? But Walken held out and plotted, the vendetta raging at some times, simmering at others, but always there.

    He'd forgotten all about her, gone on to make it big in film, the veritable King of New York. But then one fateful day she walked back into his life, a blast from the past. She had Robert Wagner on his arm though, and Chris was filled with envy. A man on fire, he hatched a plan then. He would break their communion, he need only wait till he was in close range and had a view to a kill. It would be the all-american murder, a movie star cut down in her prime. He would strike then, with unrelenting force. Sure enough, Robert and Natalie eventually invited him onto their yacht that fateful day. They developed engine trouble. Robert tried to flag down a Coast Guard Cutter, but it was on a search and destroy mission for drug smugglers and ignored their cries help.

    Walken knew he had a deadline, the yacht wouldn't be stalled forever. Then, in the nick of time, he saw his chance. There was Natalie, eating popcorn shrimp and leaning way over the railing. Catch me if you can motherfuckers, he thought as he gave her a good shove overboard. She fell like a domino, tumbling into the cold ocean. She screamed for help, but the yacht soon slipped around the bend of the coast and she was out of sight. He'd accomplished his mission.

    The funeral was hard. Walken treated it like a day of atonement. He paid for Natalie's burial, and she and what would eventually be Robert's plot both had great views. That day, as Natalie crossed Heaven's Gate, he knew he'd won. No one suspected a thing. Except Robert. He glared at Walken the whole time, and vowed to never appear in any movie of significance ever again. Robert was full of rage but kept it all deep inside him. In his balls. His balls of fury.
     

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