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When it is actually YOU and not her

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Davidko19, Dec 18, 2010.

  1. Davidko19

    Davidko19 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,411
    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    I know its cliche, but I actually feel like its ME and not HER

    Short story... dated > year. Going great, but its so great i actually feel guilty. She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen. I know its not fair to lead her on either....

    I really feel bad about the cold hearted dump for two reason;

    A) Its the christmas season
    B) I just met her entire extended family, so they think I might be the one

    am I a pussy? In this delicate holiday season, how best should I proceed (NOTE :: She IS a teacher.. so better now than when school is in session...for the kids, and her personal sanity)
     
  2. willpower

    willpower Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,414
    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Location:
    West Coast
    You did the right thing. You didn't lead her on. You did her a favor, despite the pain she's experiencing and the guilt you're feeling. It would have been far worse had you led her on for a few more years.

    You're not ready to get married yet. It's good you know that. You'll know when the time is right. No rush.
     
  3. Big T

    Big T Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    235
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Location:
    Rural Penna.
    I respect your candidness with her - you did the right thing. It's way too easy to keep a relationship going when it should have ended months earlier.

    I think you ought to be the one giving the rest of us advice!
     
  4. ter1413

    ter1413 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    18,042
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2009
    Location:
    Central Booking
    why not just kinda stay close so you can further boan?
     
  5. Joffrey

    Joffrey Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,350
    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2006
    Location:
    Pennsylvania Ave/Connecticut Ave
    I know its cliche, but I actually feel like its ME and not HER

    Short story... dated > year. Going great, but its so great i actually feel guilty. She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen. I know its not fair to lead her on either....

    I really feel bad about the cold hearted dump for two reason;

    A) Its the christmas season
    B) I just met her entire extended family, so they think I might be the one

    am I a pussy? In this delicate holiday season, how best should I proceed (NOTE :: She IS a teacher.. so better now than when school is in session...for the kids, and her personal sanity)


    Wait til right after xmas. So she has the new year for a fresh start. If she's hot and puts out though, i'd strongly consider locking her down...
     
  6. Contingency Plan

    Contingency Plan Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    889
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2006
    Location:
    London
    Why don't you want marriage/kids/life with her?
     
  7. Monaco

    Monaco Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    803
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Why don't you want marriage/kids/life with her?

    In the long run, she'll appreciate your efforts for not wasting her time.
     
  8. TGPlastic

    TGPlastic Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    329
    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Location:
    DC and MD
    Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

    Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

    Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

    Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

    Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

    Good luck, bro.
     
  9. CouttsClient

    CouttsClient Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,974
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Location:
    Los Angeles/ DC/ The Gulf Coast/ Airplane...
    Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

    Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

    Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

    Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

    Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

    Good luck, bro.

    Maybe a bit crass but...there is good stuff in this post
     
  10. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,179
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
  11. kungapa

    kungapa Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    838
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2010
    I know its cliche, but I actually feel like its ME and not HER

    Short story... dated > year. Going great, but its so great i actually feel guilty. She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen. I know its not fair to lead her on either....

    I really feel bad about the cold hearted dump for two reason;

    A) Its the christmas season
    B) I just met her entire extended family, so they think I might be the one

    am I a pussy? In this delicate holiday season, how best should I proceed (NOTE :: She IS a teacher.. so better now than when school is in session...for the kids, and her personal sanity)


    Right girl, wrong time? Fear of commitment? The thinking that thinking about breaking up is a reason in and of itself to break up?
     
  12. cross22

    cross22 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,315
    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

    Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

    Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

    Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

    Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

    Good luck, bro.


    [​IMG]
     
  13. NORE

    NORE Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,495
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2010
    Location:
    Back On Here
    Try to take a deeper look. All to many times this happens when dude's not ready, she is, and he regrets it big time later. Thus spawned Facebook.
     
  14. Ben85

    Ben85 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    150
    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2010
    Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

    Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

    Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

    Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

    Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

    Good luck, bro.


    Best post I have read in a long time. Thanks for the laugh, guy.
     
  15. Lane

    Lane Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,996
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Location:
    dunno
    Great job, bro. Way to cut her loose. Now you can get back to club crawling and sport fucking with the rest of the Jersey Shore cast.

    Who do you plan to spend the holidays with 3 years from now? 5 years? 10 years? Etc. You wanna be 35 and doing Christmas with your parents (provided they're still alive)? Maybe you'll get to be the cool uncle for your sib's kids. Maybe they'll let you spend Christmas there. Or maybe you can just get some Chinese takeout or go to some adults-only Caribbean package vacation and chase some ass for the holidays.

    Also: be sure to ask yourself if this self-sabotage on account of your repressed gayness.

    Did you dump this lady because she was subtly challenging you to step up and be a man? (Because you just wanna be an adolescent.)

    Please disregard all of the above if she was a fatty.

    Good luck, bro.


    I got a boner from this post
     
  16. acidboy

    acidboy Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,170
    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    She want marraige, kids, etc... and sees that future with me. That is so far beyond me I dont want to speak the words. We had the "talk" and I told her I dunno what will happen.

    better you told her now than later.
     
  17. Big T

    Big T Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    235
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2010
    Location:
    Rural Penna.
    why not just kinda stay close so you can further boan?

    Got to agree with this sage advice. Of my ex's, I had one that would melt like butter when we ran into one another. In my 58 years, she was some of the best boning there ever was, though she was mostly void in the Ta-Ta region and had quite the rump. Maybe that was the right physique for bonification?
     

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