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What were your college graduation gifts?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GreenFrog, May 22, 2011.

  1. HelloIDistance

    HelloIDistance Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    686
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    Oct 7, 2008
    Location:
    Detroit
    When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

    I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."


    I envy you to the highest degree.
     
  2. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Well-Known Member

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    15,831
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    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

    I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."


    I have to admit that dialog is your strongest suit as a writer. [​IMG]
     
  3. oDD_LotS

    oDD_LotS Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    458
    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2004
    Location:
    West Virginia/Ohio
    I got around a grand or two in cash for high school graduation (helped to get some stuff I needed for college). College graduation, I don't remember getting much. A few cards, maybe a little money from family, a nice lunch with family after the commencement ceremony.

    I'll be graduating again in May of '12 (career change) with a more difficult and lucrative degree, and I expect that I will receive little to nothing. Probably going to pick myself up a great box of cigars, probably a really nice watch once I've passed my professional certification.
     
  4. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

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    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    the university gave me a nice piece of paper with my name on it and the name of my degree. My mother bought me lunch. The rest was on me.
     
  5. Don Carlos

    Don Carlos Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,527
    Joined:
    May 15, 2009
    I got around a grand or two in cash for high school graduation (helped to get some stuff I needed for college). College graduation, I don't remember getting much. A few cards, maybe a little money from family, a nice lunch with family after the commencement ceremony.

    I'll be graduating again in May of '12 (career change) with a more difficult and lucrative degree, and I expect that I will receive little to nothing. Probably going to pick myself up a great box of cigars, probably a really nice watch once I've passed my professional certification.


    How delightfully middle class.
     
  6. Biggskip

    Biggskip Well-Known Member

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    Feb 10, 2008
    Location:
    Believeland
    When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together. I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."
    Reminds me of the brilliant SNL sketch Old French Whore. My parents gave me $1k and a decent set of silverware. I still have the silverware to this day and consider it to be one of the practical gifts I've ever received.
     
  7. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    14,235
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    Oct 20, 2008
    While receiving money was nice, I really wish I had a job [​IMG] I would trade all the money I received as gifts for a job. in a heartbeat.
     
  8. yjeezle

    yjeezle Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Jan 6, 2010
    i didn't ask for anything since they already paid for my college and my car and i didn't get anything in return.
     
  9. spb_lady

    spb_lady Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    364
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2010
    Location:
    HCMC, Vietnam
    the university gave me a nice piece of paper with my name on it and the name of my degree. My mother bought me lunch. The rest was on me.

    the same here. was i supposed to get a gift? dammit. will call my mom today to clear it up [​IMG]
     
  10. P-K-L

    P-K-L Well-Known Member

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    I got a watch, a Breguet.
     
  11. Jayhawk1412

    Jayhawk1412 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Oct 8, 2008
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    I got $$$ and a new Macbook.

    And 4 years of college with no student loans.

    I'm grateful
     
  12. HelloIDistance

    HelloIDistance Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    686
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    Oct 7, 2008
    Location:
    Detroit
    My mom and dad bought me a real nice clock inside a globe. Hard to explain...but it is very classy, fits my style, and I will keep it forever. I also received a little cash.
     
  13. gwolf

    gwolf Well-Known Member

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    Feb 7, 2011
    a mont blanc pen. a fake one. fml!
     
  14. bingebag

    bingebag Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2011
    Location:
    Orlando, FL
    When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

    I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."


    This is the funniest thing that I've read on SF. Thumbs up.

    I graduate in a year and want to get my hands on either a Omega seamaster or a speedmaster. I want something that I will wear for the rest of my life.
     
  15. in stitches

    in stitches Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Oct 10, 2010
    Location:
    Charm City
    ...I see kids wearing Pateks.

    What did you guys get?


    I got a watch, a Breguet.

    this makes me green

    When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

    I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."


    thats fucked up. hilarious and very well written, but fucked up none the less

    i got a few checks and small gifts.
     
  16. robbie

    robbie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    May 3, 2007
    Location:
    Nebraska
    A $30k college education without having to pay for it.

    fuck, i'm jealous.

    I got about $200 worth of gifts when I graduated HS. My grandfather told me 'don't buy the cow if you can get the milk for free' and gave me 2 or 3 oz of Johnny Walker Blue. My dad bought me the best steak I'd had up to that point. My mom gave me a nice hug and a cheesy card.

    I am on hiatus from college. If/when I finish I'll buy myself something nice . It's taken me so long I'll likely get a lot of 'it's about damn time' s when I graduate.
     
  17. ratboycom

    ratboycom Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,682
    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2006
    Location:
    Nagoya, Japan
    I graduated back in December and will be attending my ceremony in two weeks. I'm pretty sure I'll get nothing from the parents and no one but my friends who live here will attend the ceremony. At least the school is throwing a cocktail party afterwards. Im gonna get a $60,000 drunk that will hopefully last until I get into some sort of career.
     
  18. AntiHero84

    AntiHero84 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,425
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Location:
    Long Island
    Undergrad: A very large gold-tone Seiko Chrono

    [​IMG]

    Grad: A simple military styled Victorinox (This time of my own choosing.)

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Jarandas

    Jarandas Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    191
    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2010
    Location:
    Malaga, Spain (on the verge of collapse)
    My parents bought me a Nissan Micra, and paid my college tuition.
     
  20. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    50,189
    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2006
    Location:
    In My Douchemobile
    I didn't even get a phone call and I didn't attend my undergrad ceremony. I was working that night, at the place where I worked for a few years on Detroit's Brick Town, but a bunch of classmates came over after the ceremony to party. There were rooms rented nearby, so I did get to drink all night and ended up scoring with a classmate.

    So I guess you can say I got something the night I graduated.
     

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