What to wear if you're unattractive

[hotspur]

I have been wondering lately if it is worth trying to dress nice if you belong to the so-called genetic lower class. I pose this question particularly to those currently attending a university. Reguardless of your success in academics, or how fit or wealthy you may be; is there purpose in drawing attention to yourself with attractive clothing if you yourself are not so. I recently found myself at a fraternity that I usually do not goto, and was amoungst a crowd of attractive, very outgoing people who immediately made me feel self conscious. I do not think that I am unattractive, but when you find yourself amoung a class of very unaverage people, it can easily seem so. Sometimes I feel like it may almost be a mockery, to try and look nice when the first feature everyone notices is something you cannot change by how you dress. On the other hand there is no virtue in dressing like a slob. What are your opinions on this?

 

[seen]

I'm no 6'4 attractive white male with swimmer's body, I know how you feel. Sometimes some guys can be in a garbage bag and still look better than you with your designer clothes that cost you x number of dollars.

But physical beauty is only skin deep, what it really comes down to is having a great, magnetic personality (well, also the only hope for 'genetic lower class'). I think dressing nice contributes more to that magnetic personality of yours, rather than just physically look better than you really do.

 

[dusty]

Nice-looking, well-fitting clothing can be used to make you look attractive in implicit ways, not just the purely sexual way. So yeah, it's worth it.

 

[designprofessor]

To the extent you can be comfortable with yourself, your clothes can accentuate this. Regardless of what you are wearing if you are likable person to be around, people will respond. Forgive me, i don't mean to sound preachy here.
But to answer your question, good clothes help if you are comfortable with them and in them.

 

[Rome]

Your choice in clothing can say more about your person upon further inspection than face I think (physiognomy aside). Then again it all depends on what superficiality any group seems to judge its constituents by. Here its working buttonholes there it may be some physical beauty archetype.

 

[stach]

Clothing that is mantained well and a good fit is an asset to anybody. Elegant clothing does not have to scream 'look at me'. If you don't like your face there's always cosmetic surgery.

 

[Nantucket Red]

Personality and brains trump looks. I know a number of people who are living proof.

And nice clothes certainly never hurt. They can give you confidence in how you look and create a positive impression in others if they help project an image you're comfortable with.

 

[josepidal]

The problem is your premise that good clothes (or rather, a well put-together ensemble regardless of the actual clothing quality) call attention to you.

I think we all know a lot of unattractive people who benefit from dressing properly. At the very least you look neat.

The rest is personality and confidence, which you have to supply on your own!

 

[justlurkingthanks]

Dressing badly would put you at a double disadvantage.

And I should add, a blah-looking guy with confidence and a good sense of humor always trumps a good-looking, arrogant moron.

 

[raley]

I think you have to be aware of your situation and how you are dressing. If you go to a frat party and everyone is wearing jeans and polo shirts and sandals, but you show up in a Brioni, obviously you will be calling attention to yourself - this is bad.

If you show up in jeans that are better than the A&F/Gap/Levis that everyone else is wearing, a better fitting polo, a nice belt, and nice trainers, you will look better than everyone else and feel more confident. This is going to help.

Although this advice is pretty universal. I think the attitude that you are carrying is pretty unhealthy and it is just going to exacerbate and "problem" there actually is. If you think of yourself in this light, then when you are in the situation it will still be in your subconscious and it is going to affect how you carry yourself. Be confident, and be positive, and dress well for the situation.

That's my take anyhow.

 

[Dakota rube]

raley touches on the most important aspect of "attractiveness: confidence. I have encountered many flat-out butt-ugly people in my life (some would say in my own mirror!) who exuded such confidence in their being, to some extent in and through their manner of dress, that their physical appearance became a non-issue.

 

[teddieriley]

I echo the thoughts here. I notice that when I dress up or wear nice clothes, it boosts my confidence even more. I notice my walk changes (especially with a suit) that exudes more confidence.

If none of that helps, you can always make sure your friends are all uglier than you. The only problem with that is you can expect women not to come within 10 feet of your group. Or you can hang out with the studs and try to get their leftovers.

Hmm...based on that, I wonder where I come in.

 

[pkincy]

Good clothing may fix the external problem, but being uncomfortable in a large room of people (good looking or not) is really an internal problem. And one that can be addressed. The goal is to become extremely comfortable with who you are and that comfort and serenity will show even if you are naked.

And many thousands of people have benefited from professional (some secular and some religious) help in developing that feeling of comfort and serenity. For those of us that have been in both camps, the latter is a hell of a lot more fun.

Perry

 

[gorgekko]

It's all in your head, man. If you walk into a room and feel self-conscious because you think you're ugly, there's no appropriate clothing on Earth for you.

Own the room. It's yours only if you want it.

I consider myself to be average but I had three woman call me "hot" last night. It isn't because I look like Brad Pitt but because I own the room. It's all self-confidence brother. Be second to no one. But don't be an ass either, no one likes that.

 

[seen]

Originally Posted by gorgekko

I consider myself to be average but I had three woman call me "hot" last night. It isn't because I look like Brad Pitt but because I own the room. It's all self-confidence brother. Be second to no one. But don't be an ass either, no one likes that.

I see you're from Ontario, so am I. Where do you find your hot women? A particular bar?