What do you do when your wife/GF is away?

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by RSS

(...)

I'll add, my parents gave me some good advice way back when. Don't go into marriage with assumptions about your partner ... make certain to talk things through ... lay it on the table ... know what you are getting into. On this note, a few years ago a good friend got divorced, and his wife said to me, "Don is too free-spirited. Even after we married, he never changed." I remember saying in return, "If you had an expectation of change, it would have been good to know whether or not there was the possibility of it being fulfilled before you got married. Did it never occur to you to ask?"

That ought to be required reading for anyone fixin' to get married.

 

[mkarim]

Originally Posted by Thomas

That ought to be required reading for anyone fixin' to get married.

There's a saying: A woman marries a man expecting that he will change and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change and she does.

 

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by mkarim

There's a saying: A woman marries a man expecting that he will change and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change and she does.

Yeah, but lots of people get married thinking that they're special and this certainly won't happen to them. Special flowers and eternal love and all that.

BTW: I think it was a paraphrase of Oscar Wilde. iirc: A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, and a man marries a woman expecting she won't. Both are disappointed.

 

[Rambo]

Some sage wisdom from RSS in this thread.

 

[Piobaire]

Originally Posted by RSS

I like this answer.

Thank you. I'm lucky to feel this way, IMO.

 

[RSS]

Thanks fellows.

While I'm often one to make a flippant remark of a post -- and #82 verged on that -- what I've written in this thread is sincere. I'm not saying that I have all the answers. Although, being sixty-something and in a relationship that has lasted more than 30 years, I do think I have some expierence. Honesty and openness upfront about wants, needs, hopes, and expectations* have worked for me.

The two of us have shared many wonderful moments. And there have been some difficult times as well. That said, the good has far, far outweighed the bad. Of course, in between the highs and the lows, have been countless hours of everyday ordinary living ... some of it together ... some apart. We each have professional, volunteer, family, social and other commitments that have us apart fairly frequently. But we relish each other's company, so when we are together, we put effort into making the otherwise ordinary times as enjoyable as possible.

Piobaire's comment to the original question, "I do pretty much the same thing as when she's here, I just don't have my usual partner in crime with me to enjoy things," really struck a chord with me ... as I think that's how we see one another.

Now whether you like my advice or not is up to you. But if you take it, remember to tweek it as necessary to make it yours.

* Oh...about expectations and hopes, I suggest hopes as opposed to expectations. I'll paraphrase a short dialogue as example:

Lace: "So, let me ask you something, George. When a man comes over with a basket full of tomatoes, what is he expecting? Dinner?"

George: "Nah, no, no. Just hoping."

George got dinner!

 

[NameBack]

Originally Posted by CouttsClient

This is what most people say but I find that it doesn't make sense. It's not necessarily a competition. It has it's own virtues

I suppose. I just personally find myself not particularly needing or desiring to masturbate if I'm ********** regularly.

If I go a few days without sex, then I start wanting to whack it constantly.

Also I find for some reason that I perform better in bed if I refrain from masturbating, or keep it to a minimum. For some reason, ********** four times in a day doesn't seem to be the same thing as masturbating four times in a day, as far as ******** is concerned.

 

[Gus]

RSS....thanks for sharing your thoughts. They were a gem on SF.

 

[acidboy]

good ones from RSS and Pio definitely...

and to answer the OP question- yeah I pretty much do the same stuff when the wife's not around. I pretty much can do what I want anyways, and we have a mutual respect of our personal space and all that. the only difference is no one hogs the blanket anymore, and I don't see hair and make up products strewn around the bathroom sink.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

^ If you adopted me, I'd take you clubbing.

 

[Stu]

Originally Posted by Nil

Marrying a woman who doesn't like Indian food is kind of a fail.

buttsechs, the great equalizer.

 

[philosophe]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

I do pretty much the same thing as when she's here, I just don't have my usual partner in crime with me to enjoy things.

Mostly this for me, too. Sometimes I catch up on work or household stuff.

Great posts, RSS.

 

[acidboy]

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

^ If you adopted me, I'd take you clubbing.

 

[DrMoBueno]

Marriage, a young man's folly and an old man's comfort.

I don't have to look over my shoulder every now and again to make sure the coast is clear when I'm on the phone or on the internet.

Post-it to remind myself to reset the browser and clean the cache, because...

The worst I've ever experienced [second-hand] was when a friend's wife came back home, went on the computer, and the recent google searches were all for area strip clubs. We didn't even go, we pussed out, not that she believed it.

 

[NORE]

Originally Posted by DrMoBueno

Marriage, a young man's folly and an old man's comfort.

I don't have to look over my shoulder every now and again to make sure the coast is clear when I'm on the phone or on the internet.

Post-it to remind myself to reset the browser and clean the cache, because...

The worst I've ever experienced [second-hand] was when a friend's wife came back home, went on the computer, and the recent google searches were all for area strip clubs. We didn't even go, we pussed out, not that she believed it.

tools>internet options>clear browsing history every time Firefox closes>save.