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Valuable advice to most Americans

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by dkzzzz, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. carlhuber

    carlhuber Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    143
    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Some pizza is too thin to pick up easily. Some pizza is too loaded with toppings or thick-of-crust to take polite bites. What kind of idiot issues a blanket statement that it's anathema or required to use or not use utensils?
     
  2. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,813
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    I despise people who compulsively follow professional sports and talk all the time about them. It is the most plebian trait one can develop.
    Heaven forfend we act like plebes!
    Scorning fun and interesting things because one considers such plebian pleasures to be unworthy of one's exalted status is the most large-piece-of-lumber-up-the-ass traits one can develop.
     
  3. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,813
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Do you know any good hotels in Paris under $400? Ken Pollock wants to know and I think you'd get along with him.


    j., do we have a troll smiley?

    [​IMG]
     
  4. aybojs

    aybojs Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    957
    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2002
    Heaven forfend we act like plebes!
    Scorning fun and interesting things because one considers such plebian pleasures to be unworthy of one's exalted status is the most large-piece-of-lumber-up-the-ass traits one can develop.


    Some variation of this needs to be an official forum motto.
     
  5. j

    j Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    14,914
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2002
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Blanket statements are always completely stupid. Only an idiot would make a blanket statement.
     
  6. odoreater

    odoreater Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    8,739
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    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    Elizabethtown
    I despise people who compulsively follow professional sports and talk all the time about them. It is the most plebian trait one can develop.

    You got picked last in gym class didn't you?

    [​IMG]
     
  7. seanchai

    seanchai Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    948
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    I despise people who compulsively follow professional sports and talk all the time about them. It is the most plebian trait one can develop.

    I thought this was about Americans? I knew we had the best professional sports in the world, but I didn't know we had the ONLY ones... [​IMG]
     
  8. muelleran

    muelleran Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    242
    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2006
    Location:
    Zurich
    First let me point out that there are two things I really hate: Gross generalizations about other peoples and the damn Dutch.

    Americans I kindly ask to refrain from the following:

    When riding on the train and talking on your cell phone remember that people who sit ten meters away from you don't care what you are talking about and might even be bothered by the noise you are giving off. To the Gentleman from this afternoon: Thanks for sharing all about the "presssure cell" you were trying to purcase - One of these days I am going to cut (one of) you into little pieces.

    Don't assume that American culture will take over the world: Don't say things like: Well, in Switzerland they don't have Halloween YET.

    Don't expect Europeans to be dressed in some sort of Swiss or German clothes and then take the fact that they are not as proof that they took over American culture. Don't say things like: all kids in Germany are dressed like Americans, they all wear Addidas and Puma.

    Stop wearing shorts in town. Don't tell us that we can do it too if we complain about it.

    Henry Ford did not invent the automobile.
     
  9. Tokyo Slim

    Tokyo Slim Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Apr 28, 2004
    Location:
    Where Eagles Dare!
    They dont have Halloween in Switzerland yet?

    I'll bring that up at the next "American World Domination meeting". I'm not sure anyone was aware of that.
     
  10. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,813
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    Mar 10, 2006
    Don't assume that American culture will take over the world: Don't say things like: Well, in Switzerland they don't have Halloween YET.

    [​IMG] I LOVE that. God Bless Friggin' America. I'm going to start using variations of that around non-American friends every chance I get. Maybe I can drop one of those on hapless European tourists before I direct them to the wrong freeway onramp . . .
     
  11. designprofessor

    designprofessor Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,483
    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Location:
    tornado alley
    Valuable advice to Americans:

    Keep bathing more than foreigners.
    Americans are loud, but I feel that for the most part our
    armpits are less potent.
     
  12. redcaimen

    redcaimen Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,092
    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2006
    Don't assume that American culture will take over the world: Don't say things like: Well, in Switzerland they don't have Halloween YET.


    We dont really have Halloween in the States anymore. It used to be a big deal, but a big deal limited to those under 13 or 14. Now adults view it as something they should be participating in and have pretty much ruined it.
     
  13. Kent Wang

    Kent Wang Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,720
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    May 5, 2005
    Location:
    London
    I don't know about you but Halloween is the biggest party date in my social circles, even bigger than New Years Eve. Everyone loves costumes.
     
  14. odoreater

    odoreater Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    Elizabethtown
    A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, können Sie Deutsch sprechen?" He asks. The two Americans just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez-vous français?" The two continue to stare. "Parlate italiano?" No response. "Hablan Ustedes espagnol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

    The first American turns to the second and says: "You know, maybe we should learn a foreign language..."

    "Why?" says the other, "that guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

    [​IMG]
     
  15. A Harris

    A Harris Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,582
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2003
    I first saw this when some English friends of mine visited us back in 2001. I am still laughing at them [​IMG]
     
  16. Aureus

    Aureus Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    230
    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2006
    Location:
    So. Cal.
    1. When in restaurant do not try to out-yell the music that usually blaring through speakers.

    2. When conversing in a crowded bar/restaurant, talk at a normal volume or sit closer. Stop yelling you platitudes over entire city block.

    3. When laughing try to laugh like a human and not like a horse. Reduce volume 10 fold. This advice is equally important to men and women.

    4. Stop whistling in public places!!!

    5. Chew with your mouth closed and without sounds!

    6. Cover your mouth with your hand when yawning.

    7. Once in a while eat your lunch with fork and knife instead of your both hands.

    8. Talk less often about sports or new cars.


    Feel free to add.


    [​IMG]
     
  17. itsmeJT

    itsmeJT Active Member

    Messages:
    34
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2006
    1. When in restaurant do not try to out-yell the music that usually blaring through speakers.

    2. When conversing in a crowded bar/restaurant, talk at a normal volume or sit closer. Stop yelling you platitudes over entire city block.

    3. When laughing try to laugh like a human and not like a horse. Reduce volume 10 fold. This advice is equally important to men and women.

    4. Stop whistling in public places!!!

    5. Chew with your mouth closed and without sounds!

    6. Cover your mouth with your hand when yawning.

    7. Once in a while eat your lunch with fork and knife instead of your both hands.

    8. Talk less often about sports or new cars.


    Feel free to add.


    agree on all points
     
  18. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,742
    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Location:
    Upper East Coast
    Heaven forfend we act like plebes!
    Scorning fun and interesting things because one considers such plebian pleasures to be unworthy of one's exalted status is the most large-piece-of-lumber-up-the-ass traits one can develop.


    Oh, come on . . . a 6x8 isn't all that big.
     
  19. acidboy

    acidboy Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    21,170
    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    They dont have Halloween in Switzerland yet?

    I'll bring that up at the next "American World Domination meeting". I'm not sure anyone was aware of that.


    does it also have an online forum?
     
  20. hopkins_student

    hopkins_student Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,218
    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2004
    Location:
    North Carolina
    One of these days I am going to cut (one of) you into little pieces.

    What does this mean?
     

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