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Transparent Moderation Log & Site Topics - Part I

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by j, May 7, 2006.

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  1. JetBlast

    JetBlast Well-Known Member

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    Also, I don't think that the generic responses are "phony" just because they don't mean literally what they say. Specifically I think saying "sorry to hear that" is just a bit of encouragement and comisseration. It is polite and harmless much like saying "bless you" or "pleased to meet you."

    +1. How can anyone tell whose responses are "phony" and who actually cares? I don't see much of an ability to tell over an internet forum.

    I'm not trying to flare an argument with why or anyone for that matter, I just think some of the comments were a bit out of line. Just my opinion.
     
  2. rebenga

    rebenga Well-Known Member

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    Good grief, you guys really got your iPanties in a bunch.
     
  3. why

    why Well-Known Member

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    I just think moreso than anything that my distaste for what I consider shallow and uncaring responses is being falsely masqueraded around as insensitivity toward death and specifically the loss of gabby's mother.

    What comments do you consider out of line?
     
  4. thekunk07

    thekunk07 Well-Known Member

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    nah, it's just everyone's distaste for you.
     
  5. Thomas

    Thomas Well-Known Member

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    I agree... but I think that's too easy and that's my problem. Our loved ones deserve more than that... more than just "social politeness," I think. I think the automatic "I'm sorry for you" is a sham and of the dozens of forums on which I've been... they are ALWAYS offered in a general, blanket fashion when these types of threads come up. I've lost a LOT of people in my life, for as young as I am... and I just think it's all phony.

    Again, I'm not going to go down with that ship, because I'm not going to tell ANYBODY how to express grief. I just wanted to at least TRY to add that REAL people, REAL loved ones, are worth more than our "polite" offers of sympathy. Thus, I think we shouldn't solicit them from others online, or offer them ourselves.

    And, that why decided to make that issue on that thread, though perhaps misplaced, nevertheless does NOT warrant disciplinary action.


    You know, I posted condolences in that thread, not because I knew the OP or the extent of his loss - I just assumed it was a big loss to him, being his mother and such a surprise. Maybe this is a knee-jerk reaction, maybe his mom deserves more, maybe the world is a poorer place and this passing deserves more than a quickly-typed sentence.

    I totally see where you and why are coming from with your comments, and I agree with you to a point that a lot of polite sympathy is short-lived at best, and at times is a sham.

    But that said, I do genuinely wish the OP well, and that quickly-typed sentence is all I can offer. I think I'd rather do that little bit to comfort the OP than just walk by the thread and keep quiet.
     
  6. JetBlast

    JetBlast Well-Known Member

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    I just think moreso than anything that my distaste for what I consider shallow and uncaring responses is being falsely masqueraded around as insensitivity toward death and specifically the loss of gabby's mother.

    What comments do you consider out of line?


    This one-
    Since you brought it up...

    Fake suicide: Woe is me! (takes pills)
    Real suicide: I love you all. (stands on chair, ties noose around neck, takes pills)


    Do you really consider this funny?
     
  7. why

    why Well-Known Member

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    This one- Do you really consider this funny?
    Did I act like it was funny? The fact that you think this is a joking matter to me further proves my point that you can't see what I'm trying to say at face value. You're adding a personal spin to this because you added personal comments to the thread. We've already been over this before in this thread. Not only did you invite that response after I clearly made a point about not wanting to say it, but I also edited the comments out a while ago.
     
  8. Douglas

    Douglas Well-Known Member

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    Wow. Just read the thread. Not sure how why's comments could be read as anything besides dickheadish. Still, JB, you are maybe the first one who hijacked the thread. I'm saddened to hear you have attempted what you stated, as you strike me as a very put-together and mature fellow (not that these are mutually exclusive things, what would I know?). Stating what you stated might have best been conveyed in a PM, and would have avoided at least some of the back-and-forth that now dominate the thread.

    In any event, I'm sure the OP is feeling just great having read what his post spawned. Good times.
     
  9. JetBlast

    JetBlast Well-Known Member

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    but I also edited the comments out a while ago.

    Which is appreciated, but you requested that I quote what I found offensive about it, and I did. Apparently you have a way of thinking about this topic that I and other posters do not understand, and I'm not going to argue with you about it. If you want to do it via PM, go right ahead and send me one, but I see no point in clogging up Trans Mod with this crap.
     
  10. grimslade

    grimslade Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if I missed things that got edited down, but I think I'm with why on this. You post this stuff on SF, it becomes what it becomes. If the OP wanted his thread pristine, he shouldn't have sent it out into the world.
     
  11. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

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    as you were Gents....if you want to start a suicide appreciation thread, go ahead. Please keep it 1/ out of trans mod and 2/ not in any way offensive to the personal tragedy that has just befallen one of our members.
     
  12. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red Well-Known Member

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    Having lost my father to suicide when I was 6, this discussion makes me sad and angry. It's obvious from some of the callous comments here that most of you haven't the vaguest idea of how devastating the suicide of a parent is. It's certainly no joking matter and not an occasion for some of the appalling remarks I've read here and on the thread in question.

    As for expressing condolences, it's simply the decent thing to do. When my mother died unexpectedly of a sudden heart attack last April, many people on SF offered their sympathies. Even small expressions like "sorry to hear of your loss" helped. A few members PMed me their condolences. It helped buoy my spirits when I was close to complete emotional collapse. In particular, Globetrotter (whom I've met in person) got in touch every couple of days to ask how I was doing and offer his support. It's hard to exaggerate how much I appreciated his consideration and still do.

    I hate to think how Gabby feels having to endure comments like Why's and the ensuing pigpile when he had the courage to share the tragic story of his mother's suicide. Again, the entire discussion makes me sad and angry -- fighting-back-tears sad and angry. [​IMG]
     
  13. jpeirpont

    jpeirpont Well-Known Member

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    Having lost my father to suicide when I was 6, this discussion makes me sad and angry. It's obvious from some of the callous comments here that most of you haven't the vaguest idea of how devastating the suicide of a parent is. It's certainly no joking matter and not an occasion for some of the appalling remarks I've read here and on the thread in question.

    As for expressing condolences, it's simply the decent thing to do. When my mother died unexpectedly of a sudden heart attack last April, many people on SF offered their sympathies. Even small expressions like "sorry to hear of your loss" helped. A few members PMed me their condolences. It helped buoy my spirits when I was close to complete emotional collapse. In particular, Globetrotter (whom I've met in person) got in touch every couple of days to ask how I was doing and offer his support. It's hard to exaggerate how much I appreciated his consideration and still do.

    I hate to think how Gabby feels having to endure comments like Why's and the ensuing pigpile when he had the courage to share the tragic story of his mother's suicide. Again, the entire discussion makes me sad and angry -- fighting-back-tears sad and angry. [​IMG]

    Sorry to to hear the Red, I never knew.
    I'm glad I missed the thread you mentioned. Why has always been particularly useless.
     
  14. edmorel

    edmorel Well-Known Member

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    I truly don't understand why it bothers anyone if someone offers condolences or if someone mentions that they are saddened about the lost of another. If you don't want to offer any condolences, then just don't post anything. I love breaking balls and joking around but I am not going to act stupid in that type of thread just to get a point across. I also thought JB showed very poor taste in posting his comment and then getting upset with people when they called him on it. I know and typically agree with the "if you post it on the internet, be prepared for anything" mentality but we should still act as compassionate adults occasionally. I did not post anything because truthfully, I've never had any interaction with the poster, have been lucky to not know anyone in a similar circumstance and can't say that I really felt anything more than I would if I had heard about the story on the news but I wasn't going to shit up his thread for my amusement.
     
  15. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member

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    I understand that this is an important and sensitive subject for many here. However, this is not the right thread on which to post about it. Please heed M@T's post, and start a thread elsewhere if you need to. Please do not discuss the matter here further. Thanks,

    Fok.
     
  16. VKK3450

    VKK3450 Well-Known Member

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    I'm feeling oppressed by the heavy handed moderation.

    No moderation without representation.

    K
     
  17. X-It

    X-It Well-Known Member

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    I would like to thank you guys for making me feel better today.

    I can't believe it that just by reading threads (DT of course, where else, huh?!) I almost forgot how sick I really am this last couple days.

    Thank you very much. [​IMG]
     
  18. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member

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    I understand that this is an important and sensitive subject for many here. However, this is not the right thread on which to post about it. Please heed M@T's post, and start a thread elsewhere if you need to. Please do not discuss the matter here further. Thanks,

    Fok.


    I'm serious. This thread is not to be derailed and further. I've already had to delete one post. The next person is going to get themselves a few days in the can.
     
  19. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member

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    I'm feeling oppressed by the heavy handed moderation.

    No moderation without representation.

    K


    You can start a thread in CE on "Justice vs. Order" which will be transported to Dumb Threads after a while.
     
  20. LA Guy

    LA Guy Opposite Santa Staff Member

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    To have the last word in this matter, and to sate my didactic urges, I am going to ask all of you to read Marshall McLuhan's thoughts on "retribalization." I think that the man was pretty prescient.
     
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