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To all the successful, experienced members - Was it all worth it?

Discussion in 'Business, Careers & Education' started by LooksGood, Feb 17, 2013.

  1. LooksGood

    LooksGood Well-Known Member

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    I'll be 29 soon, and am going through an existential crisis. I grew up very poor and tried to do everything by the book to escape my hellish earlier years. So before college I pretty much just studied, in college it was study and work, and after graduation it's work; I have never partied hard(never even smoked weed).

    I'm frantically trying to climb the corporate ladder because I think money is the biggest/kind of only thing that can make me find happiness. Of course everyone will say family is, but not until I get married(mother left when I was younger, etc.). People have told me I'm obsessed with money, power, and respect. When you and your family sorely lacked those things growing up you tend to want it even more.

    But I can't help but think how much not taking advantage of my youth will cause severe regret when I'm older.

    So to those of you who are very successful(>=200k/yr or net worth >= 1.5 million) and are 47 years old and up, and had to scramble at the expense of your social life when you were younger because you were born poor, has your success been worth it?

    Keep in mind that if you are ridiculously rich and say "yeah it was worth it" that might be a little obvious.

    I voiced a similar concern in an earlier thread and the general consensus was to take time off and travel. I've actually done that, though maybe not for as long as they were suggesting. I didn't gain much from it. I don't think I should try it again since my career is just starting to get into second gear.

    Thanks
     
  2. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Well-Known Member

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    First, go smoke some weed and think about all these things you've been thinking about lately.

    You will have a better understanding.
     
  3. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Well-Known Member

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    In my opinion 'Career' is rarely what makes someone really happy with their life. A good career seems to be a cornerstone, however it is not the only thing.

    Of my friends in the successful camp, those that seem the happiest are well traveled, have a good relationship, some healthy hobbies and generally do not compare themselves regularly to others or ever even talk about money. Those that seem much less so are often comparing themselves to others and have nothing but career.

    There are some outliers but they are rare. Everyone knows the person who is extremely successful and seemingly very happy with their life and also the person who basically floats about without a dollar or a care who also manages to find happiness.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Bhowie

    Bhowie Well-Known Member

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    Running the trap house.
    Happiness is a state of mind.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. globetrotter

    globetrotter Well-Known Member

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    I just barely fall into the income range, 46, not the net worth range. I was dirt poor, too. I am happy that I can afford to live reasonably well and give my family a good life. I honestly don't need more than I have, and if I sacrificed more and worked harder and took more risks, I could probably make more money. so you have to find the balance, you want a reasonable amount of disposable income, but you need to be able to spend time with your spouce/kids, you want to have some time for yourself, you want to enjoy your job, more or less.

    reading, that doens't sound too helpful. good luck
     
  6. norcaltransplant

    norcaltransplant Well-Known Member

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    I'm slightly older than you (34), and adhered to a similar route of studying hard throughout college and, later, working hard in my twenties. My upbringing was very middle class, though I attended high school with a pretty affluent crowd. I was never obsessed with "power, money, and respect" as you describe it, though, as I hit my thirties, I realize that my career has become more a lifestyle than just a job. I enjoy my work at least 70-80% of the time though I also wonder about the life I'm missing (e.g. marriage, kids, extended vacations, three-day weekends, etc.).

    Browse your Facebook updates, pick out activities that bring you happiness, and then incorporate them into your own life. Afterwards, take some time to read your old posts and try to formulate an honest reply to your original questions

    Edit #1: replying to this thread is a cathartic activity.
    Edit #2: I'm still waiting on my career to move into second gear (management position)
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2013
  7. Joffrey

    Joffrey Well-Known Member

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    Nothing wrong with being very driven. However, since you are particularly worried about "losing your youth", what do you want out of taking advantage of it? Living in a dingy studio eating ramen and drinking PBrs? Sleeping with random waify hipsters? Backpacking across Kurdistan? Why can't you be an ambitious, work aholic, young guy?
     
  8. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

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    I partied all of my teens and most of my 20s away. Not sure what to tell you.
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    I think GreenFrog has it covered.
     
  10. bringusingoodale

    bringusingoodale Well-Known Member

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    I think it will be worth it.

    Not answering directly, but I have 30 something friends and know friend of friends who are pushing 40 with no assets, little work experience. I suppose they were the typical 'too cool for school' crowd.

    Frankly, it is quite pathetic to be in that situation.

    I say keep working hard, buy some apartments, make some more investments and learn to be a self-reliant good citizen.

    Oh, and there are many women today, given the economic change of events, who place gainful employment and wealth above the traditional criteria, so what I am saying is you can also get your pick of women if you play it right.
     
  11. ahdaeeeee

    ahdaeeeee Well-Known Member

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    May actually the only advice that is worth listening to. Hahahah!
     
  12. LooksGood

    LooksGood Well-Known Member

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    No, your post was along the lines of what I was looking for. Although you were poor, did you have a good social life growing up? Because people can be poor and have a good social life, unfortunately that wasn't the case for me because I went to school with a bunch of rich kids.
     
  13. LooksGood

    LooksGood Well-Known Member

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    Women who put wealth above traditional criteria like personality or even looks are fucking disgusting and I would never want to be with someone like that.
     
    1 person likes this.
  14. Piobaire

    Piobaire Well-Known Member

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    If you went to school with a bunch of rich kids you blew some awesome networking opportunities.
     
  15. globetrotter

    globetrotter Well-Known Member

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    good question - not until I was about 13, then I sort of came into my own. my family moved pretty much every year until I was 13, and then I stayed in one place for a long time.

    really - as a follow up to my previous post, balance is the most important thing. I drive carpool a half dozen times a month, I have lunch with my wife 2-3 times a month, I bathe my kids 5-10 times a month. we sit down together to eat 5-10 times a month. those things are really important, much more important than a big house or a new car, in my opinion.
     
  16. bringusingoodale

    bringusingoodale Well-Known Member

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    Hey, I wasn't saying go after gold diggers,

    What I am saying is ask any women that is not a naive twenty something, and they will look for a man who has stability, and is capable of supporting a household, ultimately this means having some assets and steady income.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
  17. HRoi

    HRoi Well-Known Member

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    yeah, it's worth it. but only if making money doesnt ruin the best years of your life. it may be possible to earn more money later, but you can't buy back time. but having an income one would consider "enough" is pretty fucking cool

    after a certain level of success/income i found myself giving up opportunities to make even more money in favor of a better quality of life, and staying at a job that i found more interesting. i'm still pretty far from 47 though, so maybe my opinion would change if i was that old and hadn't achieved the level of success that i thought i should have
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  18. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Well-Known Member

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    Today, I learned that HRoi is 46-years-old.
     
  19. ahdaeeeee

    ahdaeeeee Well-Known Member

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    Since many who voice their opinions are a little older, maybe you could use an opinion from a younger person's perspective as well.

    I'm 24, just started my career for a couple of years now. Of course there are things that I need to worry for the future, a house, a car, this and that. While I still have the energy I am working my ass off now in hoping to be able to enjoy myself in the latter years. I still make it a point to give myself a break from work life every couple of months, to keep my sanity of course. I travel and visit friends just hangout and catch up with them.

    Yet again, right now I already am saving up, thinking of where to put my money to bring in the best investment and my time. What you said was also a good point, growing up in a family that is better would eventually yield different results, I've pretty much grew up without having any difficulty to have a proper meal at the end of the day, but that does not mean I am spendthrift nor ungrateful to my family.

    But hey, I lost a lot of time due to studying and working as well, but all I need are those quality friends whom I've been hanging with for a good 11 years now, same old people, same old stupidity. I guess I am fine with hanging with them, and we only meet once in a couple of months as I do not live in the same country as them.

    After all that has been said and done, working, money and power, are just a something to help me reach the end goal. I want to look back at my life and say, "Yep, I've lived."
     
  20. 454Casull

    454Casull Well-Known Member

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    Well then I suppose it's a good thing that they don't have to deal with you.
     

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