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Things That Are Bothering You, Got You All Hibbeldy-Jibbeldy, or just downright pissed, RIGHT NOW!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bergdorf Goodwill, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. MrG

    MrG Well-Known Member

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    To follow up on this: At the wedding, one of the other guests (a friend) mentioned that she'd said something along the lines of "I'm surprised you decided to have the wedding on a home-game weekend" to the bride, who responded with, "you know I don't pay attention to that stuff."

    :facepalm:

    It's great and all if the bride doesn't like football, but not having major events in town on a home-game weekend is Life in a College Town 101. You always check the schedule.

    After I got over my annoyance with having to deal with getting there, I had the same thought you did about hotel rooms for people staying the weekend. They'd be hard to find on game day, and there's going to be an enormous premium over pretty much every other weekend this month.

    Oh, and this wasn't because of procrastination of a scheduling conflict. They had the venue booked well ahead of time. This was just the weekend they chose, for whatever reason.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2013
    1 person likes this.
  2. zarathustra

    zarathustra Well-Known Member

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    I understand it is their big day and all, but FFS have a little respect and appreciation for your guests. There are a few weddings that still stick in my crawl because of this sort of nonchalance of the bride and groom.
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. HRoi

    HRoi Well-Known Member

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    Return their gift and get them a shittier one. "Sorry, we would have gotten you something better if our wedding budget wasn't taken up by these ridiculous room rates"
     
    2 people like this.
  4. MrG

    MrG Well-Known Member

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    Yup.

    The more I've thought about it (and I had a lot of time to think about it while cussing game-day traffic on Saturday), the more I've started to wonder when it became normal for weddings to completely disregard the inconvenience factor for guests. I know the wedding is about the couple, but when I got married we at least took the time to consider how our plans would impact people who were attending. Recently, however, it seems that a lot of the weddings I've been attending are scheduled without a moment's consideration for the people who are invited. In just the last handful, there have been weddings on holiday weekends (on the Sunday no less), weekends of the year where it's profoundly inconvenient, and all manner of destination weddings. WTF? Exactly how far out of our way are we now expected to go for a shitty buffet and a beer/wine bar?


    I was actually in a wedding not too long ago where we never gave a gift. It was a black-tie destination wedding where children were forbidden from the festivities. My gift was all the coin we dropped going to that stupid event.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Teacher

    Teacher Well-Known Member

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    I find destination weddings to be extremely selfish. I was a groomsman in one, when I was a completely broke college student, and was told they'd put us up for the weekend. We found out when we got there they'd changed their minds. We were basically stuck in the armpit of nowhere. The groom was one of my best friends; we've barely spoken since.
     
  6. StephenHero

    StephenHero Well-Known Member

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    I woke up way too late.
     
  7. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Well-Known Member

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    Overeating and oversleeping. Are you depressed?
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Joffrey

    Joffrey Well-Known Member

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    Unless it's a close family member (sibling) or a close friend, I don't see the need to go to every wedding I'm invited too. With some of these complaints listed here, I would relish the thought of skipping the wedding, sending my regrets and a $100 gift.
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2013
  9. MrG

    MrG Well-Known Member

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    Agreed.

    The no-gift wedding I mentioned earlier was a similar kind of deal, though not quite as severe as arriving to nowhere to stay. I felt obligated to go because I was in the wedding, but it kept snowballing into a bigger and more expensive hassle:

    Friend: "MrG, I'd really like you to be in my wedding."

    MrG: "Hell yeah, man. I'd be honored."

    (Time passes)

    Friend: "By the way, the wedding is in a place that makes no sense whatsoever for anyone involved."

    MrG: "No worries. It will be nice to get away."

    (Time passes)

    Friend: "Oh, and despite the fact that most of our friends, including the wedding party, have kids, we're not allowing kids at the wedding."

    MrG: "..."

    Friend: "But, like it says on the invitation, licensed childcare will be provided at the venue."

    MrG: "So...leaving my infant with a stranger. I guess it's alright since it's licensed, and we'll be in the same building, since the childcare is at the venue."

    (Time passes)

    MrG: "So how do I go about getting childcare lined up for the big day?"

    Friend: "Oh, you just call and tell them to come up to your hotel room at the venue."

    MrG: "We're not getting a hotel room at the venue. We've booked a nice house nearby to share with other friends are going, since we all like to vacation together, anyway, and it'll be better accommodations for our families at a lot less cost."

    Friend: "Well, despite the fact that we didn't make this clear before you RSVPed, you have to stay at the hotel at the venue if you want to use the childcare we told you we'd provide. We just assumed that everyone would stay at the hotel."

    MrG: :fu:
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2013
  10. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Well-Known Member

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    Your friend is a dick for not providing mochi.

    Tsk tsk.
     
    1 person likes this.
  11. ethanm

    ethanm Well-Known Member

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    I dislike children as much as the next mid-twenties guy but not allowing them at a wedding is really obnoxious. Who the fuck is going to spread flowers and carry rings?
     
  12. aravenel

    aravenel Well-Known Member

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    It strikes me that people who do these diva-ish things (destination weddings, etc) are looking at the point of a wedding wrong.

    The point of a wedding, at least IMO, is to celebrate your nuptials with your closest family and friends. CELEBRATE. You need people present in order to celebrate. Those people's presence is, at least to me, far more important than having the wedding on a posh Caribbean island or whatever.
     
  13. MrG

    MrG Well-Known Member

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    My wife and I discussed this on the way home from Saturday's wedding. We've declined before, and will probably make it more of a habit going forward. The issue with a lot of the more inconvenient weddings I mentioned is that we've often been attendants, which means we've generally committed to being there well before we realized what a pain it would be (truth be told, we probably would have made it work, anyway). However, we're sort of at the end of the list of friends who are close enough to ask us to stand up for them, and we're kind of aging out of it, too. That being the case, I suspect there will be a lot more "regretfully declines" in our future, particularly for the weddings that would prove to be a pain.

    Saturday was actually an anomaly in a way, because we weren't in the wedding, but didn't realize it would be a hassle until well after we'd said we'd be there. I suppose it's my fault that I didn't check the football schedule before confirming, but I just assumed no one would be stupid enough to expect people to attend a wedding in Athens during a home game.


    This certainly didn't help.

    Actually, come to think of it, that wedding offered the most selfish attendant's gift I've ever received, too. We got ugly toggle-back cufflinks to wear to the ceremony.


    Yup. Agreed. I was in my mid 20s when I got married, and I was pretty agnostic on kids in general. Even so, not having kids there wasn't even something I thought of, let alone considered. Kids are often the best part of receptions. Drunk adults and kids running around having fun combines for a great time.

    The wedding I was talking about above was particularly egregious given how many of our friends are in our prime kid-having years.


    I think this is probably correct. For these folks, it's all about showing off and being worshiped like royalty for a day, not asking your friends and family to come together to celebrate your commitment.
     
  14. Mr Martini

    Mr Martini Well-Known Member

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    i 100% agree. What kind of nazi doesnt want children at a wedding?

    I have have a similar policy to the Jews shabbat on Saturdays , except my holiday is only during college football season, or any other day of a large sporting event. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fukking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fuking go to a wedding!
     
    3 people like this.
  15. StephenHero

    StephenHero Well-Known Member

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    hold me, neo
     
    1 person likes this.
  16. zarathustra

    zarathustra Well-Known Member

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    I think in the end --- we were too caught up in the guests and in-laws and didn't focus on what we wanted (or at least I did not). (My MIL was a bit of a nightmare (ok absolutely bloody hell.(during the flower consultation, I had to leave and go to a bar around the corner for a Bushmills and a Guinness), so I think I may have over compensated in planning.). We technically had a destination wedding just outside Savannah over a Labor Day Weekend. The in-laws had a snow bird place on an old plantation there, its our go to vaca spot, and everyone knows that we think it is the happiest place on earth. Given this --- no one really cared that we held everything there and were generally happy to make the trek. We also made sure to let our friends know that if they couldn't make it, we understood. Besides it gave us a reason to reconnect later that Fall with those who couldn't make it.

    We also basically offered a concierge service for the trip. We went out of our way to tell them what the best airlines and airports were and when the prices were expected to change months in advance. We followed it with sample fares posted on our website. We put up the wedding party and the significant others on the property and offered multiple levels of hotels so that people had options based on their budgets. Upon arrival, everyone had a goody bag of snacks, maps and suggestions for their sightseeing, together with a personal note to each person.

    It was really important to us that everyone knew that we appreciated them coming and could relax and have a good time.
     
  17. HRoi

    HRoi Well-Known Member

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    The important thing as a host in a destination wedding is that you make your guests feel honored and valued, with treasured memories and other keepsakes that they can remember and share fondly for a lifetime.


    So....you pay for the hookers
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. GreenFrog

    GreenFrog Well-Known Member

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  19. StephenHero

    StephenHero Well-Known Member

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    My heating is really erratic. Two nights ago it felt like I was sleeping in a burlap sack on top of the Andes Mountains. Last night I was pouring McDonalds coffee on my lap just to cool down.
     
  20. ethanm

    ethanm Well-Known Member

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    You probably need a new thermostat.
     

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