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Stroller to a funeral (close family member)

Discussion in 'Classic Menswear' started by lordofpi, Jun 10, 2008.

  1. lordofpi

    lordofpi Well-Known Member

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    Hi all; long time reader, first time poster. Over the past couple of months, I have been pondering purchasing a nice stroller suit since I own no daytime formalwear (or semi-formal, if you want to be technical) whatsoever. I have just found out last week that a very close member of my family is deathly ill (literally), and we all know we will be going to a funeral in less than a month.

    This may seem cad-like to even ask, but I feel it would be more-so not to ask. Would it be inappropriate for me to have a black stroller for such an occasion? I remember reading once (perhaps it was here?) that morning dress is actually what is meant to be worn at funerals, not black informal suits. Nevertheless, in my circle, wearing formal morning wear would be so noticable, I think it would distract and be a sign of disrespect. A stroller seems like a possible compromise between by-the-book proper dress and the stern conformity of an informal black suit.

    If your thoughts are that it can be done, it what way would it be done to be most appropriate (can black jacket and waistcoat be done, etc.)? Thanks all for your help.
     
  2. edmorel

    edmorel Well-Known Member

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    I'm not going to be a jerk since you have a family member in such dire straits but I will say that what you are wearing is the most insignificant issue of the event, assuming you don't show up in shorts or nude.
     
  3. SoCal2NYC

    SoCal2NYC Well-Known Member

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  4. Hanseat

    Hanseat Well-Known Member

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    Personally, I wouldn't wear anything that calls attention to myself rather than the desceased. Though you will look at the stroller (quite rightly) as showing respect, most people will probably look at you and wonder what the heck you are wearing.
     
  5. Teacher

    Teacher Well-Known Member

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    Personally, I wouldn't wear anything that calls attention to myself rather than the desceased.

    Bingo.
     
  6. yachtie

    yachtie Well-Known Member

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    ^^^^ All true and agreed to. I'm wondering if it'll be thought of as a particularly subdued sportcoat and trousers ensemble these days.
     
  7. SkinnyGoomba

    SkinnyGoomba Well-Known Member

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    wear a black suit, or navy. sportcoat and slacks maybe.
     
  8. RatherAnOddball

    RatherAnOddball Well-Known Member

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    Go for it, I say. If you don't take advantage of the opportunity to acquire and employ a black stroller now, at this funeral, then you'll probably never get around to it. Better to establish your preference for protocol - rather than peer pressure - early on, since each incident of offending people with your correctness will be successively milder.
     
  9. yachtie

    yachtie Well-Known Member

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    If you didn't wear a vest, I don't think anyone would notice.
     
  10. MrDaniels

    MrDaniels Well-Known Member

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    This reminds me of that kid last year that was going to court for drunk driving and was wondering if it was a good idea to strut around in a three-piece.
     
  11. GBR

    GBR Well-Known Member

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    Personally, I wouldn't wear anything that calls attention to myself rather than the desceased. Though you will look at the stroller (quite rightly) as showing respect, most people will probably look at you and wonder what the heck you are wearing.

    Absolutely right.

    Just go in a normal suit not in what will appear to be fancy dress or worse, affectation to all others gathered.
     
  12. thinman

    thinman Well-Known Member

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    Personally, I wouldn't wear anything that calls attention to myself rather than the desceased. Though you will look at the stroller (quite rightly) as showing respect, most people will probably look at you and wonder what the heck you are wearing.

    +1.
    Sorry for your loss. I'd wear a charcoal gray (or black) suit, white shirt, black grenadine tie, white pocket square.
     
  13. teddieriley

    teddieriley Well-Known Member

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    Wait, you smell that?
    +1.
    Sorry for your loss. I'd wear a charcoal gray (or black) suit, white shirt, black grenadine tie, white pocket square.


    Probably more sorry than the OP who is more concerned whether he can get away with a stroller. I mean really? Wear a black suit. You already know you are just going to draw attention to yourself wearing the stroller - not the appropriate place to make your style statement.
     
  14. EL72

    EL72 Well-Known Member

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    This reminds me of that kid last year that was going to court for drunk driving and was wondering if it was a good idea to strut around in a three-piece.

    Connemara
     
  15. lordofpi

    lordofpi Well-Known Member

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    Well, those responses are quite what I expected. I own a black suit and tie already for occasions such as this, so wearing that is not a problem. I've given thought to this very situation over the years; in this particular case, I will be one of the bereaved, so I was really pondering whether it might be more appropriate to be more formal than those who are showing their respects. Though it can be a bit conspicuous, I was hoping black jacket, black waistcoat might abate that factor.

    My intention is not to act ostentatiously, as some of you immediately assume; rather, the fact that I am about to purchase a stroller anyway provides me with a chance to show more respect (both to the deceased and those coming to pay their respects) at such a solemn event than perhaps I had been doing in the past with a black suit/tie.
     
  16. Bird's One View

    Bird's One View Well-Known Member

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    I say wear the bloody stroller if you feel like it.

    Some of these reactions would be better matched to a post asking if one should wear a patchwork clown suit with squirting buttonhole to a close family member's funeral.
     
  17. vitaminc

    vitaminc Well-Known Member

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    Well, those responses are quite what I expected. I own a black suit and tie already for occasions such as this, so wearing that is not a problem. I've given thought to this very situation over the years; in this particular case, I will be one of the bereaved, so I was really pondering whether it might be more appropriate to be more formal than those who are showing their respects. Though it can be a bit conspicuous, I was hoping black jacket, black waistcoat might abate that factor.

    My intention is not to act ostentatiously, as some of you immediately assume; rather, the fact that I am about to purchase a stroller anyway provides me with a chance to show more respect (both to the deceased and those coming to pay their respects) at such a solemn event than perhaps I had been doing in the past with a black suit/tie.


    Google for Ronald Reagan's funeral and I doubt you see anything other than black suit/black tie. While stroller is fine according to traditional codes, it would be too much of a stand-out today.
     
  18. Bob Loblaw

    Bob Loblaw Well-Known Member

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    Wear it. It is completely appropriate. Everybody there will think you're just wearing some sort of sharp black sportscoat anyway.
     
  19. JLibourel

    JLibourel Well-Known Member

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    Considering some of the gawdawful attire I've seen worn to funerals in recent years, I say go ahead and wear it if that's what you want to do. As others have pointed out, 99.9999 percent of the population doesn't know what the hell a stroller is: Insofar as they will notice it at al, they will deem it a "suit" (of an offbeat sort), a "tuxedo" or a formalistic variant of a sport coat and odd trousers.
     
  20. LabelKing

    LabelKing Well-Known Member

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    From all appearances, strollers have almost the same appearance as a regular suit jacket.

    I think you should wear it, especially considering the egregious nature of most funerary attire today. You could go all Victorian and wear some jet mourning jewelry, or for an especially poignant touch, hair jewelry.
     

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