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Spanking

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Douglas, May 4, 2010.

  1. uvmboi13

    uvmboi13 Well-Known Member

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    +1



    -100

    Whether you decide to reason with your children or spank them, all that matters is that you do it out of love (and not anger). I don't have children, but if I ever do, I will spank them when I think it's appropriate.


    You should be locked up. It is called abuse.
     
  2. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

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    Incorrect.

    There is a big difference between a quick whack and being abused. I was beaten exactly once by my uncle when I was 16 after my father had died and my mother was at her wit's end trying to deal with the evil little punk I had become.

    Looking back, I probably had that coming too, and I was a lot closer to adulthood by that time (not like I was 4 or 5, I was 16) but by any technical or legal definition, then that was abuse.
     
  3. holymadness

    holymadness Well-Known Member

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    I was spanked, probably just like everyone else in my generation. I don't know whether I am any better or worse off for it. At the time it instilled little discipline in me, but I was a real hellion.

    I don't feel very comfortable physically disciplining children and I'm not sure how I'll react when I have my own kids.
     
  4. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Well-Known Member

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    ^ That is awful!

    Spanking has obviously made those who were spanked think it is "ok" now...


    How old are your children?
     
  5. cross22

    cross22 Well-Known Member

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    If you believe spanking is an appropriate form of punishment/discipline for children would you think it is also appropriate for adults? Why not tie someone to a pole and whip the shit out of them the 3rd time they get a speeding ticket? Viva Saudi Arabia.
     
  6. Thomas

    Thomas Well-Known Member

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    I was spanked in my youth, but we do not spank ours for a variety of reasons.

    What has been challenging is that we really have to think our way around stopping a behavior and then bringing about the change we want. It's not as simple as a swat - like it was when I was his age - and then it forces us to follow through on our threats. If we take away a privelege for a week, it has to be a week and not 6 1/2 days.
     
  7. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Well-Known Member

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    If you believe spanking is an appropriate form of punishment/discipline for children would you think it is also appropriate for adults? Why not tie someone to a pole and whip the shit out of them the 3rd time they get a speeding ticket? Viva Saudi Arabia.

    How old are your children?
     
  8. globetrotter

    globetrotter Well-Known Member

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    I voted "have children and spank" even though I really have only spanked once. I believe that spanking, and corporal punishment, is reasonable.

    my son is 8. when he was 3, he had a major tantrum in a mall at christmas time. I picked him up to carry him out, and he wacked me, hard. I tried to get him to calm down, and he basically was yelling and fighting. so I pinned him down on the floor, and said, very calmly "I am bigger and stronger than you, and if you try to use violence then you will always find somebody bigger and stronger than you, so it isn't a good idea". he kept fighting, so I poked him with my index finger on his forhead. I said "see, I can hurt you with just one finger, do you really want to keep fighting?" he said yes, so I poked him again, and then he gave in and I made him appologize. about 3 months later he started to have a tantrum, and I showed him my index finger, and he calmed down. that was the only violence I have had to use on my son. his normal punishment (again, not very common) is that I make him bring me a toy and I either break it or put it away for a period of time.


    one of my 3 year old girls had a tantrum a while back, and after trying to calm her down several times, I put her over my knee and slapped the top of her theigh a few times. that worked. I haven't had to do it again.

    my kids are very disciplined - I get compliments all the time from other parents on how polite and well behaved my kids are, and how disciplined. they stand up to speak to adults, for instance, and they say "please" "thank you" and "excuse me".
     
  9. Fuuma

    Fuuma Well-Known Member

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    How old are your children?

    Have you ever beaten a girlfriend? I mean sometimes there is just no other way to make them understand.
     
  10. holymadness

    holymadness Well-Known Member

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    I voted "have children and spank" even though I really have only spanked once. I believe that spanking, and corporal punishment, is reasonable.

    my son is 8. when he was 3, he had a major tantrum in a mall at christmas time. I picked him up to carry him out, and he wacked me, hard. I tried to get him to calm down, and he basically was yelling and fighting. so I pinned him down on the floor, and said, very calmly "I am bigger and stronger than you, and if you try to use violence then you will always find somebody bigger and stronger than you, so it isn't a good idea". he kept fighting, so I poked him with my index finger on his forhead. I said "see, I can hurt you with just one finger, do you really want to keep fighting?" he said yes, so I poked him again, and then he gave in and I made him appologize. about 3 months later he started to have a tantrum, and I showed him my index finger, and he calmed down. that was the only violence I have had to use on my son. his normal punishment (again, not very common) is that I make him bring me a toy and I either break it or put it away for a period of time.

    Looool.
     
  11. Dragon

    Dragon Well-Known Member

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    You should be locked up. It is called abuse.

    It is called discipline. Some things are not so simple, and hitting does not automatically equal abuse.
     
  12. Dedalus

    Dedalus Well-Known Member

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    I was on the fence about spanking, and then I listened to this
    IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

    TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags. Maybe Louis CK isn't the role model parent, but I thought about the times I was spanked. Totally didn't fucking work. I was spanked for getting kicked out of summer camp for cursing. I say the most awful shit of anyone I know. I was spanked for hitting my mom during a tantrum. Today, I resent my mother and think of her as weak/stupid, although I love her.
     
  13. Mark from Plano

    Mark from Plano Well-Known Member

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    Have you ever beaten a girlfriend? I mean sometimes there is just no other way to make them understand.
    :roma: Since you asked, my children are 17 and 15 and I've never spanked them. Personally, I think there are better ways to discipline. I'm just not a big fan of 22 year olds who've never had responsibility for themselves, much less raising another human being, lecturing parents about what is or isn't abusive. Not sure if that's what's going on here in the two cases above, but I suspect it is from their tone. But I might be wrong, that's why I asked. Comparing swatting a 3 year old on the rump to get his attention to lashing an adult to a pole and beating them as they do in Saudi Arabia (as someone else did) or smacking your girlfriend across the mouth (as you have) is really sad and pathetic. Arguing that it's not terribly effective or that its counterproductive (as the study cited earlier in this thread does) is fine. As I said, I'm not a big fan of spanking and don't do it. It was done to me and I'm not a big fan. I was much more dogmatic on the issue earlier in my life. But the mistakes I've made over the years and the impact of actually being responsible for raising another human have made me less dogmatic and judgmental on the issue. It's a closer call than some on this board want to make it out to be. And I'm willing to give other parents the benefit of the doubt. If it goes over the line into abuse...then it's clearly wrong. No marks, nothing around the face or whatever. But if we're talking about a couple of swats on the rump with your hand and it isn't done in a rage, I'm simply not willing to equate that to Saudi Arabia or beating your girlfriend.
     
  14. HgaleK

    HgaleK Well-Known Member

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    I've been around kids who were and weren't spanked, and in general. those who were spanked tend to be more driven, more respectful, and act a little more mature. One confound here is that most of them are first children too, so I won't call it causation. I do know that every kid with the exception of two that I've ever known to be spanked, don't act like bastards to their mothers. Also, every kid who I know that goes around telling their moms to fuck off doesn't get spanked.

    A lot of people don't seem to get that being spanked isn't a regular thing. If you're acting stupid and don't really give a shit about grounded (hell, give me a few good books and I'm set for days), that getting spanked gets the message across. I've never seen someone find an effective alternate method. My girlfriend's mother has spent tends of thousands on therapy, shrink sessions, and counseling for herself on effective parenting methods, and her son to figure out why he acts like a bastard, and he still doesn't listen to what she says. My brother did the same thing, got his ass whipped for, and now doesn't have that problem. Life goes on for him, but he knows that if he pushes it too far with my mom that it'll suck.

    *The not done in rage part is important. My parents generally didn't have that issue, and the one time that my dad ever stepped over the line, he was pissed and it turned in to more of a fight than anything.
     
  15. Prada_Ferragamo

    Prada_Ferragamo Well-Known Member

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    I was spanked alot when I was growing up by my mother. My father rarely hit me except on a couple of occasions when I was been really stupid (stole money from my mother's purse to go the the arcade). I think spanking really disciplined me and made me respect my parents and my elders. I think I would never spank a girl, but if I have a boy, I will spank him under the necessary conditions.
    Kids have no respect for their parents and other authorities anymore. I have seen teens cursing at their parents in public before, and the parents just stood there cluelessly. [​IMG] I asked myself where was the discipline.
    For those who say spanking equals abuse, look at our society today. Kids are so undisciplined that it's shameful. I agree that there are kids out there that are abused, but when it comes to discipline, spanking is still a resourceful tool.
     
  16. Dedalus

    Dedalus Well-Known Member

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    Kids have no respect for their parents and other authorities anymore. I have seen teens cursing at their parents in public before, and the parents just stood there cluelessly. [​IMG] I asked myself where was the discipline.
    For those who say spanking equals abuse, look at our society today. Kids are so undisciplined that it's shameful. I agree that there are kids out there that are abused, but when it comes to discipline, spanking is still a resourceful tool.


    See whenever these examples are brought up, I wonder how these parents act. Are they the people that feel entitled to drive while on a cell phone, jaywalk, etc. the people for whom the rules don't apply? Because there's a lot of asshole morons out there, and a lot of them have kids that they set examples for in behavior, so I think regardless of spankings, there's going to be a lot of asshole kids.
     
  17. IUtoSLU

    IUtoSLU Well-Known Member

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    Have you ever beaten a girlfriend? I mean sometimes there is just no other way to make them understand.

    :roma:

    Since you asked, my children are 17 and 15 and I've never spanked them. Personally, I think there are better ways to discipline.

    I'm just not a big fan of 22 year olds who've never had responsibility for themselves, much less raising another human being, lecturing parents about what is or isn't abusive. Not sure if that's what's going on here in the two cases above, but I suspect it is from their tone. But I might be wrong, that's why I asked.

    Comparing swatting a 3 year old on the rump to get his attention to lashing an adult to a pole and beating them as they do in Saudi Arabia (as someone else did) or smacking your girlfriend across the mouth (as you have) is really sad and pathetic. Arguing that it's not terribly effective or that its counterproductive (as the study cited earlier in this thread does) is fine. As I said, I'm not a big fan of spanking and don't do it. It was done to me and I'm not a big fan.

    I was much more dogmatic on the issue earlier in my life. But the mistakes I've made over the years and the impact of actually being responsible for raising another human have made me less dogmatic and judgmental on the issue. It's a closer call than some on this board want to make it out to be. And I'm willing to give other parents the benefit of the doubt.

    If it goes over the line into abuse...then it's clearly wrong. No marks, nothing around the face or whatever. But if we're talking about a couple of swats on the rump with your hand and it isn't done in a rage, I'm simply not willing to equate that to Saudi Arabia or beating your girlfriend.


    Wow. What a great response. Thank you.
     
  18. spertia

    spertia Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe that there are so many future spankers on here. I have kids and would never spank them. I think that it is simply wrong to hit little people. Physical violence as a punishment/lesson? No thanks.
     
  19. cross22

    cross22 Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe that there are so many future spankers on here. I have kids and would never spank them. I think that it is simply wrong to hit little people. Physical violence as a punishment/lesson? No thanks.
    Nah, most of them won't. They just don't know wtf they are talking about until they have kids.
     
  20. Prada_Ferragamo

    Prada_Ferragamo Well-Known Member

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    See whenever these examples are brought up, I wonder how these parents act. Are they the people that feel entitled to drive while on a cell phone, jaywalk, etc. the people for whom the rules don't apply? Because there's a lot of asshole morons out there, and a lot of them have kids that they set examples for in behavior, so I think regardless of spankings, there's going to be a lot of asshole kids.

    I agree with you on asshole parents with asshole kids, but even beyond that, I see many kids who are spoiled and over-privileged despite economic status of their parents. My parents love me, but they drew boundaries between love and spoiled rotten. If my parents said no, it meant no; not may be. I knew the limit that I could push.
     

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