Socially embarrassing hobbies and unattractiveness

[Margaret]

Originally Posted by thealbatross

LabelKing, I cannot help to wonder if you have friends in the "real world" who share a similar passion for vintage Mercedes. Very often when I read the posts on the forum they seem in a certain way devoid of greater human contact, outside of shoe salesmen and eBay sellers, and the occasional wife. This is one clear worry I have about my own social insecurities and how they could actually be reinforced by frequently posting on forums; I suppose this paranoia runs parallel to an acute self-awareness, which as the years pass has become more visible as a hindrance to my own confidence.

Kai, I appreciate you sharing your opinion about those who share your hobbies but I was wondering if you could comment directly on why you came to be involved in RPG's and how it has effected you socially.

Are you a troll?

 

[Kent Wang]

Beer snobs and homebrewers all seem very nerdy. Superficially, beer as a hobby sounds pretty cool, but the people that are very serious about it are total dorks and often overweight.

 

[thealbatross]

Originally Posted by Margaret

Are you a troll?

If the topic has made you uncomfortable I am sorry; but that doesn’t make me a troll. I feel that I have been more than forthcoming with my own issues at no one’s expense but my own. If other members here also have issues with their own self-image their opinions were formulated long before I started this thread, if anything I hope this discussion can help others, or at least take some of the sting out of the stigma associated with the hobbies mentioned here.

 

[Margaret]

Originally Posted by thealbatross

If the topic has made you uncomfortable I am sorry; but that doesn’t make me a troll. I feel that I have been more than forthcoming with my own issues at no one’s expense but my own. If other members here also have issues with their own self-image their opinions were formulated long before I started this thread, if anything I hope this discussion can help others, or at least take some of the sting out of the stigma associated with the hobbies mentioned here.

It was a simple question, which you've not answered.

Are you a troll?

In other words, are your inquiries and statements a forthright and truthful expression of the reality of your situation, or are you simply taking some kind of perverse delight in the idea of other people taking the time and effort to naively offer earnest (heh, earnest) responses to a fabricated persona full of physical, emotional and social insufficiencies?

'Cause you sorta sound like a troll.

 

[skalogre]

I must agree with Margaret that there are some definite signs of trollism here.

P.s. I am a geek myself and fine with it. Nothing to do with discomfort on my part.

 

[thealbatross]

Originally Posted by Margaret

It was a simple question, which you've not answered.

Are you a troll?

In other words, are your inquiries and statements a forthright and truthful expression of the reality of your situation, or are you simply taking some kind of perverse delight in the idea of other people taking the time and effort to naively offer earnest (heh, earnest) responses to a fabricated persona full of physical, emotional and social insufficiencies?

'Cause you sorta sound like a troll.

As I said above I have been forthcoming about my own opinions on my self-image, and tried to have an open conversation about issues I thought other members might share. To answer the question directly, "are you a troll", no I am not; but it seems you have already made up your mind with your assertion. Perhaps you are one trolling me; if that is the case give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.

 

[Margaret]

Originally Posted by thealbatross

As I said above I have been forthcoming about my own opinions on my self-image, and tried to have an open conversation about issues I thought other members might share. To answer the question directly, "are you a troll", no I am not; but it seems you have already made up your mind with your assertion. Perhaps you are one trolling me; if that is the case give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.

Then taking you at your word, you would do well to focus on making efforts to adjust your self-image, rather than reinforcing it at every turn, which is exactly what you are doing with practically every post you have made on these boards, whether or not you are conscious of it.

 

[Kai]

Originally Posted by thealbatross

Kai, I appreciate you sharing your opinion about those who share your hobbies but I was wondering if you could comment directly on why you came to be involved in RPG's and how it has effected you socially.

Why game? Why not? RPG's and miniature gaming are more fun to me than watching TV. You use your imagination and intellect and get to interact with friends as opposed to being entertained by just staring at a box.

I don't think that gaming has had any negative effect on my social life. I think of the folks I began gaming with back when I was a kid, and they were all pretty well rounded and well regarded by our peers. I have always had a lot of interests and activities outside of gaming and haven't ever perceived my gaming hobbies to be a detriment to any of these other interests or activities.

(And, for the record, I agree with Margaret that you sound like a troll. I don't really care, however, as you have initiated some interesting threads.)

 

[Bradford]

Originally Posted by Margaret

Then taking you at your word, you would do well to focus on making efforts to adjust your self-image, rather than reinforcing it at every turn, which is exactly what you are doing with practically every post you have made on these boards, whether or not you are conscious of it.

Hear, hear. I second this recommendation.

 

[flashback]

Originally Posted by thealbatross

Do you think there is a correlation between unattractiveness and what are considered socially embarrassing hobbies? I am thinking along the lines of AD&D, Star Trek, carrier pigeons, collecting stamps or even an overactive interest in things such as umbrella handles. I consider myself unattractive but have somehow avoided taking up any of these interests; this makes me wonder if people develop these hobbies as an outlet to their unattractiveness or if it's just a coincidence. An odd question I know; perhaps I have perused more mainstream interests do to my own self-perception.

yes, definitely. It goes deeper than that. Attractiveness is not skin deep, meaning that these "bad" hobbies carry an inherent unattractiveness about them. If you take a hot guy and have him approach women and immediately tell them that he's into anime or whatever, they will perceive him as being far less attractive than just his looks.

The important thing is that if you're into "bad" hobbies is not to lead with them. They can actually be attractive if they are discovered later on, as the women will see you as more normal, not perfect, etc. She'll appreciate that you have some weird thing that you're into, because women have "bad" hobbies as well.

Like I was saying, the important thing is to know when you like something that is socially unattractive, and to not let the social connotation make you untrue to yourself, but just don't lead with these things. Put your best feet forward.

 

[Tokyo Slim]

Originally Posted by Kai

Why game? Why not? RPG's and miniature gaming are more fun to me than watching TV. You use your imagination and intellect and get to interact with friends as opposed to being entertained by just staring at a box.

I don't think that gaming has had any negative effect on my social life. I think of the folks I began gaming with back when I was a kid, and they were all pretty well rounded and well regarded by our peers. I have always had a lot of interests and activities outside of gaming and haven't ever perceived my gaming hobbies to be a detriment to any of these other interests or activities.

(And, for the record, I agree with Margaret that you sound like a troll. I don't really care, however, as you have initiated some interesting threads.)

Yeah, but Kai, you are totally a nerd/geek. Therefore you are completely biased as to whether said activities are nerdy/geeky. Your social life wouldn't suffer, because you hang out with nerds/geeks. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

If Revenge Of the Nerds has taught me anything about "your culture" it's that Nerds and Geeks are people too. As long as you don't make love to my girlfriend in the moon bounce with a Darth Vader mask on, I won't try to get you kicked out of college.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm going to go sort through my comic book and DVD collection.

I mean... play sports. And fix my truck. And use power tools... yeah power tools.

Nevermind.

 

[Nantucket Red]

Originally Posted by flashback

women have "bad" hobbies as well.

An inordinate interest in cosmetics and their application being foremost among them.

 

[A Harris]

Kai drives (or at least used to drive) a Viper, and practices his rally racing skills on the way to work. That outweighs all manner of nerdy hobby's

 

[Tokyo Slim]

Originally Posted by A Harris

Kai drives (or at least used to drive) a Viper, and practices his rally racing skills on the way to work. That outweighs all manner of nerdy hobby's

Or it could be the ultimate in overcompensating for his dice based RPG "nerdery"... I'm not putting anyone down, I hope Kai realizes that I'm probably at least if not more of a nerd than anyone else around here, and probably much poorer to boot! I'm just poking fun at everyone else due to my insecurities about having humongous ********. Seriously, girls are frightened.

A rich nerd trumps a poor nerd any day. I want a bespoke pocket protector, but I had to settle for MTM.

 

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim

I'm not putting anyone down, I hope Kai realizes that I'm probably at least if not more of a nerd than anyone else around here, and probably much poorer to boot!
Ahem.