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Socially embarrassing hobbies and unattractiveness

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by thealbatross, Jul 5, 2006.

  1. Mike

    Mike Well-Known Member

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    I don't think there is anything wrong with hobbies per se, but there is a fine line between having a hobby and having an obsession. The people who's whole life is devoted to one singular obsession. Have you seen some of these people who have an obsession with Elvis or Kiss? This can go from mere fandom to full out creepiness, with their whole house being full of stuff related to them. I saw a show on the Food Network where they showed a guy who collects beer cans. His whole house was full of shelves with cans everywhere. He almost bragged about spending an extreme ammount of money on some old can, like 20 or 30 grand. Its not my money and I can't tell someone how to spend their's, but there has to be some sort of restraint shown. Same with the comic book fans who spend 10000 dollars on a book, only to hermetically seal it, never read it or even look at it, as the sun will destroy it. Why spend so much money only to lock it away?

    So, in summary, hobbies can be a good way to spend your time, but when your hobby completely incompasses your entire being, seek psychological help, no matter if its something considered geeky or something somewhat hip. Hip fades with obsession.
     
  2. cheapmutha

    cheapmutha Well-Known Member

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    hmmm.... im not sure where i fit in here... skateboarding and thrift store shopping are my only hobbies(obsessions)

    both are full of ugly people.
     
  3. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red Well-Known Member

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    I don't think there is anything wrong with hobbies per se, but there is a fine line between having a hobby and having an obsession. The people who's whole life is devoted to one singular obsession. Have you seen some of these people who have an obsession with Elvis or Kiss? This can go from mere fandom to full out creepiness, with their whole house being full of stuff related to them. I saw a show on the Food Network where they showed a guy who collects beer cans. His whole house was full of shelves with cans everywhere. He almost bragged about spending an extreme ammount of money on some old can, like 20 or 30 grand. Its not my money and I can't tell someone how to spend their's, but there has to be some sort of restraint shown. Same with the comic book fans who spend 10000 dollars on a book, only to hermetically seal it, never read it or even look at it, as the sun will destroy it. Why spend so much money only to lock it away?

    So, in summary, hobbies can be a good way to spend your time, but when your hobby completely incompasses your entire being, seek psychological help, no matter if its something considered geeky or something somewhat hip. Hip fades with obsession.


    I once met a woman who was completely obsessed with Wayne Newton. Every conversation revolved around Wayne Newton. Her greeting was always, "Have a happy Wayne day!" She was institutionalized for life, I think. It was to the point that she couldn't function properly in society; a kind of fandom gone past the point of no return.
     
  4. imageWIS

    imageWIS Well-Known Member

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    Her greeting was always, "Have a happy Wayne day!" She was institutionalized for life, I think.
    Probably by Wayne Newton himself. Jon. I personally don’t get it…especially since Wayne Newton isn’t that interesting anyways…
     
  5. Margaret

    Margaret Well-Known Member

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    Probably by Wayne Newton himself.

    Jon.

    I personally don't get it...especially since Wayne Newton isn't that interesting anyways...


    You've never seen him perform in Vegas, or you wouldn't say that. The man is a giant of the entertainment industry.
     
  6. Bradford

    Bradford Well-Known Member

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    Maria Sharapova collects stamps...

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060629/...pova_quotes_dc

    [​IMG]

    As to your original question, although I do think that you are obsessing over this whole unattractiveness thing, I will try and give you a serious answer.

    Why do unattractive people have, how did you put it, socially embarrassing hobbies?

    The hobbies you mentioned, stamp collecting, Star Trek, Dungeons & Dragons, and umbrella handles (??) are those that would typically be considered to belong to nerds or geeks.

    My guess is that these hobbies are attractive to those groups because they allow the participant to take on a new, improved identity while playing. If you're the stereotypical 95-lb weakling, but with a role of the dice can imagine yourself to be a 200 lb. marauder, then why wouldn't you do so.

    If unfortunately, you let yourself become so wrapped up in the game that all you do is sit on your couch and play, then you will never develop those same physical abilities in real life and you will in fact, become the archetype of that group.

    I will freely admit that as a child I collected stamps, played Dungeons and Dragons and was a huge Science Fiction fan. However, I balanced this by playing tennis, running and being socially active as well. It's all in how you balance your life.
     
  7. Kent Wang

    Kent Wang Well-Known Member

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    The Concise Oxford gives it as "another term for litotes." In fact, I believe it covers both bases. My second example was litotes by definition, as you mention.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meiosis...e_of_speech%29
     
  8. Fuuma

    Fuuma Well-Known Member

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    It's not the hobbies you have it's how compelling and enthousiatic you are when speaking about your passions. People tend to respond well to an individual who'se interested in what life has to offer and is inspiring in demonstrating what motivates him. I'd advise people to approach many possible hobbies with an open mind and not pass up on something because they associate a social stigma to it, in the end, hobbies will only have a positive impact on your life, your self-image and the perception of others.
     
  9. Fuuma

    Fuuma Well-Known Member

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    pet rocks

    Is that your picture in your avatar, you look sufficiently hippiish to get my full respect. [​IMG]
     
  10. thealbatross

    thealbatross Active Member

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    With my own self-perception of being unattractive I was reluctant to start posting on forums such as this one as I had a fear that I would be joining a subculture that could actually reinforce my own issues about attractiveness and thwart my pursuit of acceptance in greater society. Perhaps this has been the same motivation I have had over the years for shunning such activities as AD&D, science fiction conventions, or stamp collecting. Collecting things whether they are comic books, cufflinks or even shoes (beyond those being used on a yearly basis) always seemed to me like an outlet that had the possibility of making what is sometimes difficult social interaction more arduous. Certainly hobbies such as those mentioned or even posting on message boards has the distinct possibility of turning a person into a recluse; while do I realize it depends greatly on the addictive aspects of a person's personality and their overall self-image, but this scenario is not that hard to imagine at least from my perspective.
     
  11. LabelKing

    LabelKing Well-Known Member

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    What about pen collectors?
     
  12. thealbatross

    thealbatross Active Member

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    What about pen collectors?


    I would say the same about pen collectors; when they become more affluent and possibly more isolated they turn to watches. For a little while I collected fishing lures until I realized that I didn't know why as I have never had an interest in fishing.
     
  13. LabelKing

    LabelKing Well-Known Member

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    I know it can get very obsessive with a 1968 Mercedes Benz 250SE car, which was bought without an original radio and related accessories.

    Of course, it had to have an original German radio, not NOS, which would have been too "new" looking but a refurbished one from the late '60s and then it had to have the appropriate amount of chrome so it was between rather expensive Beckers, Blaupunkts, Grundigs, Phillips, and Telefunkens. All the knobs had to be original too. After that, there had to be the original vintage Hirschmann red-tipped antenna installed, which was another fairly expensive addition.

    There was an original vintage Becker Reims 10 shortwave radio attachment.
     
  14. Brian SD

    Brian SD Well-Known Member

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    I have some weird hobbies but the ones that I let women know about are music, cars, fitness, books, food, etc.

    I used to play magic: tg, I'm somewhat into anime (and have a feircely obvious Asian fetish, hopefully it's not creepy, though)

    About the correlation to attractiveness... no comment here. Maybe that's why I'm pretty much middle-of-the-road as far as looks go. I have some "good hobbies" and some "bad hobbies."
     
  15. Kent Wang

    Kent Wang Well-Known Member

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    I think it's also a good idea to cultivate hobbies that appeal to both genders. Cooking and the culinary arts are good examples.
     
  16. Hanseat

    Hanseat Well-Known Member

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    Cooking is something women regard as positive when talking to you but secretly they don't want you to know about it... That way you are less critical. They do love you cooking something for them if you can get across the image of a clumsy chef though in reality you are quite good at it. I know this sounds a bit sexist but women want to be the one's that have the ultimate authority in those matters...

    Don't mention that you have a penchant for good clothes- most women find it interesting but think you are a lot more critical of them and other people- not good. The only way to save that situation is to say that it's more of an academical hobby much like astronomy but in reality you don't judge anyone...

    Just the knowledge I've gathered from my limited experiences (I'm 19 and had my better half for about a month steadily, so take these comments cum grano salis).
     
  17. Tokyo Slim

    Tokyo Slim Well-Known Member

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    I'm somewhat into anime (and have a feircely obvious Asian fetish, hopefully it's not creepy, though)

    Depends on your definition of "creepy" Brian... [​IMG]

    If you're the stereotypical 95-lb weakling, but with a role of the dice can imagine yourself to be a 200 lb. marauder, then why wouldn't you do so.

    I'm actually a stereotypical 200lb marauder. (220 actually) And occasionally I pretend I'm a 95lb hipster weakling who can wear skinny jeans. *sigh* Just so everyone is aware that the fantasy works both ways.
     
  18. designprofessor

    designprofessor Well-Known Member

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    John Wayne Gacey had a hobby as Pogo the clown...or community service for the kiddos.

    Models? Planes and cars..or maybe it was the glue I liked[​IMG]

    I have attended a Star trek convention. A student of mine was really into it. We all ridiculed him for wearing his hand made Capt Kirk outfit to class, so we paid him a visit at the convention. I'll never forget, They had detailed blueprint plans of the space ships, they knew all the details. All I could think of was, after their convention, what a downer for these "Trekkies" to crawl back into their crappy cars held together by duct tape and drive back to their parents house..
     
  19. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red Well-Known Member

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    What about pen collectors?

    As a kid, I used to find myself hanging out in the stationery section of pharmacies and department stores just gazing at the pens and paper and ink. I started questioning my sanity at a relatively young age. Much later in life I started collecting vintage and then modern fountain pens. I've restored a few of the vintage ones. It's never approached obsession. I also collect watches. These are things I use on a daily basis and don't devote an inordinate amount of attention to.

    I'm not sure I'd really classify these things as hobbies and don't find them socially embarrassing. In fact, the real reason I'm into these things is that they are elements of a distinctive style, so they're the exact opposite of socially embarrassing.
     
  20. Soph

    Soph Well-Known Member

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    I collect shares of LMOPX and Vanguard Primecap and Explorer and I plan on collecting much more.[​IMG]
     

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