So I got in a fight today, and now I wonder if I did the right thing

[Matt]

Chatting with norcal has me wondering if i did the right thing (damn him)...what do you guys think...

chat follows:

Matt: so i got in a fight tonight
Norcaltransplant: great
Norcaltransplant: with a white dude?
Matt: i saw some local guy punching his ******* wife in the head on the sidewalk
Matt: so i went over and broke it up, pulled him off
Matt: and then he punched her again
Matt: and then i punched him in the mouth
Matt: he went straight down with blood all over the place
Matt: and i went down on top of him, put my knee on his head and then had no ******* idea what to do - i didnt want to hit him again, it seemed pointless, his wife walked away and a crowd gathered, so I let him up and he started running to his wife again, but with so many ppl around he didnt hit her again
Norcaltransplant: were u alone?
Matt: no, there i was with my driver
Matt: maybe 2 or 3 mins after i went he came (after i had hit him)
Matt: he had said dont get involved
Matt: then driver started yelling at the crowd, saying the guy was punching his wife and i stopped him
Norcaltransplant: u realize the wife is fucked
Matt: (man hits wife, everyone looks away, white guy hits local, everyone gathers)
Matt: and then the police came, so i left
Matt: i think police took him away
Norcaltransplant: she is going to get blamed
Matt: yeah i thought later that maybe she will get it twice as bad at home now
Matt: but i still think i did the right thing
Norcaltransplant: I dunno man
Norcaltransplant: u dont live with the guy
Matt: maybe she wont either soon
Matt: apparently the guy was yelling that his wife has a new bf
Matt: and thats why he was hitting her
Matt: do u really think doing nothing while a women gets beaten in public is a better option?
Norcaltransplant: I dont know the culture
Norcaltransplant: Im off to work
Matt: cya

 

[tiger02]

Oof, that's a tough one. He's definitely going to take it out on her. Best case, she has the stones to leave and he comes after you with a shotgun. I'd say it was the right thing to do in a really tough situation, and definitely the right thing to do "in the heat of the moment."

Tom

 

[Nantucket Red]

I think you showed great restraint. Had it been me, the guy might be in a coma now.

 

[chrisc]

You didn't do the right thing at all, use a bat next time!

Kidding aside, you did exactly what most of us would do. Whether that's right or wrong, well I don't know. It just seems that in order to suppress violence today, one must use violence. You obviously couldn't pep talk the guy into not hitting his wife, so....

 

[Fabienne]

I think you did the right thing. Bravo.

We have to hope one of them at least will realize this is unacceptable behavior at some point in their lives. Any step helps.

(It might have been better if you could have found a way to restrain him without hitting him, but I wonder if the lesson would have been understood by the brute anyway.)

 

[Film Noir Buff]

Maybe its the climate.

As long as you dont shave your head and send a note that says:

Sell the Car

Sell the House

Sell the Kids

Forget it

Im Never Coming Back

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by Fabienne

(It might have been better if you could have found a way to restrain him without hitting him, but I wonder if the lesson would have been understood by the brute anyway.)

yeah i tried that, but as soon as i let him go, he cracked her again. thats when i hit him. its also why i stayed basically sitting on him for a while after i hit him too. i mean, i must outweight the guy by 25, 30 kilos, he wasnt going anywhere til i let him, and i waited til she had gotten some distance between them before letting him up.

i just cant help the feeling that in some little one room place in some back alley ********** end of district 4, this poor woman is getting the **** kicked out of her now.

 

[Alter]

Originally Posted by m@T

i just cant help the feeling that in some little one room place in some back alley ********** end of district 4, this poor woman is getting the **** kicked out of her now.

Yea, but that probably would be happening anyway. And, just maybe..you made a difference that will count.

You did good, Matt; don't beat yourself up over it (no humour intended).

 

[johnapril]

I'd say all were in a no-win situation. All too common. All too tragic.

 

[aportnoy]

I think not getting involved would have basically equated to tacit approval, so you had no choice, as I see it. You can't sit by while a woman is getting beaten up by a guy. You also can't change the culture or customs of a given country, but you can (and did) say, this sucks and you're going to stop it now.

 

[Fabienne]

Originally Posted by m@T

i just cant help the feeling that in some little one room place in some back alley ********** end of district 4, this poor woman is getting the **** kicked out of her now.

In the end, it's her decision to leave. She's the one putting herself in danger, you're the one who reacted in a healthy manner. Maybe she needed to see this. It's already terribly difficult in our western cultures to get women involved in such relationships to leave their abuser, I can't imagine how it might be where you live.

 

[Margaret]

Better than standing around watching like everyone else.

 

[LA Guy]

Originally Posted by johnapril

I'd say all were in a no-win situation. All too common. All too tragic.

I got myself in a similar situation years ago. Essentially, some punk beating on his wife in the streets, no cops around. I told him "Hey dude, be cool, okay?" and he told me to **** off and mind my one business. I told him that it was not cool to beat up on his wife, so he came at me. Anyway, ended up with me sitting on him punching him in the face and the woman saying "Oh my god, oh my god." I took his wallet and took out his I.D., and read off his name and address, and told him that I knew where he lived, and that if I ever went by there and saw anything, he was fucked. By this time, there were about a dozen people gathered around, so I picked up my stuff and left. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I'd forgotten the name and address immediately after reading it. Luckily, this was in the States, and the woman didn't look like she had no other means, so maybe she left the asshole. No woman deserves to be treated like that.

Not sure what I would do nowadays. Probably just try not to get involved...

 

[tiger02]

Originally Posted by LA Guy

Not sure what I would do nowadays. Probably just try not to get involved...

What, now that you know what he was going through, being married and all?

 

[globetrotter]

matt, you did the right thing. nothing better that you could have done. when I read your post, the one thing I thought of was what LA guy did - take his ID, but I know that probrably wasn't an option where you are. getting away quick is important, too.

nothing you can do about the woman's life. you did what you could.