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Small children.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by LabelKing, Mar 19, 2007.

  1. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, much better the guy who clipped off my wife's side-view mirror while she was sitting at a stop sign and then when she started to get out of the car to ask for his information drove off screaming "Go to hell, c***!" Or the folks you'll find at pretty much any restaurant shrieking into their cell phones the entire evening (and then probably stiffing the server on the tip.) Or the people who dump their food wrappers, empty bottles, and used rubbers on the beach rather than carry them 50 feet to a trash can. Yes, give me those mature, considerate, socially responsible adults any day . . .
    Well, that's who the overindulged, poorly socialized brats grow up to be. As for the brats, they don't know any better -- screaming and self-centeredness are only natural. If the people responsible for teaching you to function as a responsible and considerate member of society fail to do so, then there is only one possible result. The future of reality television is secure.
     
  2. redcaimen

    redcaimen Well-Known Member

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    Are you talking about LK or about the children? I really want to know.

    I'm not a huge fan of kids either. I don't want any and will not have any. But more than the kids, who are just being kids afterall, are the parents that think the world was meant exclusively for their children. This ranges from Moms dangerously driving SUVs with little care for anyone else to my oldest sister who let her kids run up and down my stairs nearly knocking over an art nouveau vase. I told them to stop. My home is not "kid friendly" and it won't be.

    And I have been called selfish on more than one occassion for either (i) not liking such behaviour as my neice and nephew were exhibiting, or (ii) for not having children.

    How can I be selfish for not having children? I'm sure my mother could explain it to me one more time but then I'd have to punch her. And I'm sure some random stranger could but then...well, you get the point. It's none of your damn business whether or not I breed or if not, why not. It is your business to make sure your kid doesn't make everyone else's life miserable though.


    b


    I think you are right on both counts. People should exercise more control over their childrens behavior and its best if you dont have children.
     
  3. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    Oh give me break LD. There are obviously people like that in the world. All over the place.

    Ultimately this issue comes down to the adults, the parents. There is something particularly galling about having children shoved down your throat. Horrible manners from parents in front of their kids. What lesson are you teaching them? Just as those adults you described above seem to think the world is their trash can, these mothers (it's always been mothers in my experience) treat the world as their dormat and EXPECT you to take it and to treat their child like royalty. Little Johnny is standing up on his chair at the cafe banging his sippy-cup on the table? Great. Nevermind that his dirty feet are on the chair and someone will come along later and unknowingly sit there (speaking from experience). Yes it bothered me that my neice and nephew were running up and down the stairs--they might have knocked over that vase. It was expensive. And in my house my vase comes before my neice and nephew's need to run up and down the stairs. And I wish my sister would have told them to stop right after I said, "You know, we have an antique vase right there." But she didn't.

    Selfish parents.


    I don't disagree with anything you said (except the limitation to mothers - I know equally idiotic fathers who think parenting involves modeling narcissistic behavior for their kids), nor do I think I posted anything inconsistent with it. My response was intended most to be tongue-in-cheek, and perhaps also to suggest that some of the more extreme reactions have more to do with the posters' social anxiety than any moral failings on the part of children.
    As you've noted, if your nephew and niece are are behaving inappropriately in your home, that reflects more on your sister than on them.
     
  4. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    If the people responsible for teaching you to function as a responsible and considerate member of society fail to do so, then there is only one possible result.

    .


    I agree in general, but not with the sweeping nature of your statement. I know plenty of people who have become mature and responsible in spite of, as opposed to because of, the parenting they experienced.
     
  5. Fabienne

    Fabienne Well-Known Member

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    What's interesting to me in the US is that if I am in the middle of telling my son he should or shouldn't do something, people will often say "Oh, that's OK."

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    What's interesting to me in the US is that if I am in the middle of telling my son he should or shouldn't do something, people will often say "Oh, that's OK." [​IMG]
    It takes a village idiot.
     
  7. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    I agree in general, but not with the sweeping nature of your statement. I know plenty of people who have become mature and responsible in spite of, as opposed to because of, the parenting they experienced.
    Point taken. They must have had some sort of surrogates, then. If only Lucy and Ricky.
     
  8. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    What's interesting to me in the US is that if I am in the middle of telling my son he should or shouldn't do something, people will often say "Oh, that's OK."

    [​IMG]


    Yes, I often have the same experience. I think that many people are so self-centered in their thinking that they cannot understand that I define the appropriate limits of my daughter's behavior by the values I want her to learn and embody rather than by the tolerance of others.
     
  9. Dakota rube

    Dakota rube Well-Known Member

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    The problem with children isn't the kids, but their parents. Bad parents create bad kids. In every sense of the word.
     
  10. Stazy

    Stazy Well-Known Member

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    The best is when they bring them to restaurants. If the entree costs more than $9.95, leave em at home.
    I disagree. Learning how to act in more refined settings is an important part of any child's development. As such, my parents routinely brought me and my siblings to fine dining establishments during our younger years. My parents have told stories of how other restaurant patrons were entirely disgusted to see 4 young kids seated near them, only to have them complement our behaviour at the conclusion of our meal. We were well behaved because 1) we did not want to face the wrath of are parents and 2) an uneventful meal almost guaranteed us dessert. [​IMG] It is a shame most kids cannot sit through a nice meal, but I think the fault lies more with the parents than with the poorly behaved child.
     
  11. Fabienne

    Fabienne Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I often have the same experience. I think that many people are so self-centered in their thinking that they cannot understand that I define the appropriate limits of my daughter's behavior by the values I want her to learn and embody rather than by the tolerance of others.

    Exactly. We have the grandparents on the same page, but there's not much you can do about strangers except tell them after the fact that no, you would rather your child understood the importance of XYZ.
     
  12. Fabienne

    Fabienne Well-Known Member

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    I disagree. Learning how to act in more refined settings is an important part of any child's development. As such, my parents routinely brought me and my siblings to fine dining establishments during our younger years.

    My parents have told stories of how other restaurant patrons were entirely disgusted to see 4 young kids seated near them, only to have them complement our behaviour at the conclusion of our meal. We were well behaved because 1) we did not want to face the wrath of are parents and 2) an uneventful meal almost guaranteed us dessert. [​IMG]

    It is a shame most kids cannot sit through a nice meal, but I think the fault lies more with the parents than with the poorly behaved child.


    In total agreement.
     
  13. Isaac Mickle

    Isaac Mickle Well-Known Member

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    If you are living the life of bachelor ease, and you have no sympathy for your brother who struggles to get himself a god-damn coffee while managing small children who are out of temper, then you are one selfish bastard.

    You might as well be rich and hate on the poor for not having money.

    You might as well be thin and hate on the fat for being overweight.

    People are unspeakably rude to parents with small children, and they are unspeakably rude to small children.

    As for the whole, "You should not take your kids out in public if they are not going to behave," I would say two things:

    (1) No children behave to the standard you desire 100% of the time. They do 90% of the time, and when they do, YOU IGNORE THEM. You don't see them. They are invisible to you.

    (2) It is IMPOSSIBLE to keep your children in the house 24/7.

    So you might as well complain about the dad who takes his down's syndrome kid out in public, or the mom who wheels her crippled daughter to the baseball game.

    "I can't see the field because that BLUBBERING CRIPPLE is sitting next to me."

    Seriously, as a parent, that's what you guys sound like to me.

    I'm just as selfish as the rest of you. I want to go places and run errands quickly and wear clothing that does not have slobber or snot on the shoulder and on the pant leg. I want to eat in a fine restaurant with my wife again. I'm selfish--that's why you make me angry with these teenage complaints about having to see children being children in public.
     
  14. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    If you are living the life of bachelor ease, and you have no sympathy for your brother who struggles to get himself a god-damn coffee while managing small children who are out of temper, then you are one selfish bastard. You might as well be rich and hate on the poor for not having money. You might as well be thin and hate on the fat for being overweight. People are unspeakably rude to parents with small children, and they are unspeakably rude to small children. As for the whole, "You should not take your kids out in public if they are not going to behave," I would say two things: (1) No children behave to the standard you desire 100% of the time. They do 90% of the time, and when they do, YOU IGNORE THEM. You don't see them. They are invisible to you. (2) It is IMPOSSIBLE to keep your children in the house 24/7. So you might as well complain about the dad who takes his down's syndrome kid out in public, or the mom who wheels her crippled daughter to the baseball game. "I can't see the field because that BLUBBERING CRIPPLE is sitting next to me." Seriously, as a parent, that's what you guys sound like to me. I'm just as selfish as the rest of you. I want to go places and run errands quickly and wear clothing that does not have slobber or snot on the shoulder and on the pant leg. I want to eat in a fine restaurant with my wife again. I'm selfish--that's why you make me angry with these teenage complaints about having to see children being children in public.
    It's thoroughly unreasonable to equate frustration with parents who tolerate, condone and excuse their childrens' bad behavior with begrudging a handicapped child the simple pleasure of a ball game.
     
  15. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    If you are living the life of bachelor ease, and you have no sympathy for your brother who struggles to get himself a god-damn coffee while managing small children who are out of temper, then you are one selfish bastard.

    You might as well be rich and hate on the poor for not having money.

    You might as well be thin and hate on the fat for being overweight.

    People are unspeakably rude to parents with small children, and they are unspeakably rude to small children.

    As for the whole, "You should not take your kids out in public if they are not going to behave," I would say two things:

    (1) No children behave to the standard you desire 100% of the time. They do 90% of the time, and when they do, YOU IGNORE THEM. You don't see them. They are invisible to you.

    (2) It is IMPOSSIBLE to keep your children in the house 24/7.

    So you might as well complain about the dad who takes his down's syndrome kid out in public, or the mom who wheels her crippled daughter to the baseball game.

    "I can't see the field because that BLUBBERING CRIPPLE is sitting next to me."

    Seriously, as a parent, that's what you guys sound like to me.

    I'm just as selfish as the rest of you. I want to go places and run errands quickly and wear clothing that does not have slobber or snot on the shoulder and on the pant leg. I want to eat in a fine restaurant with my wife again. I'm selfish--that's why you make me angry with these teenage complaints about having to see children being children in public.


    I think context has a lot to do with it. I think one should only take children to an upscale restaurant if the children are capable of behaving appropriately. On the other hand, I have no sympathy whatsoever for people who get pissy because children are moderately rambunctious in, say, a Starbucks, where people feel free to engage in loud conversation, move tables and chairs around, where the servers are loudly calling out the names of patrons whose drinks are ready, etc.
     
  16. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    In total agreement.
    +1. Also, I see absolutely NO reason a child shouldn't be expected to conduct themselves with the same level of decorum at McDonald's as they are expected to observe at Cipriani.
     
  17. texas_jack

    texas_jack Well-Known Member

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    Annoyance at poorly behaved kids is one thing and annoyance at kids in general is another. I think many people just don't like kids period and I think this is a very unhealthy situation for our future. See my above post.

    P.S. I don't have kids.
     
  18. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    On the other hand, I have no sympathy whatsoever for people who get pissy because children are moderately rambunctious in, say, a Starbucks, where people feel free to engage in loud conversation, move tables and chairs around, where the servers are loudly calling out the names of patrons whose drinks are ready, etc.
    [​IMG] Stay outta my Starbucks with da brats, Lawyerdood! Just kidding -- I never patronize that hellhole...
     
  19. JBZ

    JBZ Well-Known Member

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    What's interesting to me in the US is that if I am in the middle of telling my son he should or shouldn't do something, people will often say "Oh, that's OK."

    [​IMG]


    I actually caught myself doing this with a friend of mine. He and his children were visiting my home, and his children were doing something (I can't remember what) that I truly didn't find objectionable, but he did. He told them to stop, at which point I said to him, "Oh, that's okay. Don't worry about it." I think I said it to make him feel like his children weren't a problem and that he shouldn't worry. However, I quickly realized that this was probably a behavior he was trying to eliminate. I then said to him something like, "sorry, didn't mean to step onto your parenting ground."

    As for this thread, when you see habitually poorly behaved children in public, blame the parents, not the kids. Of course, no child is going to be a perfect angel at all times, but that's to be expected. As was pointed out above, I've run into just as many rude and self-centered adults in public places as I have children. At least children have an excuse.
     
  20. Quirk

    Quirk Well-Known Member

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    Annoyance at poorly behaved kids is one thing and annoyance at kids in general is another. I think many people just don't like kids period and I think this is a very unhealthy situation for our future.
    +1
    [​IMG]
     

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