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Roommate Horror Stories

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by TylerDurden, Sep 14, 2010.

  1. TylerDurden

    TylerDurden Well-Known Member

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    Got any good roommate horror stories you want to share?
     
  2. TylerDurden

    TylerDurden Well-Known Member

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    Opps... I didn't see that Mega Douche Roommate thread all ready posted on here.
     
  3. CityHunter

    CityHunter Well-Known Member

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    Opps... I didn't see that Mega Douche Roommate thread all ready posted on here.

    I think that thread was specific to the OP's roommate.

    Anyway, in college I lived with one random dude who had an anger management problem. For instance, one morning he was running late for class because his printer wouldn't work. After screaming at it for a while (waking me up in the process) he then SMASHED his laptop. Like, literally threw it against a wall and floor and basically ripped/separated the screen from the keyboard. Just because his paper wouldn't print out. That is what we were dealing with. Quite entertaining from an outsider's persepctive, but...

    This part has nothing to do with his anger problem, just plain ol' douchebagness/inconsideration. I owned that deluxe-sized George Foreman Grill that I let everybody use. Whenever he used it to cook meats, he would not use that small tray that catches the fat that drops down...he would let it all drip onto the kitchen counter. My roommates and I refused to clean up after him because of the principle; he should clean up his own mess. But he never did and we were left with hardened fat all over our kitchen counter.
    One day I came home and my Grill was smashed and he said that he did it (although I don't know how...maybe it didn't print out his papers?!), apologized and promised to buy me a new one. He did - but the extra small version that can only fit a tiny hamburger patty. And he ended up taking it with him when he moved out.
     
  4. Joffrey

    Joffrey Well-Known Member

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    One day I came home and my Grill was smashed and he said that he did it (although I don't know how...maybe it didn't print out his papers?!), apologized and promised to buy me a new one. He did - but the extra small version that can only fit a tiny hamburger patty. And he ended up taking it with him when he moved out.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Nouveau Pauvre

    Nouveau Pauvre Well-Known Member

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    Right when I turned 18 I moved in to a small farmhouse in Ellicott City, MD. Aside from the various adventures and mishaps (bonfires, lead paint, no heat in the winter and a closet that was like a noah's ark of illegal substances being grown) my roommate tried to kill me.

    Basically, this girl who was my best friend in the entire world for some time ended up arguing and fighting with me more and more, she also ended up sleeping with our other male roommate right after dumping my closest male friend. Her and the other roommate were drinking every day and probably dropping acid about as much, one night when everyone was fucked up I made some rude statement about the male roommates lazy druggie nature and she just snapped. Threw a glass at my head (fortunately I ducked and it hit my girlfriend) and jumped on me and started strangling me, biting,kicking and screaming. Finally my friend pulled her off and I sort of stumbled off dazed to my room.

    Ended up moving out the next morning.
     
  6. Nouveau Pauvre

    Nouveau Pauvre Well-Known Member

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    I also half lived on Jodum's couch for a minute but that's another story.
     
  7. guitarpkr76

    guitarpkr76 Well-Known Member

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  8. Saltricks

    Saltricks Well-Known Member

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    So all my friends (my roomates included) want to go to Tijuana to go to a strip bar. I say no thanks and decide to go to sleep. They get back REALLY late, and I stir from the sounds, but I drift back to sleep...for awhile...

    I hear some rustling on my roomates side of the room and I look over with hazy eyes and see my roomate's laptop open and bouncing titties and vagina on his screen. I see him moaning and notice he has his hand down his pants. Remember, I am in the same fucking room, in clear view of everything he is doing. I turn to face the wall slowly and try to drown out the sound, but I can hear him moaning loudly. I start coughing (on purpose) and the sounds stop. I hear him tip toe to the bathroom and the toilet flushes after about 3 minutes.
     
  9. ConcernedParent

    ConcernedParent Well-Known Member

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    My roommate last year ate a lot of kimchi and rarely bothered to finish it or put it away.
     
  10. dave333

    dave333 Well-Known Member

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    My roommate gets really obnoxious on skype. He also sleeps through his super obnoxious alarm and so I've even had to go and turn the piece of shit on.

    Otherwise, no probs
     
  11. CDFS

    CDFS Well-Known Member

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  12. phildo

    phildo Well-Known Member

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    roomy slit his wrists in the bathtub, i found him and called an ambo, he survived but moved back with his parents for a while
     
  13. mafoofan

    mafoofan Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure it qualifies as a horror story, but my freshman year roommate in college was a disaster. He was a pot smoker, and not merely an occasional one. He smoked everyday--a lot. I, on the other hand, was squeaky clean (f*ck, I've still never tried marijuana). In addition, he had very, very doting parents who liked to call him all the time, which including calling every morning around 7 to wish him a good day. So, not only was our phone line constantly tied up (this is before everyone had a cell phone), but I also never got enough sleep (he, of course, also had a habit of staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning to smoke more pot). They were completely oblivious to his drug use and sent him a couple extra hundred dollars whenever he was running low. He'd tell them he needed books or supplies. Of course, since he was using that money, plus the cash he started the semester with, to buy pot, he wound up unable to pay his part for our shared furniture and appliances. My parents, preferring I get along with my roommate and not cause tension, sent me extra money to pay for the stuff (a microwave, television, refrigerator, rug, etc.). So, in effect, they too wound up funding his pot smoking. Oh, and he didn't bring the stuff he agreed to when we moved in. My parents and I lugged the TV, microwave, and refrigerator, up from Maryland, while he was supposed to bring the carpet. I figured that was somewhat fair given that a rolled-up carpet would be very unwieldy. However, when I moved in, there was no rug to be found: just a 5x3 mat placed alongside his bed that said something like "Believe in Yourself." Oh, and how could I forget: I had signed up to live with a non-smoker because I had asthma. He reported himself as not smoking because he didn't want his parents to know about his cigarette and marijuana habits. So, I had to leave the room a lot, or otherwise weeze and cough myself to sleep. Everyone, including the R.C.s knew he was always smoking pot in the dorm, which was strictly prohibited. They didn't want to report anything themselves, not wanting to fall out with the dorm unit, and advised that I could if I really wanted to. In retrospect, I should have, as his habits and behavior were seriously disrupting both my studying and my health. However, I didn't want to be "that guy." So, I let things be. I'm sure he hated my guts, too. I was the only person in the dorm who matched his SAT score, which meant he couldn't as easily posture his superior intelligence around me. Plus, I'm sure he viewed me as a hopeless loser since I actually wanted to study and do well. If he liked me, he probably wouldn't have thrown a party in our dorm room over the weekend I had to fly home for my uncle's funeral and let everyone eat all the food my mom had sent me from home or allow a couple to have sex in my bed. I was f*cking furious and let him have it, threatening to tell his parents about his lifestyle (he got straight C's first semester but lied and said they were A's and B's). He acquiesced and said that it wouldn't happen again. Well, at that point, I was ready to request a room change or report him. But before I could do either, he announced to me that he was moving out. I was thrilled. Then a couple days later, his mother called--to talk to me. Speaking very compassionately, she said she was sorry things didn't work out and that I shouldn't take it personally. It was just that her son was a hard worker and not used to living with someone like me. All my partying and drug use was distracting from his academic career and he was going to go to law school at Harvard or Yale, so he had to be prepared. Before I could burst into hysterical laughter or begin ranting about what an idiot of a parent she was, she hung up. When he moved out, he said as a token of good will, I could keep the TV, refrigerator, and rug. Cruel as it may sound, it was to my great satisfaction when I learned that he had been suspended for the first semester of sophomore year due to failing grades. He wound up skipping that whole year and came back to join the class below us. It wound up taking him 6 years to graduate. Needless to say, he never went to Harvard or Yale Law.
     
  14. spertia

    spertia Well-Known Member

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    All my partying and drug use was distracting from his academic career.

    [​IMG]
     
  15. JohnGalt

    JohnGalt Well-Known Member

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    Right when I turned 18 I moved in to a small farmhouse in Ellicott City, MD. Aside from the various adventures and mishaps (bonfires, lead paint, no heat in the winter and a closet that was like a noah's ark of illegal substances being grown) my roommate tried to kill me.

    Basically, this girl who was my best friend in the entire world for some time ended up arguing and fighting with me more and more, she also ended up sleeping with our other male roommate right after dumping my closest male friend. Her and the other roommate were drinking every day and probably dropping acid about as much, one night when everyone was fucked up I made some rude statement about the male roommates lazy druggie nature and she just snapped. Threw a glass at my head (fortunately I ducked and it hit my girlfriend) and jumped on me and started strangling me, biting,kicking and screaming. Finally my friend pulled her off and I sort of stumbled off dazed to my room.

    Ended up moving out the next morning.


    [​IMG]
     
  16. JohnGalt

    JohnGalt Well-Known Member

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    Not exactly a horror story, but what the hell...

    Freshman year of school we had a roommate who was aptly dubbed "Fat Bastard" after the Austin Powers character of the same name that was well-known at that time. His personal hygiene habits were generally disgusting and his actions typically obnoxious.

    He tended to stay up/out very late (even during the week) and would stumble in drunk and stoned and order food, waking up the other 4 of us in the room. He would then proceed to sleep through his alarm in the morning - there was no way he was making it to his 8am classes. To try and combat this, he bought multiple alarm clocks, including an insanely loud old school brass alarm clock with the dual bell striker on top. He would place this one right next to his head (literally about 8" away). It turned out to be a regular occurrence that the multiple alarms would still not wake him up - I remember having to start kicking him to wake up one morning because I was pissed I couldn't get my sleep and nudging him wasn't working.

    To top it off, we thought he was selling drugs out of the room. He wasn't well-liked on the entire floor and due to space concerns it was difficult to move him out (our room was a converted study lounge with 5 people). Finally we all had enough, moved all of his shit into the hallway and wouldn't let him back in. The school found him another place to live right away. Interestingly, our room was right next to the main security office - you would think that they may have a problem with our actions, but apparently they didn't like him just as much as we did.
     
  17. Treen

    Treen Well-Known Member

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    I find it hard to grasp the concept of people going to generally extremely expensive American universities and living in the same room as someone they don't know. It just seems like a strange idea... I've shared houses with messy/loud/obnoxious people, but at least they're bed is further than 5 feet away from from me and in a different room.
     
  18. mafoofan

    mafoofan Well-Known Member

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    I find it hard to grasp the concept of people going to generally extremely expensive American universities and living in the same room as someone they don't know. It just seems like a strange idea... I've shared houses with messy/loud/obnoxious people, but at least they're bed is further than 5 feet away from from me and in a different room.

    It's supposed to be part of the collegiate experience. You're supposed to bond and grow together.
     
  19. BP348

    BP348 Well-Known Member

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    Then a couple days later, his mother called--to talk to me. Speaking very compassionately, she said she was sorry things didn't work out and that I shouldn't take it personally. It was just that her son was a hard worker and not used to living with someone like me. All my partying and drug use was distracting from his academic career and he was going to go to law school at Harvard or Yale, so he had to be prepared. Before I could burst into hysterical laughter or begin ranting about what an idiot of a parent she was, she hung up.

    I think I'd have had to send a letter to the parents after that.
     
  20. mafoofan

    mafoofan Well-Known Member

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    I think I'd have had to send a letter to the parents after that.

    Maybe--but at that point I was looking out for myself and was just happy to be done with the whole ordeal. Anyway, given what I could glean about them and their relationship with my roommate, they wouldn't have believed a word.
     

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