1. Welcome to the new Styleforum!

    We hope you’re as excited as we are to hang out in the new place. There are more new features that we’ll announce in the near future, but for now we hope you’ll enjoy the new site.

    We are currently fine-tuning the forum for your browsing pleasure, so bear with any lingering dust as we work to make Styleforum even more awesome than it was.

    Oh, and don’t forget to head over to the Styleforum Journal, because we’re giving away two pairs of Carmina shoes to celebrate our move!

    Please address any questions about using the new forum to support@styleforum.net

    Cheers,

    The Styleforum Team

    Dismiss Notice

I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Matt, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. randallr

    randallr Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,048
    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2008
    Location:
    NYC
    I figured id post this here, because I really could use all the advice I can get. Im a fucking wreck.

    When I emailed teger he asked me this

    "well, first question is, are you totally done with her? do you recognize this break up is a good thing, or do you still want her back?"

    i replied

    Am I totally done with her?

    Look it's hard to say, honestly.

    I knew that when we got back together, things were different. I knew that in a way she wasnt entirely sure she wanted to still be together, but she loved me, and she trusted me when I told her all will be well.

    And it was for like a month, but I knew she was acting different, and I knew she had changed. In a lot of ways I didnt like it, she was acting like a different person, wasnt the girl that I knew, but I figured we just needed time.

    I wont lie that the thought of leaving then didnt cross my mind, because things just werent the same...and I figured you know I tried, but it just isnt working, let me leave.

    We spent the weekend together, and we actually had a great time nothing seemed off, and a couple of weeks back, if you dont recall she said she felt like she was falling in love with me all over again.

    Anyway, we woke up together yesterday, we fucked, and we started talking about how things arent the same anymore...I asked her what she wanted to do, she said well we've tried time apart, that doesnt work, i dont want to lose you, so I guess we should just continue what weve been doing...I then flat out if she wanted to break up. She said, "if I tell you I want to break up, you're going to storm out of here, call me a bunch of names,and then regret it all and act like it never happened."

    I tell her no, I really am not going to do that, "do you want to break up?" She replies, that yes she does.

    I quietly get up, get dressed, gather my things, do this quietely. I know this is it, I have to accept it, from this point on at least for a little while I have to act like she doesnt exist. She walks up to me, gives me a hug, asks me if i want her to do anything for me, I say no thank you, and then I just walk out.

    She called me a couple of times later in the day, I didnt pick up, she then texted me "I would have picked up for you" and then later, "So you're just going to act like I dont exist anymore?"

    I didn't reply to either, and I throughout this whole thing always made it clear to her that if we break up im not going to acknowledge her existence, she never really believed it...

    Anyway, I kind of went off on a tangent. Do I want her back? I feel like I do, but at the same time I dont. I dont think its realistic, i dont think things would be the same, I dont want to fill my head with these thoughts that its possible, I just want to rid my mind of anything to do with her, which wont be easy, but i really am going to treat her like she is dead.

    I dont know if that answers your question, but I feel like shit. walking out of there yesterday I was like ok... I can deal with it. This morning I woke up and the reality hit me like a truck, this girl is gone, she meant so much to me, i loved her so much and now i dont have her. i wont lie next to her, smell her...you know.

    i feel really depressed, i know for the next couple of days/weeks/hopefully not months ill be drinking too much to often, i know my work will be affected, and hopefully not if i can help it but my school too.

    im not interested in any other woman. they all make me realize how great she was. i just feel like im existing, gonig though the motions of life, but not living.

    In short, I love her, I want to be with her, but I think that its impossible at this point, and do not want to think in that way.

    what the fuck do i do?


    Dude, fuck you.
     
  2. MarkI

    MarkI Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,685
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
  3. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,179
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    the over/under was a week, right? he lasted a month.

    did ANYONE think he'd get that long?
     
  4. APK

    APK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,798
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2008
    Location:
    MI
    I dunno, but everything we posted a month ago is still applicable here. Nothing has changed in that respect, so my advice is to go back and read all of that. But this time, actually listen.

    Also, fuji, don't post about crazy girl unless she kills herself. Wait, that's too callous. Just don't post about her anymore. I don't think I can stand seeing another post about her.
     
  5. Eason

    Eason Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    14,669
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2007
    Location:
    Bangkok
    the over/under was a week, right? he lasted a month.

    did ANYONE think he'd get that long?


    I think I went with over!
     
  6. Rambo

    Rambo Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    27,312
    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2007
    Location:
    I'M IN MIAMI, BITCH
    Everybody who took the Under owes me $20.
     
  7. Kajak

    Kajak Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,519
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2010
    Location:
    Canada
    next time she txts you, just txt back saying the best thing she could do for you right now would be to leave you alone.


    As for getting over it, it's just time. Nothing but time. 6 months, you'll be fine.


    This.

    Don't not reply, just text back "I want my time and space. Please respect that."

    And all the above advice - drink, party, bust ass. Work out intensely every day so you pass out when you hit your bed. And if you can't sleep, do something distracting.
     
  8. CDFS

    CDFS Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,048
    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2008
    Location:
    Ljouwert
    You crazy kids can make it work.
     
  9. unjung

    unjung Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,544
    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2008
    Location:
    The beach
    It always takes some time. After a while it will be better.

    Don't contact her.
     
  10. HgaleK

    HgaleK Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,972
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2009
    Location:
    NY
    I think I went with over!

    +1

    I thought he'd make it a little over 2. A month is kind of mind blowing though.
     
  11. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,179
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    Don't contact her.
    this is terrible advice.

    Mark - you NEED to contact her. you NEED to see her one more time, For Closure, so you can lay out exactly how you feel. You were right all along. Communication is key. If she sees how sincere you are, she will come running back with open arms and open legs. She's all yours man. Your first inch is already in.

    Pour your heart out again.

    Please post results.
     
  12. Mr. White

    Mr. White Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    801
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2009
  13. wootx

    wootx Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    519
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2009
    i'm so glad i'm not american.
     
  14. texas_jack

    texas_jack Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    10,229
    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2006
    Location:
    Hobart, IN
    I can't remember what i said but I think it was under.
     
  15. Mr. White

    Mr. White Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    801
    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2009
  16. MarkI

    MarkI Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,685
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2007
    You know nothing about this relationship, and what it had become.

    You can't push back what wasn't there in the first place.
     
  17. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    33,650
    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2007
    Location:
    Chicago
    Can't believe this thread is still active.

    ^^^ While this is a good laugh, the world is full of people who dump each other like hour-old fries. I'll play the contrarian for a minute.

    About 99% of Americans don't have a clue about sex or relationships (just as they don't know how to tie a tie -- and if they do, it's probably a once-over). They're just about the most ignorant people on the face of the Earth when it comes to anything real. Booger-nose rings or ankle tattoos, sure, they got the latest dope straight from someone's text about a blog about what someone said. But ask them why to wear a booger-nose ring, and they just mouth dumbass shit like "it's cool." I'm not saying that Chinese or Indians or whatever are doing much better. They just haven't yet reached American levels of "I was raised by mom and her gay boyfriends."

    OK. You call her "my girlfriend" not "my woman." I'm one of the more antifeminist posters on this site, so I despise the effeminate terms "girlfriend" and "boyfriend." Strictly for adolescents. So I'm going ahead on the premise that she was "your woman."

    What made her your woman in the first place? That is, beyond the mere need to splooge into her. Well, you two had some real chemistry. You might dislike each other intensely, but you want each other. Plenty of LTRs are based on a man and woman who can't stand each other in the daytime, but want to play mommy and daddy otherwise.

    Do you have any life in the daytime outside the home? If the answer is "yes," it's possible for you to patch things up and marry her. This whole makeup/breakup thing is for stupid people. Learn from your mistakes and stop making them. Don't spend half your time in breakup mode. Start saying "yes honey" and think of what she actually needs rather than the poison that women spew.

    BTW, the word "cheat" is for kiddies too. Every woman has sex with men besides "her man," and every man has sex with women besides "his woman." That's life. Your behavior will be more reasonable and she'll like you a lot better when you get a #2 woman and maybe even a #3. Just don't be a pussy and ever let on in the slightest that you have another woman. That includes washing the smell off when you go see another. Letting on that you got laid elsewhere is just rubbing it in her face -- and vengeful behavior is the exact childish shit that is the total opposite of adult long-term getting along.


    This is purely an American phenomenon. Bravo.
     
  18. gort

    gort Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,847
    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2010
    Can't believe this thread is still active.

    ^^^ While this is a good laugh, the world is full of people who dump each other like hour-old fries. I'll play the contrarian for a minute.

    About 99% of Americans don't have a clue about sex or relationships (just as they don't know how to tie a tie -- and if they do, it's probably a once-over). They're just about the most ignorant people on the face of the Earth when it comes to anything real. Booger-nose rings or ankle tattoos, sure, they got the latest dope straight from someone's text about a blog about what someone said. But ask them why to wear a booger-nose ring, and they just mouth dumbass shit like "it's cool." I'm not saying that Chinese or Indians or whatever are doing much better. They just haven't yet reached American levels of "I was raised by mom and her gay boyfriends."

    OK. You call her "my girlfriend" not "my woman." I'm one of the more antifeminist posters on this site, so I despise the effeminate terms "girlfriend" and "boyfriend." Strictly for adolescents. So I'm going ahead on the premise that she was "your woman."

    What made her your woman in the first place? That is, beyond the mere need to splooge into her. Well, you two had some real chemistry. You might dislike each other intensely, but you want each other. Plenty of LTRs are based on a man and woman who can't stand each other in the daytime, but want to play mommy and daddy otherwise.

    Do you have any life in the daytime outside the home? If the answer is "yes," it's possible for you to patch things up and marry her. This whole makeup/breakup thing is for stupid people. Learn from your mistakes and stop making them. Don't spend half your time in breakup mode. Start saying "yes honey" and think of what she actually needs rather than the poison that women spew.

    BTW, the word "cheat" is for kiddies too. Every woman has sex with men besides "her man," and every man has sex with women besides "his woman." That's life. Your behavior will be more reasonable and she'll like you a lot better when you get a #2 woman and maybe even a #3. Just don't be a pussy and ever let on in the slightest that you have another woman. That includes washing the smell off when you go see another. Letting on that you got laid elsewhere is just rubbing it in her face -- and vengeful behavior is the exact childish shit that is the total opposite of adult long-term getting along.



    I read this post in your avatar's voice. Epic. [​IMG]
     
  19. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,179
    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2005
    Location:
    Sunny Saigon
    You know nothing about this relationship, and what it had become.

    You can't push back what wasn't there in the first place.


    [​IMG]
     
  20. Gibonius

    Gibonius Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,106
    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2009
    Location:
    Suburban Sprawl Sector 3, Maryland
    Can't believe this thread is still active.

    ^^^ While this is a good laugh, the world is full of people who dump each other like hour-old fries. I'll play the contrarian for a minute.

    About 99% of Americans don't have a clue about sex or relationships (just as they don't know how to tie a tie -- and if they do, it's probably a once-over). They're just about the most ignorant people on the face of the Earth when it comes to anything real. Booger-nose rings or ankle tattoos, sure, they got the latest dope straight from someone's text about a blog about what someone said. But ask them why to wear a booger-nose ring, and they just mouth dumbass shit like "it's cool." I'm not saying that Chinese or Indians or whatever are doing much better. They just haven't yet reached American levels of "I was raised by mom and her gay boyfriends."

    OK. You call her "my girlfriend" not "my woman." I'm one of the more antifeminist posters on this site, so I despise the effeminate terms "girlfriend" and "boyfriend." Strictly for adolescents. So I'm going ahead on the premise that she was "your woman."

    What made her your woman in the first place? That is, beyond the mere need to splooge into her. Well, you two had some real chemistry. You might dislike each other intensely, but you want each other. Plenty of LTRs are based on a man and woman who can't stand each other in the daytime, but want to play mommy and daddy otherwise.

    Do you have any life in the daytime outside the home? If the answer is "yes," it's possible for you to patch things up and marry her. This whole makeup/breakup thing is for stupid people. Learn from your mistakes and stop making them. Don't spend half your time in breakup mode. Start saying "yes honey" and think of what she actually needs rather than the poison that women spew.

    BTW, the word "cheat" is for kiddies too. Every woman has sex with men besides "her man," and every man has sex with women besides "his woman." That's life. Your behavior will be more reasonable and she'll like you a lot better when you get a #2 woman and maybe even a #3. Just don't be a pussy and ever let on in the slightest that you have another woman. That includes washing the smell off when you go see another. Letting on that you got laid elsewhere is just rubbing it in her face -- and vengeful behavior is the exact childish shit that is the total opposite of adult long-term getting along.


    I have no idea if this is a serious post or not, but [​IMG]


    That last paragraph is something else. Sucks for you if that's how you think everybody else actually acts.
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by