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How Do You Choose Your Battles?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Tck13, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. Tck13

    Tck13 Well-Known Member

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    So, some guy tailgated me for about a mile and a half and then when I was turning left he drove real close to my car on the right and yelled "asshole" out the window at me.

    A guy at work simply doesn't do a part of his job and tries to pass it on to me. He then tells my supervisor (constantly) about how I don't do anything and I'm worthless.

    I think my supervisor believes him...

    Blah, blah, blah...

    When does one take a stand? What are the good battles to pick and the ones to let go?

    While I'm a pretty laid back and tolerant person, I don't want to end up like Michael Douglas in Falling Down but I'm wondering what battles you find worth fighting?

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  2. justsayno

    justsayno Well-Known Member

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    pick the ones that you can win.

    the smartest thing that you can do is not start a battle that you will lose.
     
  3. Nathaniel72

    Nathaniel72 Well-Known Member

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    If I end up losing sleep over something then it becomes a question of how to battle.

    ...I almost always prefer mano a mano
     
  4. Johnny_5

    Johnny_5 Well-Known Member

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    You will find that if you nip things in the bud early you will save yourself a lot of stress later.
     
  5. Hombre Secreto

    Hombre Secreto Well-Known Member

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    I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought.
     
  6. clee1982

    clee1982 Well-Known Member

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    pick the ones that you can win.

    the smartest thing that you can do is not start a battle that you will lose.


    +1
     
  7. Tck13

    Tck13 Well-Known Member

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    If I end up losing sleep over something then it becomes a question of how to battle.

    ...I almost always prefer mano a mano


    Are we talking pistols? Swords? Or, maybe boxing? [​IMG]

    I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought.

    Funny, that book has been on my reading list forever. Any suggestions on a good translation and commentary?
     
  8. Hombre Secreto

    Hombre Secreto Well-Known Member

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    James Clavell made a short and simple version.
     
  9. coldnyt1

    coldnyt1 Well-Known Member

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    So, some guy tailgated me for about a mile and a half and then when I was turning left he drove real close to my car on the right and yelled "asshole" out the window at me.

    A guy at work simply doesn't do a part of his job and tries to pass it on to me. He then tells my supervisor (constantly) about how I don't do anything and I'm worthless.

    I think my supervisor believes him...

    Blah, blah, blah...

    When does one take a stand? What are the good battles to pick and the ones to let go?

    While I'm a pretty laid back and tolerant person, I don't want to end up like Michael Douglas in Falling Down but I'm wondering what battles you find worth fighting?

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later. I AGREE

    TIP: to embed Youtube clips, put only the encoded part of the Youtube URL, e.g. eBGIQ7ZuuiU between the tags.


    for me .. the smartest thing to do ever.. just STAY AWAY from those shits... remind yourself .. that you are much BETTER than those little P....Y
     
  10. Big T

    Big T Well-Known Member

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    A battle won is a battle not fought.

    Several years ago, I telephoned a customer to speak to the owner, who I hadn't heard from in some time. I was put through to his brother, that explained to me several months earlier he had died. As I had met the gentleman once, several years earlier, and his age was close to mine, I asked for the circumstances. His brother explained that his vehicle was bumped and he had words with the other driver. As it was a minor accident, police were not called (I also assumed that the "words" may have been a little more than "words"). Anyhow, he left the accident scene, heading home. The other driver followed him and when he got out of his vehicle, he ran him down. He died a day or so later from the injuries.

    Me, I'm quick tempered and I have to work at containing my mouth. The older I get the better I control my temper.
     
  11. marg

    marg Well-Known Member

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    handle that work issue because that will only escalate.

    the guy that tailgates you, fuck 'em! drive slower.
     
  12. sinnedk

    sinnedk Well-Known Member

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    As far as crazy drivers, let it pass, not worth it.
    Your coworker you shouldn't let him do that to you. Outperform the coworker and make sure the supervisor notices. Thus, you can passive aggressively take care of that problem. Those kinds of people eventually always get caught.
    Dont let people get to you, choose your battles carefully and read art of war.
    good luck
     
  13. SladeDT

    SladeDT Well-Known Member

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    yeah. outshine that d-bag at work. forget about the traffic crap though. everyone has a gun in their car now a days and they apparently are stupid enough to use it.
     
  14. Monaco

    Monaco Well-Known Member

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    You should also weigh in the facts that if you choose to proceed with said battle, how it will affect your tomorrow and those around you. When it comes to the guy at your workplace blaming you for absent work, just write down the things you've been assigned and keep a report that documents which assignments you've completed. You can even send a monthly report to your boss to show you are serious about your work and that you're actually doing it all. Win-win if you ask me.
     
  15. Steve Smith

    Steve Smith Well-Known Member

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    Here are two good rules to follow (I am serious):

    1. Never go to battle with someone who has less to lose than you do.
    2. If you are not sure about #1, don't go to battle.

    Bonus rule:
    1. Ask yourself if this issue will matter to you next month. In the case of traffic slights, the answer will always be "no".
     
  16. Svenn

    Svenn Well-Known Member

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    So, some guy tailgated me for about a mile and a half and then when I was turning left he drove real close to my car on the right and yelled "asshole" out the window at me.

    While I don't defend the inexcusable slur, did you wonder what you had been doing wrong to provoke it? Road rage is a thorny issue, and it's not as simplistic as some people think... people have radically different approaches to driving from each other yet everybody has to share the same road... it's one of the few situations in our loner society where we actually have to think about other people.

    One of the major causes of traffic congestion, for example, is people driving slowly in the left lane, or driving unnecessarily slow in the first place. Usually the people doing the latter have a 'my car is my castle' type attitude and take offense to anyone tailgating, honking, or encouraging them to move over. In other words OP, if somebody's tailgating you, your first response shouldn't be 'I should write a SF post about how mean people are', rather, you should move the f-ck over cuz you have no idea what the hell his situation is. The fact that he found it necessary to yell asshole though probably means he is one.
     
  17. Tck13

    Tck13 Well-Known Member

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    While I don't defend the inexcusable slur, did you wonder what you had been doing wrong to provoke it? Road rage is a thorny issue, and it's not as simplistic as some people think... people have radically different approaches to driving from each other yet everybody has to share the same road... it's one of the few situations in our loner society where we actually have to think about other people.

    One of the major causes of traffic congestion, for example, is people driving slowly in the left lane, or driving unnecessarily slow in the first place. Usually the people doing the latter have a 'my car is my castle' type attitude and take offense to anyone tailgating, honking, or encouraging them to move over. In other words OP, if somebody's tailgating you, your first response shouldn't be 'I should write a SF post about how mean people are', rather, you should move the f-ck over cuz you have no idea what the hell his situation is. The fact that he found it necessary to yell asshole though probably means he is one.



    This was several months ago, so my first thought wasn't to "post it on SF". I was really only simplifying my examples for this thread to find out how much people will take and where they choose to take stands against whatever.

    As far as the tailgater, the only thing that I can think of is that I pulled out in front of him and he didn't like it.

    He was quite a distance down the road when I stopped at an intersection and then pulled out in plenty of time. My thought is that he was angry because we ended up at a stop light about 100 yards down the road after I pulled out so he was probably thinking that I held him up or something like that.

    Then, with several cars in front of me on a two lane road he tailgated me for about a mile and a half. Pulling up on my bumper then backing off, and on and on. Finally, I entered a left turn lane and he sped up and drove past my car on the right and yelled out his window that I was an "asshole" and then just kept driving in traffic (presumably just tailgating the person that was in front of me).

    Plus, whether I did something wrong or not, that doesn't give him or anyone else the right to put me in danger.
     
  18. Svenn

    Svenn Well-Known Member

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    ^oh, well that guy is an asshole then, I've encountered that type before too and it's really at a whole other level than what I was talking about previously. If they're that irrational, I would never try to provoke them, not worth it.
     
  19. Nathaniel72

    Nathaniel72 Well-Known Member

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    Are we talking pistols? Swords? Or, maybe boxing? [​IMG]
    Just tactfully let him know you're onto him...

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Reggs

    Reggs Well-Known Member

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    I always let road conflict go. One time this man with his family pulled out in front of me and caused me to hard break. Im driving behind this guy with my girlfriend in the car on our way out to eat. Im behind him for some time and he pulls into the restaurant we are going to. I get out of my car and just stand there waiting for my gf to get her jacket on for about a min and this guy is still sitting in his car parked watching me.

    I never intended to make battle, but it was nice knowing that he was intimidated enough to stay put until I left the parking lot.
     

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