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hlp w/ conversation openers (not cheezy pick up lines)

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by wing8tes_qw, Jul 18, 2007.

  1. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    There's this article in Esquire about "Radical Honesty", a movement that advocates that "we should toss out the filters between our brains and our mouths"and the founder of the movement narrated how....

    Didn't work in Tootsie.
     
  2. lawyerdad

    lawyerdad Well-Known Member

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    look maybe i'm just full of s**t but how about you try getting comfortable with who you are first? it doesn't matter what you say as long as you're honest and confident. if you start talking about how you love edy's fruit bars when it's hot because that's what you like, she'll either laugh or think you're a wierdo, you move on. i think hanging around here looking for 'lines' is not getting you anywhere.

    instead of trying to sound like you're more interesting then you are how about working out, reading the paper, reading more books etc and become more interesting?

    btw, why did you freak out when she said she was from here? you detected an accent, why didn't you follow through with that? i don't think the problem was with the opener, the problem is you weren't confident enough to follow through on the conversation--you did the hard part which is opened, you gave up too easily!


    qft
     
  3. wing8tes_qw

    wing8tes_qw Well-Known Member

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    1st off, thx 4 the advice everyone. I read the other forum about Connemara and it just clicked that I'm pretty much that guy.

    update:

    I totally get the whole "do not hesitate to act" I learned it the hard way this morning. Elevator again, I'm waiting, an attractive girl appears " 7", The other girl was HOTT "10". Anyhow she says good morning then basically replicated the exact conversation I had with the HOT girl, except she was engaging me. She got off at the lobby and I though Oh Geez so I went back to find her but she was gone.

    I had been practicing saying hi and chatting girls. Most were fairly uneventful.

    There was a girl was eating alone "6". I said "mmm that smells really yummy, how did you make that?" and made it a 15min chat. I didn't ask her out or get a phone or room number, kinda kicking myself (I should be working on that too).
     
  4. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

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    Poking my tongue out at girls works for me.

    I dont know why, but its just kinda what I do. I poke out my tongue, they look at me funny. I do it again. They poke tongue out back. I walk over there and then <surplus fat trimmed> they sleep with me.
     
  5. razuel

    razuel Well-Known Member

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    Complimenting a girl on her clothes/hair does work if you're confident and manly with it.

    I work at a retail clothing store and use it all the time; girls really open up to things like that and not because they think you're gay. Just don't put it like 'oh my god that is so cute' rather say-- your hair looks really nice, I like that style.
     
  6. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

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    Complimenting a girl on her clothes/hair does work if you're confident and manly with it.
    there's a skill to that.

    Anyone can walk up and say "i like your blouse", too obvious, too there for all to see.

    It has to be a small detail that she thinks that Men Will Never Notice but that she has pored over for an hour before she left - like the weird little jewel things embedded in her nail polish that she had to sit still for an hour while the beautician lined them up right - crap like that.

    Notice that stuff - then you score points.
     
  7. visionology

    visionology Well-Known Member

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    Has anything exciting happened in your building lately (party, some type of new notice, something new added, pool closed or opened, etc)? Perhaps that may be something you both have in common since you both live in the same building. Something like "Have you heard about blah blah blah happening in the building" If she says yes then you say "what do you think of that?" and if not you can explain it and wait for her input or stoke her input with small questions. Mix small bits of humor in there but don't go overboard. If she laughs a lot or touches you, you are golden.

    Conversations are like trees, your main topic is the trunk and each detail leads to a new branch of conversation.
     
  8. Sartorian

    Sartorian Well-Known Member

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    there's a skill to that. Anyone can walk up and say "i like your blouse", too obvious, too there for all to see. It has to be a small detail that she thinks that Men Will Never Notice but that she has pored over for an hour before she left - like the weird little jewel things embedded in her nail polish that she had to sit still for an hour while the beautician lined them up right - crap like that. Notice that stuff - then you score points.
    Notice that stuff, and women love you. Notice that stuff, and you're really loving women--the entire sex. I dig out on crap like that on the subway all the time. I start at the face, then I'm looking at the buttons on their blouse, the nail polish on their fingers or toes, whether they manicure or not, how they bundle their hair, the matching colors between their dress pattern and their earrings, the makeup they chose, etc. Women are really fricking creative the way they dress, despite the few threads to the contrary on SF.
    Conversations are like trees, your main topic is the trunk and each detail leads to a new branch of conversation.
    Well put. OP, I had a similar thing happen on the street the other day, and I think people are right when they say, just keep talking. I'm getting to the point where I'm just chatting with anyone out and about. Not to pick up on anyone, but to get comfortable doing it. Once you're at the point, talking to a lady in the elevator will pretty much be akin to talking to her at a party.
     
  9. tiecollector

    tiecollector Well-Known Member

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    there's a skill to that.

    Anyone can walk up and say "i like your blouse", too obvious, too there for all to see.

    It has to be a small detail that she thinks that Men Will Never Notice but that she has pored over for an hour before she left - like the weird little jewel things embedded in her nail polish that she had to sit still for an hour while the beautician lined them up right - crap like that.

    Notice that stuff - then you score points.



    Yeah this has worked in the past and I need to bring it back into rotation. This is the one reason why there needs to be a women's fashion forum, not for chicks, but for dudes to know the terminology so you can really wow them and talk about how their ass looks.
     
  10. Matt

    Matt Well-Known Member

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    oh - and never never never compliment jewellery.

    The risk is just way too high that it was given to her by some other dude, and thus plummeting the conversation into lands unwanted.

    A slippery slope to friendland awaits you if you find yourself locked into some conversation about How He Could Be So Sweet When He Wanted To But Then He Just Turns.....when all you said was "hey, i love the blue in that ring"
     
  11. CAshtead

    CAshtead Member

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    You: Fancy coming back to my place for Pizza and a shag?

    Her: No

    You: What? You don't like Pizza?
     
  12. Master-Classter

    Master-Classter Well-Known Member

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    I've had the same sort of problems... and here's what I've done (Let's just say I'm a recovering AFC): TALK TO PEOPLE, ANYONE, EVERYONE!
    Jjust get into the habit of speaking with anyone anywhere anytime. and especially speak with a lot of ugly girls, people you have no intention of dating, hooking up with, or maybe even being friends with. Just get into the habit of opening up and you'll start to naturally get the swing of things... and you won't be nervous or anything because it's almost like you're doing them a favor talking to them, hell, you're the best thing to happen to them all day!
    Anyway, once you get comfortable with that, then that pretty girl? well she's just another person and you've met a million jsut like her, so talking with her is no big deal. There's probably a bunch of guys out there who think she's not that hot and wouldn't get nervous speaking with her, so why should you? and if it doesn't go well, we both know there's million other girls out there who are just as hot. anyway, good luck to ya.
     
  13. tiecollector

    tiecollector Well-Known Member

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    I've had the same sort of problems... and here's what I've done (Let's just say I'm a recovering AFC): TALK TO PEOPLE, ANYONE, EVERYONE!
    Jjust get into the habit of speaking with anyone anywhere anytime. and especially speak with a lot of ugly girls, people you have no intention of dating, hooking up with, or maybe even being friends with. Just get into the habit of opening up and you'll start to naturally get the swing of things... and you won't be nervous or anything because it's almost like you're doing them a favor talking to them, hell, you're the best thing to happen to them all day!
    Anyway, once you get comfortable with that, then that pretty girl? well she's just another person and you've met a million jsut like her, so talking with her is no big deal. There's probably a bunch of guys out there who think she's not that hot and wouldn't get nervous speaking with her, so why should you? and if it doesn't go well, we both know there's million other girls out there who are just as hot. anyway, good luck to ya.


    Great idea!

    One pet peeve I've had is when people use music as a conversation starter. I have never resorted to this and find it uber cheezballs.
     
  14. visionology

    visionology Well-Known Member

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    That is one of the lessons in classes on self help. They will typically have you go to a park or city block and start conversations with as many random people as possible.
     
  15. p.trick

    p.trick Well-Known Member

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    That is one of the lessons in classes on self help. They will typically have you go to a park or city block and start conversations with as many random people as possible.

    A fun and easy way to get started:

     
  16. rzi

    rzi Well-Known Member

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    Honestly I find that I am most charismatic, and confident, when I don't give a shit. So, if you can fool your body (and mind) into not caring then you'll act more confident, less awkward, and not care if you get turned down at all.

    I do the same exact thing haha.
     
  17. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Well-Known Member

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    a good conversation opener would be sharing about all your fun and wonderful memories on styleforum , chatting with others on the internet and all the buffoonery and wisecracks ,etc. she should have a blast listening to you!!!![​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  18. MunnyGuy

    MunnyGuy Well-Known Member

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    Stop right there. At the conclusion of the word "wearing," the woman will automatically have determined that you are gay. Especially if you say the above in a less than masculine way.
    Please do not do this, OP.


    My thoughts exactly!!!! Try to avoid exclamations like " OH MY GOD! FAAAABULOUS or You Go Girl"

    Oh she will love you... but just to shop with and talk to you about the guy she is currently sleeping with[​IMG]
     
  19. FatController

    FatController Active Member

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    Is that your real nose?
    You have beautiful eyes, especially the left one.
    etc[​IMG]
     
  20. untilted

    untilted Well-Known Member

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    nice nails. are they fake? well, they are nice anyway.

    It's called a "neg".

    demonstration of higher values.
     

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